Oh my, Dick!

An intoxicated Andy Dick was arrested today for yanking a womans tank top down and freeing her breasts, and was found to have marijunana and Xanax on him... which is strange because he seem to really have it together in his mug shot.

Pick the State

A 66 year old man was severely injured this week when he used a shotgun to loosen a nut on his tire, in:
a) Texas
b) Tennessee
c) Mississippi
d) Washington
e) Georgia

Starbucks to close 600 stores . . . of their own!

Continue reading "Starbucks to close 600 stores . . . of their own!" »

puzzlefarter

Put a little guy through his paces, via gas expulsion, with this video game.
(T-minus ten seconds until someone chimes in to say they saw this three months ago, or such).

The Daily Mash (U.K.)

England recently unleashed their foul-mouthed version of The Onion.

Sample Spoof-Letter to the Editors
"Dear Chancellor of the Cocking Exchequer,
As if I did not already have enough on my plate clearing up all your other shit, you now expect me to bend over so you can stick it right up me in public, like some tit-knobbing arse jockey, just because a loaf of bread now costs a clitting fiver. Well try publishing this, fuck-button."

I have no idea what this concerns, but I do admire his inventive swearing. "Fuck-button" ...that's darn good stuff.

Other Mash headlines:
Foot Collectors flock to Canada Shoreline
People who Know How to F*cking Park on Brink of Extinction

Harry Dead Stanton : Still Alive

Don't let this photo fool you, the dude is still tramping his way through Hollywood . . . fuckin' amazing!

To Infinity.... etc.

Awfully cool footage of a jet-powered flightsuit!

The future is here (again) and for once it didn't come from California, which can only bring us men marrying men these days, harumph! ...just kidding! As soon as I get my airplane suit I'm jetting out west and coming back with a husband. For maximum gayness, we'll be holding hands as we swoop back over the Rockies.

Huh. No wonder they're so pissed off.

Saudi Arabia: Awfully difficult to "tap that."

“I’d say that maybe 3 out of 10 nights of numbering,we have some success,” Fahad explained.

“You mean that 3 out of 10 nights you get a girl to talk to you?” I asked.

“No, no,” Fahad laughed. “Maybe 3 out of 10 nights we get one phone number. Getting a girl to actually talk to you on the phone is much rarer. But it happens, so we’re always hoping.”

Notice he didn't say "praying."

The sinkhole that ate Texas

The 260-foot-deep sinkhole appeared and grew to the length of three football fields over just two days. The 900-foot-long sinkhole, with crumbling dirt around its edges resembling sharp teeth, has swallowed up oil tanks and barrels, tires, telephone poles and several vehicles in Daisetta, TX.

Grim Reaper Trumps Way-Back Machine

Ted Key, creator of "Mr. Peabody & Sherman" kicks the bucket.

Hulu

The site Hulu, just out of Beta, offers the concept you've been waiting for. A free, centralized, high quality dumping ground (& viewing area) for current TV shows (old bits and some movies). They have some kinks to work out, but I'm digging it.

As you may have noted, YouTube has become too unspecialised to even confront it. And on Hulu, sound and image quality are great.

The name is not very clever - Sort of, let's put "TiVo" and "YouTube" in a blender and see what we get!

Ra-orrrrr...

Wilford Brimley and his cat twins page.

Congrats to Liz and Brad!!!

Thanks again for letting us in on your surprise wedding.

Hoo doggie...

I guess what elevates this sex toy to the heights of weirdness for me is the product name "I Rub My Wormie."

...from the weirdest sextoys list, which also features.
- Alien blow-up doll.
- Wearable oral sex light
Really... you're going to have many questions after sequencing through the list.

So, can I pry the gun out of his hand now?

Chilly Reception

The "Cruzin' Cooler" is being advertised via radio, and I'm unable, as a consumer, to understand why I want to ride a cooler anywhere, let alone through piles of snow. I am however willing to pay for the inventor to get steriilzed.

Maybe it's like that old saying about locking a bunch of monkeys in a roomful of broken gadgets for eternity.

Cute-topia

While caught up in the daily grind in Japan, it's easy to forget that animation is the solution to most of your problems. So they've created a government post to promote animation and already named a mascot to the position.

In related news, Japan is now considered a front-runner for the coveted "Weirdest Culture of 2008" title.

So you went and did it.

(the official Karen and Ethan marital blog entry)

Most regretful I can't be there. I made this image for you.
All my love from Texas.

Riddle me this.

How on earth does a person make their name as a nemesis-crushing, whistle-blowing reformer (for almost a decade) while secretly indulging an apetite for pricey hookers? How do you imagine you're protected from those you've toppled, who would be looking for this exact piece of information about you?

How is NY's Elliot Spitzer capable of such unimaginable levels of stupidity?

Selct one: because he's:
a) a douche bag
b) a horn dog
c) a gas bag
d) secretly a Republican
e) more than one of the above

American Community Survey - WFT?

Should I be worried about throwing away this wildly intrusive, quasi-census form?

Frankly, they should be paying me for the time it would take to fill out not to mention all the valuable consumer info it attempts to cull.