Don't fear drunken English, locals told

They may be big, loud and drunk, but there is no need to fear them.

Hah! Here we go! Here we go! Here we go!

The pamphlets urge shopkeepers to try to communicate with the fans, and in addition to daily phrases like 'Welcome' and 'Can I help you', it recommends trying: 'England are a great team'.

Well, better than '94, anyway.

Wait, it gets better...

'The Handy Guide for England Supporters', which will be handed out to the fans together with their tickets, tell them to avoid a 'cultural red card', such as taking shirts off in public, and advising that those with tatoos cover them up.

It also warns that drunken fans will not be allowed into the matches, urging: 'Pace yourself!'

The media loves this shit. "Oh, my! Nooo! Here come the hooligans! Hide the women and children!" Fox Sports World has been running these short "Road to the World Cup" fluff pieces on teams, players, and how Korea and Japan are preparing for the crowds. Almost all of these are used to demonstrate the flash new riot gear the cops have, including net guns that can take down three people from five meters away or some crap like that. The most recent one shows Japanese riot cops taking on a "simulated" attack by hooligans, followed by the cops jumping all over the "hooligans," 3-5 on 1.

Nothing is funnier than a Japanese guy trying to act like an English hooligan. I'm pretty sure they were laughing through the whole performance.