Emerging Weapons Ripped from Porn Plotlines!
A Pentagon secret-weapon program has been disclosed: "The Ohio Air Force lab proposed 7.5 million for research into a bomb that would cause enemy soliders to become gay, and to have their units break down because all their soldiers became irresistably attractive to one another." Perhaps as a bonus they'd all go to hell for being gay, leaving heaven for just god-loving heterosexuals.
Ohio is a real center of sexual expertise. This bomb makes perfect sense, since, as in heterosexuality where every woman is attracted to every man (and vice-versa), every gay man must want to do every other gay man. Every gay man craves Colin Farrell, Charles Nelson Reilly AND Bruce Villanch. Chemistry... looks... none of that figures into it.
Ever get the feeling that the ability to think has been bred out of our capitalist paradise?
I read a pamphlet on this while standing in line at the Creation Museum the other weekend . . . interesting stuff.
The Rapture can't come soon enough for me.
Carl 11 Jun 2007