03 Jan 2008

  
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iBee-yotch

My policy is to return items to the people who've lost them, no matter how appealing the find. For this service, I think one person in 15 years has given me five dollars. (!) When people return my things I always give them some reward, based on how costly and annoying it would have been to replace the item.

Last night I found an iPhone and was looking for any clue as to who owned it when I got this delightful msg.
iphone.jpg

Umm. you're welcome biz-natch.

True to form when the combative, foul-mouthed owner claimed her phone today she gave me a five dollar gift-card to Starbucks (I don't drink coffee), and a paperback on surviving an Alien Abduction. Hey thanks!

I saved her $500 and she offers a one percent reward! Thanks a lot Denise Johnson of Houston, you cheap *****. I'm done returning items. People don't deserve their stuff back.


 
 
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Comments (5)
 
 

Comments

  

Are you sure that wasn't my iPhone you picked up? The passive/aggressive thing to do would be to use it to email death threats to public officials; then download gigabytes of documents on nuclear bomb manufacturing, child pron and Metallica mp3s, before kindly handing it back to her (a taking her 5 dollar reward).

Gomez 03 Jan 2008

I recently found and returned an iPod Touch, the owner was very appreciative and gave me a iTunes gift card.

The older I get, the more real Karma seems to me.

BUT . . .

This douche-nozzle who lost her phone deserves to have it mailed back to her in pieces along with a note/diagram explaining why.

Andrew, what was that iPhone in a food processor site?

Carl 03 Jan 2008

I recently found and returned an iPod Touch, the owner was very appreciative and gave me a iTunes gift card.

The older I get, the more real Karma seems to me.

BUT . . .

This douche-nozzle who lost her phone deserves to have it mailed back to her in pieces along with a note/diagram explaining why.

Andrew, what was that iPhone in a food processor site?

I'd at least dunk it in the toilet before giving it back.

Carl 03 Jan 2008

Gomez and Jeff, those are beautiful suggestions!

I suspected from experience that she'd lowball the swap, and she did. But the worst I could dream up was scratching a deep line diagonally across the whole surface. How sexy would your phone be then, princess?

jpeg 03 Jan 2008

I feel like I should type this in small font,but, here it goes...

Why can't the reward be the actual doing of a good dead instead of getting a monetary gift.

Nora the good doer 07 Jan 2008

 
 
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