Toxic Toys

Mattel is in trouble for the 3rd time in recent months due to faulty Chinese imports. Apparently a few square inches of Barbie's all-Lead dreamhouse didn't get a 2nd coat.

Green Cone is a "Cool Tool"

Yesterday the Green Cone was featured on Kevin Kelly's Cool Tools site. Cool!

Da Bears Will Punch Yous In Da Mouth, My Friennt.

And for those of you who just can't let go of Da Coatch and 1985...

As always, Carl, you've outdone yourself. My friennt. Carl 726, Tornado -17.

Carl's been busy

Three new designs over at RobotMonkeyPirate!...

Just How Much Truth Can You Stand?

Inspired by this old VD scare film.

Porkchop Sandwiches!

If you don't understand, you're too old. (Or don't get Cartoon Network and don't stay up and watch Adult Swim. Skool Thyself. Headphones!)

Dan Halen

Ain't that just Dwell

Many many years ago, my family met a couple of families from Canada while on vacation. Year after year, our families would see each other over the holidays as we lounged on the beach, the dads camped under a large island pine tree telling lies, drinking beer, reading books and snoring.

Through these relationships, my dad eventually started a small company, Solarcone, to distribute an environmentally-friendly food waste digester called the Green Cone, a product invented by one of his fellow beach loungers. Essentially a super-efficient solar trap, the Green Cone evaporates water content from food and accelerates the breakdown process, resulting in compost.

For years my dad pretty much ran this as a hobby side business. After he died, my sister took over the day-to-day operations and has continued to expand Solarcone's reach, forging new relationships with universities, municipalities and other environmentally-focused businesses. Last year Element (my company) built an online store for her, which (IMHO) has been fairly successful.

Dwell Magazine is featuring the Green Cone in the Dwell Labs section of the October 2006 issue. I haven't seen it yet, but I'll hopefully have a copy in my hands later today.

Congrats, Sarah!

 

UPDATE Wow! Looks fantastic. p. 161.

"Tomorrow the internet will prove me right."

Words to live by. Eternally optimistic that somewhere out there, someone has posted something that proves your point. You hope. If not, just make it up and post it yourself. It's online, it has to be true!

[Hat tip, Scot]

Proudly Selling Out for Andrew

Here I am making good on a dare to wear Andrew's "Still Believing the Lies" shirt at a Nonagon gig. More documentation here.

Burger King Dancing Puppet

It's no subservient chicken, but still a lot of fun. You pick the music and the Burger King hand puppet dances to your song. Will it sell more burgers? You decide.
kick it little King!

Place Head Here

Just in case you ever have an opportunity to meet Zidane, you might want to be prepared.

Why? Why Not?

Buy one of each and wear them Michael Stipe-stylee at your next awards show presenter gig.

This, of course, comes from a classic Simpon's exchange between Lisa and Nelson in "Lisa's Date With Density."

Thanks Carl, for (in this case) drawing what Alex thinks.

Still Believing The Lies

Gomez Special over at RobotMonkeyPirate*! Carl is EN FUEGO, people. Also available in 1" buttons.

*I keed! I keed!...Seriously, I'll send you one...if you wear it on-stage with Nonagon.

Olde Fortran Malt Liquor

Goes Down Smooth!

More Futurama goodness over at RobotMonkeyPirate...

Thanks, as always, to Carl for the Hott Illustrator Action.

Who's the orange guy?

With Prior and Wood starting the year on the DL, Cubs LF Matt Murton may be one of the few bright spots of this early season. He proved late last year he belonged in the bigs, and with an opening day 3-run homer in Cincy, he got 2006 off to a great start.

The story goes that when Murton first walked into the clubhouse, Greg Maddux asked, "Who's the orange guy?" and the nickname stuck.

Matt Murton roster page (Cubs.com)

They all think he's a righteous dude.

In honor of the 20th anniversary of Ferris Bueller's Day Off (Yes, you're that old), RobotMonkeyPirate! wants you to rule the school. Danke schein schön! (Sheesh! Thanks, frau!)

Continue reading "They all think he's a righteous dude." »

Time for an intervention

Need to step away from the Meat'normous sandwiches, my friend? Can't get the monkey off your back? Addicted to stirring up shitstorms in the Middle East? Put down the World of Warcraft guide and step away from the keyboard. It's...

Drink Like A Champion Roethlisberger Today

Deadspin reports on Big Ben, we have the t-shirt.

Steelers or Miami of Ohio versions are available.

RobotMonkeyPirate! (beta release!)

Be the first on your block to rock the brand-spankin' new designs from House of Carl. Jeff has sketched up some pretty cool stuff, and we're doing what anyone with a minimal amount of creativity would do: we're puttin 'em on T-shirts, baby!

All proceeds from the shop go toward the purchase of beer and surfing lessons. And if you ne'erdowells have any designs or ideas for the future, send 'em in and we'll get them made. (Or more accurately, Spreadshirt^* will.) There's lot's more to come. At least that's the fantasy in my head.

Current designs include:

• RobotMonkeyPirate!
  See, it's a robot that LOOKS like a monkey, but he dresses like a pirate...
• Pabst Blue Robot
  Also available in muscle T, for showing off your pythons.
• "whew!" for you squid lovers.
  I have to admit when I first saw this, I thought it was a squid fucking an octopus. Carl assures me this is not the case.
• As well as a few other designs made from Spreadshirt's stock artwork

YAAAR!

^* We're not talkin' some weak-ass Café Press digital printing on crappy tees. Spreadshirt quality is excellent.

Get Out Of My Car!

Watch me. WMV, 2.3MB

(Thanks, Jpeg.)

Epic Advertising

It's a big ad!

Hot, hot titles...

Truth in Advertising

Have you seen the commercial with the cool Samsonite rolly suitcase? It's got this great Bossa Nova song that I would love to have. Since you can find anything on the internet(s) I attempted to look it up. Didn't find the song title I was looking for, but I did find a commercial for the U.S. Navy uses the Godsmack song "Sick of Life". Well chosen, Navy!

props: Cheekychk

He can't vote this year. You can.

via Erica.

Kerry Flip/Flop Ad

This political spot, directed by David Zucker of Kentucky Fried Theater fame, has something painfully absent from most national election ads, a screwball sense of humor (Last election cycle I voted for Bob Coleman mainly because, in a TV ad, he had a baby projectile vomit on him). Now, if only they'd show national campaign ads here in non-battleground Illinois.

The Trojan Games

The Trojan Games website contains material of an adult nature which may offend. You may only enter if you are over 18 and a resident of the UK.

Remember your civil liberties?

Goddamn designers . . . that'll show 'em who's boss.

http://www.cnn.com/2004/US/South/08/21/heckler.fired.ap/index.html

City of Brotherly Love Kicks Off Gay Ad Campaign

Philadelphia, the City of Brotherly Love, has launched the first U.S. television advertising campaign to promote a city as a gay destination, officials said on Wednesday.

The spot emphasizes the city's historic attractions and its friendliness to gay travelers and is part of a three-year, $1 million campaign using the slogan "Philadelphia - Get Your History Straight and Your Nightlife Gay."

Cat Lovers, Beware

Advertising agency Ogilvy & Mather has slipped and accidently released it's viral marketing campaign (that was subsequently rejected) to sell the new Ford Sportka...featuring a sun roof w/ a hunger for cat heads.

Oh Yes Wyoming!

Jerry Seinfeld teams up with The Man of Steel to hawk American Express in an online-only campaign. The usual Seinfeld hilarity ensues, if you're into that sort of thing. No confirmation, but I'm fairly sure that's Puddy doing Superman.

Be sure to sing-a-long...

3D Ads to Put Virtual Beers on Bars

More recently display makers have figured out ways to filter the light before it leaves the display. X3D Technologies takes an off-the-shelf plasma screen, removes the front layer of glass and inserts a grid of red and green filters separated by opaque lines on top of the screen's pixels.

The filters are spaced so that light rays leaving a certain pixel pass through a green filter to get to one eye, but a red filter to get to the other eye. The spacing is based on a measurement of the average distance between a pair of eyes. Software then splits the video to be projected into two slightly different images, one blocked by the red filter, one by the green.

Audacity on top of audacity

Last week Bush tried to further his career with the shameless use of WTC footage in his campaign ads. You'd have to be an evil, stupid ass to exploit the event for personal gain, but...
This week his ads show an anonymous middle-eastern face under the narration ...terrorism is a form of racial profiling." which has for good reason offended middle-eastern Americans, although it should offend anyone who values moderation, reality or progress.

1) The only time conservatives acknowledge racism is when they can say white people are its victim. To right-wing assholes, only white people feel the sting of racism! Other races are just complainers.
2) The Bush team defended the ads saying that the actor is Italian (?). Did the fucking Italians crash planes into the WTC? Did we go to war because the fucking Italians were a threat, with their imaginary "weapons of mass destruction?"

Un-fucking-believable! I can't believe the bait-and-switch arguing style that these people get away with. Bush's most recent speech is 100 percent lies. Josef Goebbels would be proud.

For Sale: Panasonic CQ-DFX572U car stereo/CD/MP3 player

Jeff "Carl" Carlson has been kind enough to list my car stereo overbydere on eBay. So if you know of anyone in the market for something like this, send 'em on over.

More info here.

Brawny, we hardly knew ye.

Continue reading "Brawny, we hardly knew ye." »

Bush in 30 seconds

30 second Creative Commons political ads highlighting some of Dubya's "accomplishments." Good stuff.

via boing boing

Shameless self promotion

Saturday. Renegade Craft Fair. 11am-5pm. Booth 38. YOU WILL BE THERE! You will buy scarves, aprons, and toilet seats covers!

The Flintstones Light Up

The early seasons of the Flinstones were sponsored by Winston. Its not clear whether they intentionally targeted children by inserting ads into the prime time animated series.

Spacious.

1.2 MB QT.

Chris, shame on you for not posting this earlier.

Classic.

via Chris

Radiohead/Hail to the Thief LA promotion

Fake "Pop Idol-esque" recruitment fliers have been seen around LA reading:

Hungry? Sick? Begging for a break? Sweet? Fresh? Would you do anything? We suck young blood? We want sweet meats. 1-866-868-4433

These are actually the lyrics for the song We Suck Young Blood off of Radiohead's upcoming album. The phone number posted (translated to 1-866-tot-hief) will play all the songs off of the album (toll free!).

How To Make A Telemarketer Cry

Or at least pay you $500.

via boing boing

A NINJA ROBOTIC camera mount!

Holy crap! Who doesn't need one of those?

Lunch ended at 2! Not 2:15! Woooo!

I'm showing a lot of self-restraint by NOT adding a "Terry Tate" category. You're welcome.

New Terry Tate spots

A new 30 second spot parodying the Nike Shox streaker ad, and a 3 minute "Draft Day" where Terry gets a teammate.

Git yo servin' ah PAIN CAKE! Whoooo!

Michigan high schooler deputized by Chester Cheetah

Parents reportedly "very proud".

(Note: Fark labels story as "Hero". Hah!)

via fark

Terry Tate: Office Linebacker

It's Terry's World, you just work there, baby!

Thanks to Ryan for reminding me about the best thing about last night's Super Bowl.

"You know you can't bring that weak-ass stuff up in this humpty bumpty! You kill the Joe, you make some mo'!"

Apologies to diamond purchasers

but Mr. Dash is dead fucking on.

"Carve the turkey any way you damn well please." Think about the number of assumptions there. A shrill harpie of a wife, so overbearing that she's prone to criticizing her husband's turkey carving, yet so inept that she can't carve the turkey herself because it's a man's job. A henpecked, spineless cad of a husband, so hapless that he accepts her orders to portion the poultry but then holds onto the resentment of her criticisms of his effort. A relationship so broken and twisted that his purchase of a blood-tainted rock from a monopolist cartel would appease her superficiality enough to get her to relent from her sniping at his performance of a trivial act. And this seems like a bargain because this man is so emotionally worthless that he couldn't just say, "Hey, if you want me to carve the turkey, you should probably be less critical of how I do it."

via svn

Making Chester Cheetah look like a punk-ass bitch

The marketing geniuses at Universal Records have created Rapsnacks, slapping their artists (Nelly, Master P, and Lil Romeo, among others) where they've never bling-blinged before: on snack bags.

Be sure to view the intro

The Advertising Slogan Generator

¥ I Wish They All Could Be House 8 Girls.
¥ Snap! Crackle! House 8!
¥ Built House 8 Tough.
¥ Unzip a House 8.
¥ You Like House 8. House 8 Likes You.
¥ With A Name Like House 8, It Has To Be Good.
¥ Can You Tell House 8 From Butter?

It's a slow day on the internet today.

via The Morning News

DeMoulin Bros Catalog

Back in the good ol' days, a three-wheeled rollicking mustang goat only cost $53. And for an exta 10 bucks you could get a camel body!

Why does this seem like a really twisted cousin of J. Peterman? (And if you're doing any holiday shopping, I'll take 3 of these, please and thank you.)

via coudal

Job Opportunity

I was sure this was the perfect job for a House8 man until I got to the last line of the listing:

Must display maturity level appropriate for closed door fit sessions.

I don't imagine the link will last too long...

Be a dear

and go buy a book, won't you?

When I grow up...

just watch it...

via carlos!

Anyone in the market for a '66 Le Mans that goes like a rocket?

Al Axe needs to sell his toy. Yesterday.

Got any gearhead friends in need of a new ride to blow the doors off Rice Boys? This is the car they're looking for.

Chevy 350 / 350 turbo transmission. 5500 stall converter. 11 second 1/4 miles. No radio, air or heat. Really cool smoky burnouts.

Camper.es

The new Camper site is, aesthetically, a major improvement over their old site. Navigation is (to be kind) a bit convoluted and confusing, but it's the type of site you want to explore, which I think matches with their "The Walking Society" slogan.

However, one minor beef. Where the fuck are the shoes?

Update: Ah. They're in that tiny menu on the main window behind the pop-up.