Harry Dead Stanton : Still Alive

Don't let this photo fool you, the dude is still tramping his way through Hollywood . . . fuckin' amazing!

Spears' Infant Son Fathers Child While in Rehab

Owen Wilson attempts suicide after watching "You, Me and Dupree".

Someone explain John Travolta to me

Is he gay?
Is he a cult member?
Is he talented?
Has he made toupees and beer-guts fashionable?

Really, I'd like to know.

Maybe they put her down?

Ya know, like Barbaro?

Lilly Munster - RIP

Lost Someone

God must be throwing one hell of a birthday party for baby Jeebus today, with a new main attraction.

God bless, Brother James.

At all of the nightclubs that I played records at, with all of the different styles of music played at each, there was one common favorite. James Brown clearly transcended all musical genres.

How one convalescing Vegas magician celebrates Oktoberfest...

I for one am happy that Roy is back in beer swillin' shape. Take that, Montecore! (Thanks, Zena)

I see dead people... with a lot of hair

Haley Joel Osment, perhaps hairier than you recall, wrecked his Saturn. Poor guy, he's destined to look like a doughy seven year old, late into adulthood.
He kind of resembles Lisa Marie Presley, only more feminine; Is that a blouse?

Humor (short program)

Imagine a conversation between bjork, husband & perfomance artist matthew barney (below) and an ikea operator... I wonder what that would be like.

I'm camping out for tickets NOW!!!

Continue reading "I'm camping out for tickets NOW!!!" »

RIP Mr. Miyagi

Forever Our Sensei

before Stone Cold, before The Rock, there was The Crusher...

One of wrestling's greatest has gone to the big mat in the sky. Nothing compares to a Sunday afternoon watching the likes of the Crusher, Dick the Bruiser, or Baron Von Raschke on Channel 44. "it seemed to the fans that the more he bled, the stronger he got." Long live the Crusher.

Insert Disney Cliché Headline here

When I first read the article in this month's Wired about aSmallWorld, I thought it was either a joke or just an essay, not a piece of journalism. That's not meant to be a slam on Ms. Jardin's writing skills; I just didn't think it was real.

As much as they probably want you to think, Damn! How do I get access to this biyatch? the first thing that crossed my mind when I hit the home page was, This is supposed to be the portal to every single hip, rich person of influence in the world, and their web site sucks. What's up with the blurry graphics?

America's Most Patriotic Squirrel

"Sugar Bush Squirrel is 'The Military Mascot' and a 'Superhero' to our troops everywhere.  She is working to keep our country free while helping to free Iraq. Sugar Bush Squirrel is boosting the morale of our military troops around the world by posing for humorous photos in military clothing with guns, tanks, planes and helicopters while wearing helmets, camouflage caps and a turban.  Watch for more of her military shots in the near future as they shoot around the globe for freedom!!!"

Did you know?

Random fact generator about hollywood's finest, Mr. Vin Diesel. Pretty funny stuff.

...and now a random fact about Vin Diesel:

Vin Diesel's skull is actually made of the powder of ground up bones from the Jabberwock.

Vin Diesel once impregnated me with a stare, then caused me to give birth to a fully grown baby afterwards just by winking at me, then turned the baby into a fully grown man and gave him superpowers just by shaking my hand. This man is better known as Brian Blessed.

The Ebola virus never actually existed. That's just what happens to your body naturally after Vin Diesel socks you good in the breadbasket.

Be Your Own Tabloid Writer

This is fun- design your own tabloid!

http://www.togawp.com/main/2005/04/nick_and_jessic.html

DanzaGate

This is old news, and I don't care.

(In convenient Buddy Icon size)

Thank you, Chris.

When Chimps Attack II

Fred Durst shows you his 'O' face (WARNING: Spyware-laden link. Proceed at your own risk. Thanks, Nora).

WARNING: NSFW. Actually, not safe for anyone with the gift of sight.

More
everywhere
else.

Hey Patrick. Go Fuck Yourself. Love Rob

Actor Rob Schneider smacks down a critic with a full page in the LA Times.

The offending article

Warning, that's a login site, use BugMeNot to get in...

Missed opportunities

Just a cautionary tale for anyone who flies with any frequency - so I was coming home to NYC after being in LA for Celebutante Smackdown 2004, and just as I'm going through the first security checkpoint, the guard stops me because I have three carryons (rollaboard, small messenger bag, purse) instead of two. Seriously, it was NOT a big deal. The messenger bag was not that big, and this is the same set of luggage I always travel with. Plus, I was going through a Premier member checkpoint, so it's like, cut your best customers a little slack, kimosabe! The guy makes me sit on the floor and consolidate my messenger bag into my rollaboard, which was pretty humiliating to do in public. So I'm sitting on the floor with dirty panties literally hanging off me when fucking William Shatner and his wife come through the checkpoint with even more luggage than I had! And the guard is not only kissing his ass, he's also gently tonguing it! He's all, "We're very happy to beam you to your destination today, Mr. Shatner!" And why, WHY did I not call him out on the additional luggage? I need to work on being a bigger bitter bitch.

(P.S. I sat next to this really awesome guy in Business when Shat, who insisted on wearing sunglasses to disguise his awesome celebrity until he got onto the plane, was in First, and every time we went to the loo, which was between Business and First, we'd be all, "::cough cough:: tribble ::cough cough:: Scotty." I would have left the guy in peace if not for the luggage thing. He didn't play ball. Whatever.)

R&B Roadkill

The ladies don't miss a beat!

Zena Makes Page Six!

I couldn't be more proud. My high school best friend and fellow House8 Member got beat up by an out-of-control wasted Bijou Phllips this weekend at the Teen People post-AMA party in L.A. The good news is, she's recovering nicely from BijouGate. The even better news is she made Page Six. Thanks for inviting me, Z!

Burns It Up on Page Six

Zena Gets Slapped By Bijou Phillips!!!!!!

Only in America

Indiana Pacers forward Ron Artest said Wednesday that he asked coach Rick Carlisle for time off because of a busy schedule that included promoting a soon-to-be released rap album, which led to his two-game benching.

w.t.f.

Wonder if we could get feedback from the TOG...

via cnn

"Sing along" with Apple and Ashlee

Okay, so this scandal is 72 hours old. It's still funny!

via Old Fart Chris

Dangerfield dead at 82

"When I die I'm gonna donate my body to science fiction!"

He was 82.

Jebus's latest pimp: Facts of Life's lovable Lisa Whelchel

"I am so happy for you, my new sister or brother. I would love to be the first person with whom you share this happy news. The form below is provided for you to do just that. Please don't feel obligated, but if you don't tell me, tell someone. This is too good to keep to yourself! I'm looking forward to spending eternity with you.

Blessings,
Lisa"

Via Swirlspice

Celeb GOP-ers

Ever wondered what celebs are going to show up at the GOP blow fest? Instead of The Black Eyed Peas -Leo DiCaprio and P.Diddy- here is a list of who is expected to be supporting Mr. Bush next week.

· Adam Sandler
· Freddie Prinze Junior
· Jessica Simpson
· Shannen Doherty
· Bruce Willis
· Tom Selleck
· Dennis Franz
· Lara Flynn Boyle
· Don King
· The Rock
· Vincent Gallo
· Mark Wahlberg
· Gene Simmons
· Carlos Santana

I'm Rick James, bitch!

And I'm dead.

The Horror...

Marlon Brando is dead.

There is probably no bigger example of squandered talent in Hollywood. A few years back, he released his own junky bio to draw attention away from Peter Manso's huge, unflattering piece of research about him, in which it was disclosed:
- He probably molested his daughter, Cheyenne, who killed herself in 1995
- He loaned his bodyguard to Michael Jackson during his molestation case
- Was probably into pedophilia himself
- Bought an island in Tahiti to conceal his odd sexual acts & because he could be an unchecked control freak there
- Played master thespian as a creepy witness at the murder trial of his son
He was incredibly talented early on, but became a sociopath as he failed to resist each new self-indulgence presented to him.

I admired him till I read this book.
Brando was a talented actor and a loathsome human being.

Knight Rider gets a DUI

link

Insert irony here.

Hah hah!

An ad for a TV interview about the Beckham sex scandal was displayed during a Real Madrid game.

via fark

"I'm ready for my close-up."

Can you imagine the audition for this!

http://chicago.craigslist.org/tfr/29234182.html

Richard Simmons Cited for Slapping Fighter

PHOENIX (Reuters) - Flamboyant fitness guru Richard Simmons was cited by authorities for allegedly slapping a man in an airport who was poking fun at his exercise videos, police said on Thursday.

Simmons, 55, known for his tank tops and outrageous manner, was ticketed for misdemeanor assault after allegedly striking the man across the face while in line at Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport on Wednesday night, police said.

"He apparently said 'Hey everybody, it's Richard Simmons, let's drop our bags and rock to the '50s,"' said Sgt. Lauri Williams, a reference to a series of his well-known videos. "Mr. Simmons took offense and said he had to 'bitch slap' him."

The man, whose name was not immediately available, told police that he wanted to press charges against Simmons, who was cited and allowed to board a plane to Las Vegas.

from: http://www.reuters.com

Malpractice

Remember this diagnosis:

"I called the doctor on the telephone
Said Doctor, Doctor, please
I got this feeling
rocking and a'reeling
tell me, what can it be, is it some new disease?

They call it Boogie fever
You got to boogie down
Boogie fever, I think it's going around"

Well, apparently, it was really lung cancer.

Malpractice

Remember this diagnosis:

"I called the doctor on the telephone
Said Doctor, Doctor, please
I got this feeling
rocking and a'reeling
tell me, what can it be, is it some new disease?

They call it Boogie fever
You got to boogie down
Boogie fever, I think it's going around"

Well, apparently, it was really lung cancer.

Donna Martin Registers!

Zena and I are going in to get her the $2800 menorah.

The List

Some knucklehead at AP accidently sent out their internal phone list of public figures. Wanna call OJ? He's on it.

There's some dead people and some wrong numbers, but I hear alot of them are still working.

And if phone pimping a celebrity doesn't float your boat, maybe seeing some Iraqi insurgents get fried does. The guy on the left is apparently unwrapping missle... story here from ABCNews

The Husband

Brittany Britney got hitched!

She married some 22-year-old nobody from Louisiana. In true white trash style, the bride wore jeans and baseball cap and had a hotel bellman walk her down the aisle.

I'm picturing a beautiful Spring divorce.

FOUND!

Danny Wood of NKTOB is the third member to release an album.

Okay so we've got Joey, Jordan, and now Danny recording...... Donnie (my fave) is acting (Dreamcatchers & The Sixth Sense) Where the FREAK is Jonathan! I'm trying to organize a reunion tour here, people!

Continue reading "FOUND!" »

I pity da fool dat eats off mah jewelry!

For some reason, this is news. Personally, I think it's a shameless ploy for the Tribune to publish this photo. I mean, WTF is going on there? Is that a serving platter?

Michael Jackson outraged by own actions???

I was listening to NPR this morning and they were quoting Michael Jackson's lawyer, Mark Geragos, as saying "(Michael) considers this to be a big lie. He understands the people who are outraged, because if these charges were true, I can assure you that Michael would be the first to be outraged." Huh? How does that work? Here's an article from CourtTV.

Blaine Plans Dive of Death

This time he's jumping out of a helicopter into water...

Relevant story quote:
Speaking on CNN's Larry King Live, he said there would be no parachute and "no dummy either - it will actually be me".

--- snip ---

Blaine also told how he broke a ban on sex after his starvation stunt.

Doctors had warned him the exertion could kill him because of his weak state.

But he defied their demands with his girlfriend, model Manon von Gerkan.

Because his heart was still attached to a monitor at the time, doctors and nurses rushed into the room when his pulse started racing, thinking he was having a seizure.

--- end snip ----

Diddy Ran The City

If I wasn't already, I am now officially on the Diddy bandwagon. Making The Band II and makin those snot-nosed lil punks walk to Brooklyn for cheesecake? Running a friggin' marathon with a bum knee? Raising TWO mil? Diddy for President.

Best part of the warm-and-fuzzy MTV PR/Documentary? P. Diddy coloring in the giant fundraising thermometer and yelling for someone to come in and "fill in the white parts because my arm is tired." Hah hah!

Bri-diot: n.

1. Britney Spears
2. A person as dumb as, or temporarily displaying the lack of mental capacity of, Britney Spears.

(We all have Pazen to thank. Inspired by many things, if not most recently, by her interview in Newsweek.)

Governor Schwarzenegger

Mike Y.: "Well, I guess we get what we ask for. I hope he does something to stop the cyborgs."

(I get bonus points for spelling "Schwarzenegger" correctly without peeking.)

Blaine Blaine, Go Away

The interest in David Blaine remains largely unexplained.

This article claims his 'people' are in a panic.

< yawn >

"TWO LOVELY LADIES..."

Believe it or not: I was one of them. It may not be Time Magazine...but it's something!

Actor John Ritter Dead

John Ritter, whose portrayal of the bumbling but lovable Jack Tripper helped make the madcap comedy series "Three's Company" a smash hit in the 1970s, has died, his publicist and longtime assistant said Friday. He was 54.

Ritter fell ill Thursday on the set of his ABC sitcom "8 Simple Rules ... For Dating My Teenage Daughter," said Susan Wilcox, his assistant of 22 years. The cause of death was a dissection of the aorta, the result of an unrecognized flaw in his heart, said his publicist, Lisa Kasteler.

via Drudge