House 8 is no longer active, at least here. We're over here now.

 

 

17 Feb 2009

 
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Things Mel GIbson regrets, Part 2

When not disparaging Jews, Mel Gibson likes to do other regrettable things.
Nothing boosts your stock price like gray chin sprouts.

El Diablo..no?

mel-gibsons-beard-4839-1234802315-4.jpg


 
 

02 Sep 2008

 
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10-4, Dead Buddy!

JerryReed.jpg

Singer, actor and Smokey irritant Jerry Reed has passed away.

His film legacy and guest shot on Scooby Doo will live on.



 
 

27 May 2008

 
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Harry Dead Stanton : Still Alive

wb%2Bhds.jpg

Don't let this photo fool you, the dude is still tramping his way through Hollywood . . . fuckin' amazing!


 
 

20 Dec 2007

 
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Spears' Infant Son Fathers Child While in Rehab

britneybabymistakes.jpg



 
 

29 Aug 2007

 
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Owen Wilson attempts suicide after watching "You, Me and Dupree".

owenwilson_wideweb__470x295%2C2.jpg


 
 

20 Jul 2007

 
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Someone explain John Travolta to me

travolta.bmp

Is he gay?
Is he a cult member?
Is he talented?
Has he made toupees and beer-guts fashionable?

Really, I'd like to know.


 
 

09 Feb 2007

 
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Maybe they put her down?

Ya know, like Barbaro?

Whhiiiiiiinnnnyyyyy!


 
 

10 Jan 2007

 
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Lilly Munster - RIP


 
 

25 Dec 2006

 
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Lost Someone

God must be throwing one hell of a birthday party for baby Jeebus today, with a new main attraction.

God bless, Brother James.

At all of the nightclubs that I played records at, with all of the different styles of music played at each, there was one common favorite. James Brown clearly transcended all musical genres.


 
 

18 Sep 2006

 
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How one convalescing Vegas magician celebrates Oktoberfest...

I for one am happy that Roy is back in beer swillin' shape. Take that, Montecore! (Thanks, Zena)


 
 

20 Jul 2006

 
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I see dead people... with a lot of hair

compare_me.jpg

Haley Joel Osment, perhaps hairier than you recall, wrecked his Saturn. Poor guy, he's destined to look like a doughy seven year old, late into adulthood.
He kind of resembles Lisa Marie Presley, only more feminine; Is that a blouse?


 
 

08 Jun 2006

 
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Humor (short program)

Imagine a conversation between bjork, husband & perfomance artist matthew barney (below) and an ikea operator... I wonder what that would be like.


 
 

11 May 2006

 
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I'm camping out for tickets NOW!!!

reilly_thumb.gif

Continue reading "I'm camping out for tickets NOW!!!" »


 
 

25 Nov 2005

 
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RIP Mr. Miyagi

Forever Our Sensei


 
 

25 Oct 2005

 
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before Stone Cold, before The Rock, there was The Crusher...


One of wrestling's greatest has gone to the big mat in the sky. Nothing compares to a Sunday afternoon watching the likes of the Crusher, Dick the Bruiser, or Baron Von Raschke on Channel 44. "it seemed to the fans that the more he bled, the stronger he got." Long live the Crusher.


 
 

11 Aug 2005

 
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Insert Disney Cliché Headline here

When I first read the article in this month's Wired about aSmallWorld, I thought it was either a joke or just an essay, not a piece of journalism. That's not meant to be a slam on Ms. Jardin's writing skills; I just didn't think it was real.

As much as they probably want you to think, Damn! How do I get access to this biyatch? the first thing that crossed my mind when I hit the home page was, This is supposed to be the portal to every single hip, rich person of influence in the world, and their web site sucks. What's up with the blurry graphics?


 
 

10 May 2005

 
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America's Most Patriotic Squirrel

"Sugar Bush Squirrel is 'The Military Mascot' and a 'Superhero' to our troops everywhere.  She is working to keep our country free while helping to free Iraq. Sugar Bush Squirrel is boosting the morale of our military troops around the world by posing for humorous photos in military clothing with guns, tanks, planes and helicopters while wearing helmets, camouflage caps and a turban.  Watch for more of her military shots in the near future as they shoot around the globe for freedom!!!"


 
 

26 Apr 2005

 
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Did you know?

Random fact generator about hollywood's finest, Mr. Vin Diesel. Pretty funny stuff.

...and now a random fact about Vin Diesel:

Vin Diesel's skull is actually made of the powder of ground up bones from the Jabberwock.

Vin Diesel once impregnated me with a stare, then caused me to give birth to a fully grown baby afterwards just by winking at me, then turned the baby into a fully grown man and gave him superpowers just by shaking my hand. This man is better known as Brian Blessed.

The Ebola virus never actually existed. That's just what happens to your body naturally after Vin Diesel socks you good in the breadbasket.


 
 

07 Apr 2005

 
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Be Your Own Tabloid Writer

This is fun- design your own tabloid!

http://www.togawp.com/main/2005/04/nick_and_jessic.html


 
 

05 Mar 2005

 
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DanzaGate

This is old news, and I don't care.

Aaaaaaaaaaannnnngelllllllllaaaaaaaa!
(In convenient Buddy Icon size)

Thank you, Chris.


 
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When Chimps Attack II

Fred Durst shows you his 'O' face (WARNING: Spyware-laden link. Proceed at your own risk. Thanks, Nora).

WARNING: NSFW. Actually, not safe for anyone with the gift of sight.

More
everywhere
else.


 
 

04 Feb 2005

 
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Hey Patrick. Go Fuck Yourself. Love Rob

Actor Rob Schneider smacks down a critic with a full page in the LA Times.

The offending article

Warning, that's a login site, use BugMeNot to get in...


 
 

22 Nov 2004

 
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Missed opportunities

Just a cautionary tale for anyone who flies with any frequency - so I was coming home to NYC after being in LA for Celebutante Smackdown 2004, and just as I'm going through the first security checkpoint, the guard stops me because I have three carryons (rollaboard, small messenger bag, purse) instead of two. Seriously, it was NOT a big deal. The messenger bag was not that big, and this is the same set of luggage I always travel with. Plus, I was going through a Premier member checkpoint, so it's like, cut your best customers a little slack, kimosabe! The guy makes me sit on the floor and consolidate my messenger bag into my rollaboard, which was pretty humiliating to do in public. So I'm sitting on the floor with dirty panties literally hanging off me when fucking William Shatner and his wife come through the checkpoint with even more luggage than I had! And the guard is not only kissing his ass, he's also gently tonguing it! He's all, "We're very happy to beam you to your destination today, Mr. Shatner!" And why, WHY did I not call him out on the additional luggage? I need to work on being a bigger bitter bitch.

(P.S. I sat next to this really awesome guy in Business when Shat, who insisted on wearing sunglasses to disguise his awesome celebrity until he got onto the plane, was in First, and every time we went to the loo, which was between Business and First, we'd be all, "::cough cough:: tribble ::cough cough:: Scotty." I would have left the guy in peace if not for the luggage thing. He didn't play ball. Whatever.)


 
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R&B Roadkill

The ladies don't miss a beat!


 
 

16 Nov 2004

 
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Zena Makes Page Six!

I couldn't be more proud. My high school best friend and fellow House8 Member got beat up by an out-of-control wasted Bijou Phllips this weekend at the Teen People post-AMA party in L.A. The good news is, she's recovering nicely from BijouGate. The even better news is she made Page Six. Thanks for inviting me, Z!
bijou_page6_sm.jpg


 
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Burns It Up on Page Six

Zena Gets Slapped By Bijou Phillips!!!!!!


 
 

10 Nov 2004

 
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Only in America

Indiana Pacers forward Ron Artest said Wednesday that he asked coach Rick Carlisle for time off because of a busy schedule that included promoting a soon-to-be released rap album, which led to his two-game benching.

w.t.f.

Wonder if we could get feedback from the TOG...

via cnn


 
 

27 Oct 2004

 
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"Sing along" with Apple and Ashlee

Okay, so this scandal is 72 hours old. It's still funny!

via Old Fart Chris


 
 

05 Oct 2004

 
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Dangerfield dead at 82

"When I die I'm gonna donate my body to science fiction!"

He was 82.


 
 

31 Aug 2004

 
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Jebus's latest pimp: Facts of Life's lovable Lisa Whelchel

"I am so happy for you, my new sister or brother. I would love to be the first person with whom you share this happy news. The form below is provided for you to do just that. Please don't feel obligated, but if you don't tell me, tell someone. This is too good to keep to yourself! I'm looking forward to spending eternity with you.

Blessings,
Lisa"

Via Swirlspice


 
 

25 Aug 2004

 
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Celeb GOP-ers

Ever wondered what celebs are going to show up at the GOP blow fest? Instead of The Black Eyed Peas -Leo DiCaprio and P.Diddy- here is a list of who is expected to be supporting Mr. Bush next week.

· Adam Sandler
· Freddie Prinze Junior
· Jessica Simpson
· Shannen Doherty
· Bruce Willis
· Tom Selleck
· Dennis Franz
· Lara Flynn Boyle
· Don King
· The Rock
· Vincent Gallo
· Mark Wahlberg
· Gene Simmons
· Carlos Santana


 
 

06 Aug 2004

 
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I'm Rick James, bitch!

And I'm dead.


 
 

02 Jul 2004

 
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The Horror...

Marlon Brando is dead.

There is probably no bigger example of squandered talent in Hollywood. A few years back, he released his own junky bio to draw attention away from Peter Manso's huge, unflattering piece of research about him, in which it was disclosed:
- He probably molested his daughter, Cheyenne, who killed herself in 1995
- He loaned his bodyguard to Michael Jackson during his molestation case
- Was probably into pedophilia himself
- Bought an island in Tahiti to conceal his odd sexual acts & because he could be an unchecked control freak there
- Played master thespian as a creepy witness at the murder trial of his son
He was incredibly talented early on, but became a sociopath as he failed to resist each new self-indulgence presented to him.

I admired him till I read this book.
Brando was a talented actor and a loathsome human being.


 
 

07 Jun 2004

 
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Knight Rider gets a DUI

link

Insert irony here.


 
 

27 Apr 2004

 
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Hah hah!

An ad for a TV interview about the Beckham sex scandal was displayed during a Real Madrid game.

via fark


 
 

20 Apr 2004

 
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"I'm ready for my close-up."

Can you imagine the audition for this!

http://chicago.craigslist.org/tfr/29234182.html


 
 

25 Mar 2004

 
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Richard Simmons Cited for Slapping Fighter

PHOENIX (Reuters) - Flamboyant fitness guru Richard Simmons was cited by authorities for allegedly slapping a man in an airport who was poking fun at his exercise videos, police said on Thursday.

Simmons, 55, known for his tank tops and outrageous manner, was ticketed for misdemeanor assault after allegedly striking the man across the face while in line at Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport on Wednesday night, police said.

"He apparently said 'Hey everybody, it's Richard Simmons, let's drop our bags and rock to the '50s,"' said Sgt. Lauri Williams, a reference to a series of his well-known videos. "Mr. Simmons took offense and said he had to 'bitch slap' him."

The man, whose name was not immediately available, told police that he wanted to press charges against Simmons, who was cited and allowed to board a plane to Las Vegas.

from: http://www.reuters.com


 
 

16 Mar 2004

 
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Malpractice

Remember this diagnosis:

"I called the doctor on the telephone
Said Doctor, Doctor, please
I got this feeling
rocking and a'reeling
tell me, what can it be, is it some new disease?

They call it Boogie fever
You got to boogie down
Boogie fever, I think it's going around"

Well, apparently, it was really lung cancer.


 
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Malpractice

Remember this diagnosis:

"I called the doctor on the telephone
Said Doctor, Doctor, please
I got this feeling
rocking and a'reeling
tell me, what can it be, is it some new disease?

They call it Boogie fever
You got to boogie down
Boogie fever, I think it's going around"

Well, apparently, it was really lung cancer.


 
 

16 Feb 2004

 
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Donna Martin Registers!

Zena and I are going in to get her the $2800 menorah.


 
 

10 Jan 2004

 
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The List

Some knucklehead at AP accidently sent out their internal phone list of public figures. Wanna call OJ? He's on it.

There's some dead people and some wrong numbers, but I hear alot of them are still working.

And if phone pimping a celebrity doesn't float your boat, maybe seeing some Iraqi insurgents get fried does. The guy on the left is apparently unwrapping missle... story here from ABCNews


 
 

05 Jan 2004

 
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The Husband


 
 

04 Jan 2004

 
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Brittany Britney got hitched!

She married some 22-year-old nobody from Louisiana. In true white trash style, the bride wore jeans and baseball cap and had a hotel bellman walk her down the aisle.

I'm picturing a beautiful Spring divorce.


 
 

29 Dec 2003

 
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FOUND!

Danny Wood of NKTOB is the third member to release an album.

Okay so we've got Joey, Jordan, and now Danny recording...... Donnie (my fave) is acting (Dreamcatchers & The Sixth Sense) Where the FREAK is Jonathan! I'm trying to organize a reunion tour here, people!

Continue reading "FOUND!" »


 
 

02 Dec 2003

 
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I pity da fool dat eats off mah jewelry!

For some reason, this is news. Personally, I think it's a shameless ploy for the Tribune to publish this photo. I mean, WTF is going on there? Is that a serving platter?


 
 

22 Nov 2003

 
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Michael Jackson outraged by own actions???

I was listening to NPR this morning and they were quoting Michael Jackson's lawyer, Mark Geragos, as saying "(Michael) considers this to be a big lie. He understands the people who are outraged, because if these charges were true, I can assure you that Michael would be the first to be outraged." Huh? How does that work? Here's an article from CourtTV.


 
 

07 Nov 2003

 
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Blaine Plans Dive of Death

This time he's jumping out of a helicopter into water...

Relevant story quote:
Speaking on CNN's Larry King Live, he said there would be no parachute and "no dummy either - it will actually be me".

--- snip ---


Blaine also told how he broke a ban on sex after his starvation stunt.

Doctors had warned him the exertion could kill him because of his weak state.

But he defied their demands with his girlfriend, model Manon von Gerkan.

Because his heart was still attached to a monitor at the time, doctors and nurses rushed into the room when his pulse started racing, thinking he was having a seizure.

--- end snip ----


 
 

03 Nov 2003

 
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Diddy Ran The City

If I wasn't already, I am now officially on the Diddy bandwagon. Making The Band II and makin those snot-nosed lil punks walk to Brooklyn for cheesecake? Running a friggin' marathon with a bum knee? Raising TWO mil? Diddy for President.

Best part of the warm-and-fuzzy MTV PR/Documentary? P. Diddy coloring in the giant fundraising thermometer and yelling for someone to come in and "fill in the white parts because my arm is tired." Hah hah!


 
 

27 Oct 2003

 
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Bri-diot: n.

1. Britney Spears
2. A person as dumb as, or temporarily displaying the lack of mental capacity of, Britney Spears.

(We all have Pazen to thank. Inspired by many things, if not most recently, by her interview in Newsweek.)


 
 

08 Oct 2003

 
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Governor Schwarzenegger

Mike Y.: "Well, I guess we get what we ask for. I hope he does something to stop the cyborgs."

(I get bonus points for spelling "Schwarzenegger" correctly without peeking.)


 
 

22 Sep 2003

 
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Blaine Blaine, Go Away

The interest in David Blaine remains largely unexplained.

This article claims his 'people' are in a panic.


< yawn >


 
 

19 Sep 2003

 
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"TWO LOVELY LADIES..."

Believe it or not: I was one of them. It may not be Time Magazine...but it's something!


 
 

12 Sep 2003

 
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Actor John Ritter Dead

John Ritter, whose portrayal of the bumbling but lovable Jack Tripper helped make the madcap comedy series "Three's Company" a smash hit in the 1970s, has died, his publicist and longtime assistant said Friday. He was 54.

Ritter fell ill Thursday on the set of his ABC sitcom "8 Simple Rules ... For Dating My Teenage Daughter," said Susan Wilcox, his assistant of 22 years. The cause of death was a dissection of the aorta, the result of an unrecognized flaw in his heart, said his publicist, Lisa Kasteler.

via Drudge


 
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Johnny Cash: The Man Came Around

'Till armageddon no shalam no shalom Then the father-hen will call his chickens home The wise men will bow down before the throne And at his feet they'll cast their golden crowns When the Man comes around

Actor John Ritter Dies Too


 
 

14 Aug 2003

 
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Hollywood is Calling

For only $19.99, you can have a "celebrity" call you or a friend and leave a 15 second message. Or pony up extra $10 and get a customized 30 second message.


 
 

11 Aug 2003

 
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More Recall Nonsense: Gary Coleman Campaign Stuff

Personally I think recalling Gray Davis after 8 months in office is just plain dumb. But, if they're gonna do it, I hope they elect Gary Coleman:


"Hello there, this is Gary Coleman, It is 3:30 on Friday. I'm stuck in Friday traffic in my car, getting ready to pull out my hair. But maybe this is something I can fix as governor. ... I am probably the most unqualified person to run for governor, but I'm willing to do it as a goof if you are. But then I need to know something: Whose ass do I kick if I actually win? Because that means I'm gonna have to move up to Sacramento -- the armpit of California -- and administer this state back to some kind of solvency."


 
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Open Letter to Gary Coleman

Talk about getting more than you bargained for:
The loss of Diff'rent Strokes left a hole in my heart that will never be repaired. I tried, oh god, I tried. I've watched every one of Todd Bridges' talk show appearances, I've rented every one of Dana Plato's porno movies, and while the porno movies are enjoyable, they don't compare to you, Todd, and Dana working together, on Diff'rent Strokes.


 
 

31 Jul 2003

 
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Rockin' jimmy hat

Hey white trash America, get ready for the Aerosmith/KISS tour with all the essential licensed merch! And don't forget the
$250 hotsauce!


 
 

30 Jun 2003

 
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The Brits Are Trash-talkin' Brit


 
 

13 Jun 2003

 
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Fired Workers Attack Boss With Spears

Fired workers from a local Volvo dealership in Indonesia attacked their Swedish boss with spears after negotiations over severance pay went awry, police said Friday.

In other Spears news... Britney gets blow-up boobs...

 
 

02 Jun 2003

 
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More Than You Want to Know About Ricky Martin

Sometimes he forgets to wear underwear.

Yawn.


 
 

28 May 2003

 
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Keanu, Good Guy

Keanu shares the wealth with the production people who made the movie so cool.

This on top of the Harley motorcycles he bought for the stunt people, not to mention the money he's given to leukemia research on his sister's behalf.

Rock on, Keanu. It's nice to see someone value the people who help them be great.


 
 

16 May 2003

 
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I Stalked Carrot Top

He wormed his way into my brain, so I vowed to get into his soul--if there was one.


 
 

13 May 2003

 
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Gates and Brokaw blow off $6 coffee tab

Therefore, as a service for potential victims of very rich people pretending to be normal people doing normal things in real places, we offer the following suggestions. Make a quick assessment of the coherence and competence of the entourage(s). You're looking for a harrassed but authoritative-looking person, possibly with a clipboard, barking orders - she (it quite frequently is she) may well order someone to give you $50 in order to get rid of you. In the case of the particular Watertown incident our guess is that the Gates entourage probably was not the one to approach; we've noted that Microsoft entourages, though frequently quite large, tend toward the uncoordinated.

via scripting news


 
 

10 May 2003

 
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Eminem Bars 'Weird Al' Parody Video

"It's an important personal piece of music for him, a piece of art," spokesman Dennis Dennehy said Friday. "He doesn't mind him doing the song, (but) he didn't want to change kids' visual perception on what that image was. He wanted to make sure the image would remain intact."


Eminem, you're fourteen minutes and forty five seconds in. Anything else you wanna do before fifteen?


 
 

09 May 2003

 
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Your Name Will Make a Deep Impression on a Comet


Pasadena's Jet Propulsion Laboratory and NASA plan to send a satellite to crash into a comet in 2005 and aboard the craft will be a CD with the names of perhaps thousands of Earthlings.

Deep Impact will be the first mission to make a spectacular, football-stadium-sized crater, seven to 15 stories deep, into the speeding comet.

If you'd like your name on the CD, submit it here.

You get a nifty certificate too...


 
 

07 May 2003

 
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Poor William Shatner

First, his cover of "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds" is voted worst ever.

Now his ex-wife is unhappy with the frozen horse semen.


 
 

25 Apr 2003

 
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German kids are whining for it!

Perfectly detailed, right down to the pulled up sleeves and groin bulge on the Michael Knight figure.


 
 

12 Mar 2003

 
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What's $8 Billion, Between Friends?

Does Don Johnson have the smuggler's blues, caught with $8 billion (yes, billion) by German police?

Then again, that's chump change. Try getting caught with Two Trillion Dollars...


 
 

10 Mar 2003

 
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That's The Spirit, Di

She's apparently broken her self-imposed silence (you know, the one she began when she died...)


 
 

05 Mar 2003

 
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Hoosiers disturbed by Screech

Sweet!

via obscure store


 
 

04 Mar 2003

 
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Wacko Jacko resorts to VOODOO

Embattled pop star Michael Jackson wears a prosthetic nose and once paid $150,000 for a Òvoodoo curseÓ to kill director Steven Spielberg!!


 
 

27 Feb 2003

 
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Sad day in neighborhood: Beloved Mister Rogers dies

Fred Rogers, who gently invited millions of children to be his neighbor as host of the public television show "Mister Rogers' Neighborhood" for more than 30 years, died of cancer early Thursday. He was 74.

------------------

Forgive me, Fred, if I don't want to be your neighbor now that you're dead.


 
 

19 Feb 2003

 
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Bruuuuuucccccce!

The Smoking Gun presents Bruce Springsteen and the E-Street Band's tour rider, including "...sax player Clarence Clemons's need for a whole roasted chicken to be delivered, mid-concert, to his dressing room..."

Get comfy for this one: it's eight pages long.

via fark


 
 

08 Feb 2003

 
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Original Complaint Against Michael Jackson


Put on your creepout suit...


 
 

07 Feb 2003

 
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The Michael Jackson Castrati Theory

I think Ariel's aunt is onto something...


 
 

28 Jan 2003

 
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I sing with my face, not with my ass...Oh, I mean the other way around.

This little item had top listing on Netscape's home page this morning. Even Hans Blix wears them!


 
 

20 Jan 2003

 
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Al Hirschfield Dies


Al Hirschfeld, whose graceful, fluid caricatures captured the essence of performers from Charlie Chaplin to Jerry Seinfeld, died Monday. He was 99.




 
 

16 Jan 2003

 
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More Than You Ever Wanted to Know About a Dead BeeGee

For the record:

veráruácose (v-rks) also veráruácous (-ks)
adj.

Covered with warts or wartlike projections.

via The Smoking Gun


 
 

15 Jan 2003

 
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Make it disappear!


 
 

13 Jan 2003

 
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Pete Townshend arrested on child porn charges

The Peanut Gallery speaks:

John: "He couldn't hear the cops coming."

Pazen: "I guess the kids aren't alright."

via k-luv


 
 

06 Jan 2003

 
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I love my job.

And no, I'm not making this up.


 
 

18 Dec 2002

 
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gash or tash?

Brits have funny slang.

Look at the picture and click the circles to decide if its a 'gash' or 'tash'.

via milk and cookies


 
 

17 Dec 2002

 
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Hizzouse is shizzy, not so nizzy, so g'bizzy, fizzy?

More signs of the sagging economy. This landmark whitetrash junkheap didn't even fetch $120 grand? Get me my bitch Greenspan on the cell! He got some splainin' to do!!!


 
 

12 Dec 2002

 
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Congratulations Tim

We are all so, so proud.

Marty Allen with a parrot on his head.

 
 

10 Dec 2002

 
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Courtney? Man, is She Pissed...

Speaking of hooker bitches and blow...


 
 

02 Dec 2002

 
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We get paid for this.

Britney's extra special 21st birthday Website, designed by Pazen and built by Andrew. Go ahead, tell her what you think.


 
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Dead or Alive?


 
 

21 Nov 2002

 
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Andrew owes me $5

I told you Ruth Stone would win the National Book Award for Poetry! A remarkable achievement for a 22 year old woman. But sorry, boys, she spoken for!


 
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Son of king of pop


 
 

19 Nov 2002

 
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Iraq's Crazy Uncle

This article is about Uncle Saddam, a documentary film (being shown later this month on Cinemax/HBO) that focuses on the insanity of "His Excellency, President Saddam Hussein, Servant of God, Believer, Leader of All Muslims". The narration is written by Scott Thompson of the Kids in the Hall. Much of the humor stems from Saddam's obsesive-compulsive germ-o-phobia.

It has been said that civilization has three principle adversaries: barbarism, crime and madness. Mr. Hussien seems to excel in all three.


 
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Wacko Jacko Stuns Crowd By Dangling Baby Over Balcony

Folks, this dude's in trouble:


 
 

13 Nov 2002

 
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Do I have something on my nose?

Do I even have a nose?


Nice phony whiskers...
(sorry Q!)


 
 

08 Nov 2002

 
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In your Photoshop dreams, Pazen

Pazen

 
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So you're going to be on Cribs...

If possible, breed or buy a chrome Rottweiler.

While at Rock and Roll Confidential, be sure to stroll The Hall of Douchebags.


via boing boing


 
 

06 Nov 2002

 
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Be a dear

and go buy a book, won't you?


 
 

30 Oct 2002

 
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Data Structures & Algorithm Analysis in Java by Sarah Michelle Geller

I think I'll just let this link speak for itself...


 
 

11 Oct 2002

 
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*sniff sniff* Ah'm so proud ah could jus' burst...

House 8's very own Karen K. gets her...er...words in the paper. Go check out 60 Seconds with Karen Keenan over yonder at ePrairie dot com.

No one demonstrates an effortless command over the term "spiffy" like K-Luv...


 
 

10 Oct 2002

 
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Hold this, Dino. Pfrrrtttttss!

Yeah, I was wondering where Charlie Callas wuz, too. It was just a bonus to track down Charlene Darling from Andy Griffith (keep scrolling, mutha)!


 
 

07 Oct 2002

 
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Kid-E Land

Actor Jude Laws toddler swallows half an Ecstasy tablet. Doctors report that the toddler is feeling really good.
They hope to reverse this.


 
 

24 Sep 2002

 
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Twin Physiques: The Carlson Brothers Live the Model Life (Olsen Twins Repellent)

Preparing for an underwear shoot: "Hit the tanning bed," said Lane. "But cover your face to avoid wrinkles," said Kyle.

_________

Q says porn. Then Rehab. Then Oprah.


 
 

02 Sep 2002

 
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The many faces of Michael Jackson


Now through the miracle of web technology you can track the plastic surgery Michael Jackson has had done.

All the way from cocoa-colored pop sensation to former black man.

Horrifying!


 
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Oops I did them again


Now through the miracle of... ahhh forget it. Here's a photo sequence of Brittney's Spears ever-changing boobs!


 
 

30 Aug 2002

 
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Rocketman Lance

"No promises. But I'm pretty sure there will definitely be something in my head."

Uh, you sure about that Lance?

via K-Luv


 
 

29 Aug 2002

 
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Justin's "I Banged Britney" Webpage

Okay, everyone knows I'm the biggest defender of Brit. But I'm sorry. This is freakin' funny.

via zena


 
 

18 Aug 2002

 
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Anna Nicole Drinking Game

The sad thing is, Entertainment Weekly and NETSCAPE beat all of us to the punch...


 
 

02 Aug 2002

 
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Move over Anne Heche

Angelina Jolie said Thursday in a televised interview that she has split with father Jon Voight as well. "I don't want to make public the reasons for my bad relationship with my father," she said.

If she can make out with her brother at the Oscars, what did Dad do to her?


 
 

26 Jul 2002

 
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Extreme Elvis

Really, words cannot describe. Just go read it. Here's a sample to whet your appetite:

"The audience starts to freak, and I began to realize that I was watching something brilliant.

First off, hereÕs a fat guy who literally has one of the smallest cocks in the history of mankind, and he canÕt wait to get in front of a drunken crowd and show it to them.
A kick ass band surrounds him, and heÕs doing an Elvis impression.
And heÕs fucking good."



via Interrobang


 
 

09 Jul 2002

 
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Hasselhoff Checks Into Rehab

Hey, wouldn't you drink all the time if you had a designated driver everywhere?

"...Michael, you're plastered. Again. Give me a urine sample and I'll have Devon analyze it back at the lab."


 
 

22 Jun 2002

 
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Dear Ann Landers

Please God, I'm only 83!


 
 

21 Jun 2002

 
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K-Love, Chillin'


The scene: Pre-show, United Center

Karen: "Yo, that ------- product is pretty trick"


Kid: "No. It's ass. I got the whole thing on disc from one of my (friends)."

Karen:"Really. You're a big fan. You ever met her?"

Kid: "Hell yes." (Kid produces photo from wallet)

Karen: "So, uh, how old are you?"

Kid: "16. You?"

Karen:"Uh," sipping beer, "I'm 17. Ish."

------------

I do solemnly swear that that's pretty much what happened.


 
 

14 Jun 2002

 
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Whip a white guy's ass...

seems like beatin' up on that simpleton Vanilla Ice has catapulted Mr. Todd "Clubber" Bridges back into the limelight.

Or maybe it was that Moby lip-synching. Either way, looks like we'll need a TV here at work

via cnn


 
 

10 Jun 2002

 
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Adam Ant Denies Charges

As a follow up to a story posted a few months ago, Adam Ant has denied charges that he caused any harm to Plato Contostavlos, broke windows, or was generally insane.

Is this really Adam Ant??

Is this old man really Adam Ant???


 
 

05 Jun 2002

 
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Hi, My Name's R. What's Yours?


 
 

03 Jun 2002

 
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Ooooooops...

don't know if anyone caught the interviews after the Lakers/Kings game, but that shaq-a-docious is pretty sly. those censors need to get on it...

and why is he hatin' on my boy Dennis?



via those foul-mouthed people at sportscenter


 
 

01 Jun 2002

 
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Did I Mention My Mother-in-law is Joan Rivers?

Although Joan Rivers spent boatloads of cash in 1998 to transform the ball room of New Yorks Plaza Hotel into a winter forest for her daughter Melissas wedding, Mr. Melissa filed for divorce this week.
I know we all hoped it would work out, but apparently you can't buy compatibility.

Melissa is known mostly for being the talentless princess daughter of the horrible bitchy comedian.


 
 

06 May 2002

 
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When will the Olsen Twins be legal?

I've decided Lisa's right. There needs to be an Olsen twins category.

via zena


 
 

23 Apr 2002

 
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I Fail To See The Humor

Cristie Kerr holds up the trophy after winning the LPGA Longs Drugs Challenge at the Twelve Bridges Golf Club in Lincoln, Calif., Sunday, April 21, 2002. Kerr finished with a four-day total of 8-under-par 280. This was Kerr's first win on the LPGA tour.



Cristie Kerr kisses the trophy she received for winning the LPGA Longs Drugs Challenge at the Twelve Bridges Golf Club in Lincoln, Calif., Sunday, April 21, 2002. Kerr finished with a four-day total of 8-under-par 280. This was Kerr's first win on the LPGA tour. (AP Photo/Rich Pedroncelli)

It's gonna touch your tummy
With the taste of nuts -n- honey
It's a honey of an O
It's Honey Nut Cheerios!


 
 

17 Apr 2002

 
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Am I Annoying or Not?

Don't you love website spin-offs? Could have been executed better, but the concept is genius...

via ryan


 
 

23 Mar 2002

 
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Lance Bass wants to go to Space "so bad"

Teen heart-throb Lance Bass of the U.S. boy-band 'N Sync was in Moscow to undergo a battery of medical tests, hoping to fulfill his dream of becoming the first entertainer in space.

i hope that the ruskies do us all a favor and take him up and leave him at the space sation.


 
 

13 Mar 2002

 
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Never too early to think about Halloween...

Just ask Mr. Jackson!


 
 

12 Feb 2002

 
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Britney Spears to speak at MIT

Britney

This is almost too easy.

via Pazen via Ian C.


 
 

28 Jan 2002

 
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Glossary of Celebrities' Sexual Preferences

An oldie but goodie, with regular updates.

via Zena


 
 

16 Jan 2002

 
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Stand and Deliver! -- Adam Ant Committed

As if dressing up like a pirate in make-up wasn't an early sign, Adam Ant was finally committed to the loony bin after touting a gun in an English pub.


 
 

07 Jan 2002

 
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The widsom of supermodels

enough said...


 
 

04 Jan 2002

 
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Backstreet Boy Nick Carter arrested and begins bawling

"The cops arrested him, put him in handcuffs, and then put him in the police car. Nick wasn't belligerent, but he started bawling. He said, 'You just want to arrest a Backstreet Boy. I've never been arrested. I don't know what to do!' He was crying hard. Tears were streaming down his face. People were laughing at him. The cops were chuckling."


 
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CIA Using Mariah Carey Movie in Al Qaeda Interrogations

In a controversial interrogation tactic that one prominent human-rights organization says "borders on torture," CIA operatives in Afghanistan have been showing Al Qaeda prisoners the Mariah Carey film "Glitter."

'Nuff said.

via have browser, will travel