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20 Oct 2005 |
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Cool (yet disturbing) photo of Korea's rarely photographed Mass Games. 
Any person who holds up the wrong panel is immediately taken outside and shot.
(ha ha)
It's times like this I wish I had a house8 alias. Graf is going to come down on me like a sack of hammers.
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19 Sep 2005 |
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Some helpful phrases for talk like a pirate day:
"Yarr." - I agree.
"Yarr!" - I see your point, and agree wholeheartedly.
"Yarr-ha-harr!" - You're right!
"Yarr?" - Excuse me, what did you say?
"Yarrgh" - I respectfully acknowledge that you are right and I am wrong
"Be that a peg leg, or arrr ye just happy to cast yer eyes upon me?"
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29 Aug 2005 |
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But everybody knows virgin number 326 is a big slut, and even I've pounded the chick in the glasses.
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23 Mar 2005 |
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Okay, stop what ya doin', 'cuz I'm about to ruin... your productivity. Here's two fun quizzes to help you learn more about yourself:
Which New York Times Op-Ed Columnist Are You?
or, for those who gots dey edumacation on da STREET:
How is it possible for me to be both Bob Herbert and Chris Rock at the same time? Hmm...
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09 Nov 2004 |
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I'm gonna get blamed, but it is NOT me ranting... judge for yourself:
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09 Sep 2004 |
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Take this online quiz and test your asian awareness. The quiz takes you through about 20 photgraphs of Asian individuals and asks you to identify them as Chinese, Japanese or Korean. Apparently, the average person scores a seven, I was only able to score an 8. blah! take the test!
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30 Mar 2004 |
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Classified as "anthropology", which must have any real anthropologists up in arms, Details goes all out in their Asian stereotypes. Apparently all Asians do the following: cruise for chicken, are into shrimp balls, uses chopsticks, drink tea, are samurais, have sashimi-smooth chests, and have soft and long fingers. If that's not fucked up enough, apparently these things make for someone being gay. It's really absurd the way Details went about it. While it may be difficult for non-Asians to understand, I'm sure if any magazine did a "Gangsta or Black", "Tribe Leader or Indian", or "Drug Trafficker or Latino", nobody would question whether it was wrong or not.
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16 Dec 2003 |
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Some Arabs...had at least hoped for redemption in Saddam's death; instead they got a bedraggled old man hiding in a dark hole, reportedly armed but calling to his discoverers, "Don't shoot!"
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19 Nov 2003 |
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As a crowd of fans screamed their support, the 21-year-old superstar presided over the unveiling of her own bronze-edged star that lies among those of movie and music legends along the pavement of Los Angeles' Hollywood.
"It's really weird," said the singer whose new television special was due to be aired on US television later Monday, a day ahead of the release of her latest album
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27 Oct 2003 |
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You can thank Germany for this new twist on an old theme.
Film producers Satt und Durstig organized a premiere in Berlin last month after a successful test run in the northern city of Hamburg and the trend has already spawned imitators in other major cities.
The event follows the rules of traditional karaoke but instead of standing in for Whitney Houston or Frank Sinatra, contestants belt out the parts of adult movie stars.
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13 Sep 2003 |
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Seattle librarian Nancy Pearl holds the librarian action figure she inspired outside Archie McPhee & Co.'s Seattle store. The librarian joins the McPhee lineup of other action figures, including Sigmund Freud, Nico the espresso stand barista, and Jesus Christ.
I have this vision of House8 members going to this site and being separated from their money... be sure you don't miss 'peeing guy"...
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12 Sep 2003 |
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Warning: Some of these are unbelievably shallow and crass. Which is why I suppose they feel right at home here at House 8.
Fox News: "Fair and Balanced"
House 8: "Shallow and Crass"
Yeah, that fits.
For those not interested in wading through all 6 (!!) pages, this one pretty much sums it all up:
We were living in D.C., but it didn't really faze us that terrorists had hit our very own city. We attempted to go to the movies where a homeless man kindly told us that no movies were being shown that day; grudgingly ate at the only food establishment open --Taco Bell -- and ended up renting Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson Lee's staged X-rated extravaganza. We did the nasty all day (no thanks to Tommy and Pam), convincing ourselves that what we were doing was life affirming. And it was.
-- Name withheld
Gawd Bless Umuricuh.
via one.point.zero
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03 Sep 2003 |
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Gospel originated in the Hebrides. Word is bond.
In unrelated Scots news, check out Sexy Kilt Boat Guy. WTF? Gotta get me a boat...
via one.point.zero
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22 Aug 2003 |
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Funkmaster Flex, the hot-rod king of the central Bronx, has a new show on Spike TV.
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Since [our employer] went down in flames and laid all of us off, I find that getting to the west side is harder than it used to be. I'm concerned that I'm getting a little rusty on my hipster language skills.
I thought I'd offer to the men and women of House8 the latest in cultural language trends, so that when we're re-employed we can pick up where we left off.
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That said, here's a guide to Flex's car lingo:
* Whip: Car
* Shoes: Wheels
* Ride out: Take off
* Churp and tie: Burnout
* Dubs: Tires more than 20 inches in diameter
* Big block: Old car with a lot of horsepower
* Thump thump: Noise made by loud sound system
* Pipework: Exhaust system; ie, "That's serious pipework!"
* Floating: Driving a hot truck slowly down a crowded street
* Third-lane style: Going more than 70 miles an hour
* Trick out: Doing anything "after market" to your car
via New York Post, Page Six
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18 Jul 2003 |
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Pitt junior Brandon Smith wanted a tattoo that proclaimed his manliness, so he decided to get the Chinese characters for ÒstrengthÓ and ÒhonorÓ on his chest. After 20 minutes under the needle of local tattoo artist Andy Sakai, he emerged with the symbol for Òsmall penisÓ embedded in his flesh.
via anna
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05 Jun 2003 |
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This is a fun website to see just how cultured you actually are...is it a urinal or art? You be the judge, and then get your Art IQ score.
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06 May 2003 |
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Dust off those gas masks and fly your freak flag high. Join the Avrilution and take back your pop culture.
via boing boing
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02 May 2003 |
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Amazing photo collection of social dress codes. I especially love the differences between fans and supporters.
via harrumph!
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27 Feb 2003 |
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If you thought it would be impossible to make mass music any more flat and uncreative, think again. This program is sure to do the job. Take all the uniqueness and human idiosyncracies out of pop music and replace it with market-proven pop algorithms through the magic of machine logic.
Kill me now.
via Jim MacGregor
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25 Feb 2003 |
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Some 125,000 people showed up to watch the crowd of men dressed in white loincloths try to ward off bad luck by touching the body of the year's appointed "sacred man" as he entered Konomiya Shrine, near Nagoya.
...uh huh.
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21 Feb 2003 |
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The French Boy Scouts probably have a merit badge for broth.
via K-Ho, Texan
literally.
now this is why japanese fashion is always ahead of the curve. a step beyond the breast painted t-shirts...
via jane
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02 Feb 2003 |
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Fascinating article from 1980 on Columbia.
The main cause of delay is currently the shuttle's refractory tiles, which disperse the heat of reentry from the ship's nose and fuselage. Columbia must be fitted out with 33,000 of these tiles, each to be applied individually, each unique in shape. The inch-thick tiles, made of pyrolized carbon, are amazing in two respects. They can be several hundred degrees hot on one side while remaining cool to the touch on the other. They do not boil away like the ablative heat shieldings of capsules and modules; they can be used indefinitely. But they're also a bit of a letdown in another respect-they're so fragile you can hardly touch them without shattering them.
These are the wild, uncharted rivers of space. Unknown; unknowable; beyond programming. To find out if your ship can cope with them, you have to take it up there.
Also see Go at Throttle-Up, a 1996 examination of the state of NASA and the shuttle. Both articles
via scripting news
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24 Jan 2003 |
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11 Jan 2003 |
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If it's a trend, methinks it's on the downside , but some people are fanatics about it...
Of course, there's always Drunken Sexual Hangman
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03 Dec 2002 |
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Wearing pink T-shirts that read "Bad girls like good contracts," dancers banged on pots Monday and chanted, "Two, four, six, eight, pay me more to gyrate!"
The club uses its unionized status as a selling point, boasting on its answering machine that it is "San Francisco's only peep show where you can be sure the dancers will be beautiful, smart and unionized."
"They use the union to promote the club, yet they don't support it," said Vivian. "It feels like exploitation."
"Victorian taxidermy was very popular once but is not really in favor now," said Kevin Moore, owner of the mid-18th century Jamaica Inn in southwest England, where the 6,000 figures are set out in sentimental -- some would say tasteless -- tableaux.
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27 Aug 2002 |
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"If only these players knew how much the fans needed to see them having fun," Giannoulas says later. "If only they had a clue."
Indeed.
A great read about the historically very private man inside (formerly San Diego) Chicken, Ted Giannoulas.
via Pazen
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26 Aug 2002 |
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23 Aug 2002 |
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09 Aug 2002 |
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If you've been laying awake nights wondering why David Hasselhoof is a big European rockstar and you're not, here's the reason.
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02 Aug 2002 |
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16 Jul 2002 |
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Dumbass Hans von Schweinitz gets his family kicked off plane for asking if the pilots are sober, then compares America West flight attendants to Hitler's Boot Boys.
"It sent cold chills down my back," he said. "My family opposed Hitler, but if you asked the wrong questions, you took your life in your hands, because the SS and Gestapo had complete power."
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[T]he flight crew announced that the plane's departure would be delayed because a passenger had asked if the pilot had taken a blood alcohol test.
The delay lasted 2 1/2 hours while the crew waited for a blood alcohol test to be brought to the airport.
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A security guard escorted the von Schweinitz family off the plane. The airline put the family on the next flight to Seattle.
"People cheered, and that was embarrassing and humiliating," Christopher von Schweinitz said.
Hans, bubby: Yer an asshole.
via Obscure Store
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26 Jun 2002 |
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Have a half-baked idea? Share it with the world. Or, spend hours reading others' submissions and comments. Why do dishwashers open top-down?
via More Like This
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21 Jun 2002 |
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06 Jun 2002 |
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05 Jun 2002 |
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British marines are flirting with the locals and blowin' goats in Afghanistan...
At one stage, troops were invited into a house and asked to dance. Citing the need to keep momentum in their search and destroy mission, the marines made their excuses and left.
Had they been there on leave, they certainly would've stayed to trip the light fantastic with their hosts...
via one.point.zero
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04 Jun 2002 |
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The C-walk, a tiptoe dance that some people joke looks like skipping "hopscotch on crack," has caught on among teenagers nationwide.
These moves should sound familiar to anyone who has seen Karen Keenans bizarre West Side Story dance
But the solo performance dance, usually done to fast-tempo hip-hop and rap music, alarms school administrators. Because of its origins in a notorious street gang, some in Los Angeles are banning it from campus parties and proms. The C, after all, stands for Crips, a name supposedly spelled out in foot motions of some C-walkers.
"The Crip walk is a no-no," Crenshaw High School Principal Isaac Hammond said. (Site supplies video of the dance, so you can offend your friedns and neighbors)
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15 May 2002 |
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They may be big, loud and drunk, but there is no need to fear them.
Hah! Here we go! Here we go! Here we go!
The pamphlets urge shopkeepers to try to communicate with the fans, and in addition to daily phrases like 'Welcome' and 'Can I help you', it recommends trying: 'England are a great team'.
Well, better than '94, anyway.
Wait, it gets better...
'The Handy Guide for England Supporters', which will be handed out to the fans together with their tickets, tell them to avoid a 'cultural red card', such as taking shirts off in public, and advising that those with tatoos cover them up.
It also warns that drunken fans will not be allowed into the matches, urging: 'Pace yourself!'
The media loves this shit. "Oh, my! Nooo! Here come the hooligans! Hide the women and children!" Fox Sports World has been running these short "Road to the World Cup" fluff pieces on teams, players, and how Korea and Japan are preparing for the crowds. Almost all of these are used to demonstrate the flash new riot gear the cops have, including net guns that can take down three people from five meters away or some crap like that. The most recent one shows Japanese riot cops taking on a "simulated" attack by hooligans, followed by the cops jumping all over the "hooligans," 3-5 on 1.
Nothing is funnier than a Japanese guy trying to act like an English hooligan. I'm pretty sure they were laughing through the whole performance.
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09 May 2002 |
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Jodee Berry, 27, won a beer sales contest last May at the Panama City Beach Hooters. She believed she had won a new Toyota and happily was escorted to the restaurant's parking lot in a blindfold.
But when the blindfold was removed, she found she had won a new toy Yoda -- the little green character from the "Star Wars" movies.
It was a joke people.
I guess when you work at Hooters, the biggest thing you could possibly look forward to is a new Toyota... or a new tube top.
via The Morning News
I'm moving to Rhode Island.
It seems they're considering offering Mr. Potato head license plates, with half the proceeds going to benefit a food bank.
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08 May 2002 |
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Unfortunately, these are not a joke.
PriceWaterhouseCoopers' "Downright Global"* is about as painful as their logo...
* Not to be confused with "Your World". Yes, they have two. An alarming number of companies have multiple "anthems." And remixes.
via NPR
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25 Apr 2002 |
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Either it's existential cultural commentaries via 1970s video technologies, or it's neighbors from hell.
Your choice. All skate, all skate...
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18 Apr 2002 |
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I think that we as a nation have finally recovered from the September 11 attacks.
What makes me say that?
Well...
Robert Blake, TV's Baretta, has been arrested for murdering his wife. No word if OJ Simpson has offered to help track down the real killer. But I say, if the bird shit, you must acquit.
Roman Polanski will face sex charges, although the object of his affections is probably old enough to be a grandmother by now.
Madonna and Courtney are fucked up. Madonna's gonna be OK, but Courtney probably isn't.
And, to top it all off, Volkswagen now has a car that gets 239 miles to the gallon and looks like a Beetle that got squished betwixt two semi-trucks.
Hot damn tamale!
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17 Apr 2002 |
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Don't you love website spin-offs? Could have been executed better, but the concept is genius...
via ryan
NEW YORK ÐÐ Destiny's Child's new single "Nasty Girl," which chastises scantily clad women and tells them to "put some clothes on," may seem contradictory coming from a trio known as much for their bare midriffs as their soulful sound.
Anyone can defend a song.
The real question is, can they defend their career?
I think we need a Michael Bolton category on here for inexplicably popular cultural dreck.
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29 Mar 2002 |
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11 Mar 2002 |
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Another toy seller, Masoumeh Rahimi, said Barbie was "foreign to IranÕs culture" because some of the popular Western dolls wear revealing clothing. She said young girls who play with Barbie, a doll she sees as wanton, could grow into women who reject Iranian values.
"I think every Barbie doll is more harmful than an American missile," Rahimi said.
Iranian kids will be able to hold Gi Joe's hostage at the "Sara and Dara Dreamhouse".... err... make that Dreamhut.
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30 Jan 2002 |
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Martial Arts. Comic Books. Anime. Oh my!
Supervillain: The HackerShe ain't yer ordinary computer villain. She's a Supervillain. You can tell because she has a really big gun and she's chained to her PCMCIA card. Or something.
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16 Jan 2002 |
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i walked in, filled out an application, and was interviewed. i was truthful. in my interview, the manager (ralph) asked if i can handle a fast-paced, intense environment. i said yes. he looked at my resume and asked about my current part-time job as chairman at i-traffic. i said, "it's an internet thing." he said "ok" and then asked me for my waist size.
Hah!
via kottke
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11 Jan 2002 |
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This website is run by Ex-Convicts, for Convicts and ex-convicts who have either lost contact with old prison inmate or maybe looking for fellow conns for their next bank job.
We can help you find your friends, if you're were convicted or just got away with a caution, in the complete knowledge that your contact details are kept securely at all times.
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In these days of Magic Lantern¨ and Carnivore¨ and other Big Brother devices, I don't think I'd trust these guys...
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21 Dec 2001 |
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19 Dec 2001 |
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Cheeky Santa Given The BumÕs Rush
Santa Falls Foul of Anti-Terrorism Laws
Child Santa booted out of mall
Next Year: Coal for everyone!
via Drudge
