House 8 is no longer active, at least here. We're over here now.

 

 

27 Sep 2008

 
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How many hard boiled eggs can he eat NOW?

Cool-Hand-Luke.jpg

Who'd have thought that George Kennedy would have outlived Paul Newman?


 
 

24 Jul 2008

 
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Estelle Getty, we hardly knew ye.

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Now where did I put my black brunch coat?


 
 

01 Mar 2008

 
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And awaaaay he goes!

BenChapman.jpg

Ben Chapman, the guy who played the actual "Creature from the Black Lagoon", died last week in Hawaii. He was 79.


 
 

27 Feb 2008

 
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William F. Buckley R.I.P.

2395498137.jpgConservative writer William F. Buckley (on the left... smirk), who was as full of affectation as a bad drag queen, is dead. Even Bond villains look cuddly next to him. It's not good to debate Gore Vidal on TV and have audiences conclude that you were the gay one. Here's their notorious, nasty exchange.

Still, he was often funny and very smart. At one point, as the joke goes, Laugh-in offered to fly him out to Hollywood to appear on the show, but they "couldn't find a plane with two right-wings." Buckley even laughed at that one. What a slap in the face that someone so learned (a quality not on display in the clip) had to watch impotently as the torch was passed to a complete nincompoop like Bush.


 
 

08 Feb 2008

 
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No, you may not...

2334538108.jpg
...go to the electric chair in Nebraska anymore. They just abolished it. But don't fret, Dick Cheney should be back next door in Wyoming full-time in about 346 days, and we all know he's got a secret book of enjoyable ways to kill people.


 
 

22 Jan 2008

 
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Heath Ledger is Dead

Holy crap.
Story

He was 28.
What a shame.


 
 

31 Oct 2007

 
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Goodnight Sweet Prince

669298.jpg

Join me in bidding a fond, baritoned farewell to one of the last great crooners.

This is the guy that drove Elvis to shoot his own TV.

"NATURE ALL AROUND ME!"


 
 

09 Feb 2007

 
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Maybe they put her down?

Ya know, like Barbaro?

Whhiiiiiiinnnnyyyyy!


 
 

10 Jan 2007

 
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Lilly Munster - RIP


 
 

29 Nov 2006

 
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Blackwater Update

Remember them? Well, it looks like someone may actually try to hold them accountable for their actions.

So even if a right-wing dominated Supreme Court should somehow forestall Mr. Prince's turn in the dock, we can expect that a vivified US Congress will hold hearings and ultimately demonstrate clearly what Iraq for Sale shows: US firms have not only committed murder in Iraq, they have committed treason, by making money at all costs, even that of American lives and national security.

I'll be over here, holding my breath.


 
 

28 Sep 2006

 
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Shelves for Life

Just the thing you'll need at some point in your life... or maybe some other point.


 
 

25 Sep 2006

 
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T is for Texas, D is for Death


 
 

04 Sep 2006

 
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Crikey

Mullet-sporting Steve Irwin is dead at 44 of a stingray barb to the heart. "The world has lost a great wildlife icon, a passionate conservationist" it says here.

I seem to remember a lot of needless deep thumbing of snake rectums, and the like.


 
 

26 Jul 2006

 
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Mellified Man

honeybear.gif Two Words: Band Name.

I now know how I want to go out. Eatin', shittin' and swimmin' in honey.


 
 

05 Jul 2006

 
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Ken Lay: Dead

Ken Lay has reportedly died of a "massive coronary," which may be another way of saying he was killed by the collective thoughts and hopes of millions of people.

So long, dickhead.


 
 

16 Jun 2006

 
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House passes vacuous empty resolution

House resolution 861 "declaring that united states will prevail in the global war on terror" passed today.

So easy to pass a bill showing your resolve compared to fighting the war, and being railroaded into your 3rd or 4th stay in Iraq because of stop-loss policies, and cynical "patriotic" politicians.

Your tax dollars hard at work pumping out rhetoric. Further bills this week will declare that black is white, and that pigs fly.


 
 

14 Feb 2006

 
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Ghetto-fab

RIP Every One

He's rockin' the fake fur with style, but what you don't see is the best knock-it-all-out-in-one-go neck tattoo evar.

RIP
Every One


Yep, I'd say that pretty much covers it.


 
 

18 Oct 2005

 
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"Is the critter in my sights?"

In my great tradition of having a laugh at the expense of the dead, here is the story of Cameron Dean, a blind bowhunter. One thing you have to say for him, he leveled the playing field for the prey.


 
 

10 Oct 2005

 
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In lieu of flowers...

...please send acerbic letters to Republicans.

Best obituary request ever... Theodore Roosevelt Heller


No I don't read the obituarys on a regular basis, someone else IM'd it to me cause they thought I would appreciate it.

I didn't even know the man, but I wish there were more people like him. :-)


 
 

08 Sep 2005

 
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O'Connor: Rehnquist was 'a betting man'

Rehnquist's humor, sense of duty hailed, as well as his wagering ability, apparently.

In her eulogy, O'Connor also referred to Rehnquist's last days.

"The chief was a betting man," O'Connor said. "He enjoyed making wagers about most things. The outcomes of football or baseball games, elections, even the amount of snow that would fall on the courtyard at the court. If you valued your money, you would be careful about betting with the chief. He usually won.

I'll...er...bet.

(hat-tip: Q)


 
 

19 May 2005

 
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There's a new star in Heaven

Couldn't Jebus have taken Tyne Daly as his sunbeam instead?


 
 

30 Mar 2005

 
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Death goes to court

link


  • "Death's attorney, Melvin Roth, said his client would plead not guilt"
  • "Roth called Death an 'upstanding member of the community'"
  • "The audit also found that Death used an employee to provide landscaping"


 
 

21 Feb 2005

 
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Hunter S. Thompson, 1937-2005

What the fuck, HST? Personally, I'd have thought that when he went, he'd take some of the filthy swine with him.


 
 

24 Jan 2005

 
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Johnny, I miss you already.

johnny_carson_best.png

Continue reading "Johnny, I miss you already." »


 
 

06 Aug 2004

 
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I'm Rick James, bitch!

And I'm dead.


 
 

04 May 2004

 
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Pat Tillman Cartoon

A cartoonist generated some controvesy noting that letting yourself be used by the military and the excuse-swappping GOP is actually dumb, not heroic, or if anything it's just a waste. No one would have cared if Tillman didn't look like like he was assembled from some uber-male checklist. The continued assertion that he died protecting our freedom is bizarre.
How has Iraq ever threatened my freedom?

"Tillman -- who gave up a $3.6-million National Football League contract to join the military and then died last month -- "falsely believed Bush's war against Iraq had something to do with 9/11. Actually, he was a cog in a low-rent occupation Army that shot more innocent civilians than terrorists to prop up puppet rulers and exploit gas and oil resources. So when Tillman got killed by the Afghan resistance, one word naturally came to mind: 'Uh -- idiot?' [says one person in the cartoon's final panel]. 'Sap?' [says another]. 'Hero!' [says an editor]."


 
 

10 Apr 2004

 
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This just in...

Ingmar Bergman admits that his own films (teeming with existential bleakness) depress him and make him miserable.


 
 

16 Mar 2004

 
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Malpractice

Remember this diagnosis:

"I called the doctor on the telephone
Said Doctor, Doctor, please
I got this feeling
rocking and a'reeling
tell me, what can it be, is it some new disease?

They call it Boogie fever
You got to boogie down
Boogie fever, I think it's going around"

Well, apparently, it was really lung cancer.


 
 

08 Mar 2004

 
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R.I.P. Spaulding Gray

I don't know if you've been following the story but monologist Spaulding Gray (best known for the movie "Swimming to Cambodia" about his adventures on the set of the film The Killing Fields) disappeared back in January. There was little follow-up so I had hoped it ended well. Instead his body was found in the East River in NYC this weekend.
Crap! That's no good.

I liked his observation that Lon Nol is the only dictator in history whose name is spelled the same backwards and forwards.

The circumstances of his death have not been determined. To quote the article: "In addition to his writing, Gray enjoyed skiing and drinking."
nice.


 
 

01 Feb 2004

 
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Score: Satan - 244, Muslim Pilgrims - 0

While most "Let's all stone Satan" events, are just good wholesome fun, Sunday's annual ritual ended in a stampede that left 244 Muslim worshipers dead.

Minister Iyad Madani said, "All precautions were taken to prevent such an incident, but this is God's will." I guess he means all precautions but actually holding a "Let's stone Satan!" event. Apparetly if everyone had stayed home God would have struck down the same 244 devotees cutting their toenails and washing their clothes.


 
 

23 Jan 2004

 
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Kiddy TV Dead Pool

story.capt.kangaroo.ap.jpg

Captain Kangaroo: R.I.P. I'd watch my ass if I were a Wiggle. Pazen knows what I mean.


 
 

28 Dec 2003

 
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U.S. Dept. of Ag: Blame Canada!

The Mad Cow in Washington State was traced to a herd in Canada.

See! Kyle's mom was right.

Graf and I can't give blood because we lived in the UK for more than 6 months and there is the (however incredibly slight) potential of being Creutzfeldt-Jakob carriers.

Eh, we all gotta die of somethin. Pass the Filet Mignon...


 
 

09 Oct 2003

 
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Bear Expert And Companion Killed in Attack

That same year Treadwell was a guest on the "Late Show with David Letterman," describing Alaska brown bears as mostly harmless "party animals."

This just in: it was all captured on tape.

Obligatory humor...

Ewwww....

Come to think of it, our pet rabbit has been looking at me kinda funny lately...


 
 

07 Oct 2003

 
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UPI: dead pope will not be hammered

As recently as 40 years ago, the Camerlengo [determined the pope was dead] by tapping the pope's head three times with a small hammer and shouting his family name close to his ear, but that colorful ritual is not mentioned in the 1996 revisions made by Pope John Paul II to streamline the process...

via the morning news


 
 

20 Sep 2003

 
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Hardcore Arts and Crafts

Choke on this project, Renegade Craft Fair!


 
 

18 Sep 2003

 
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Suicide Onstage?


"They'd rather have an assisted suicide, but because of the way the laws are written, they can't do it," [the singer] said in an interview Wednesday morning... "So, bringing dying with dignity to the forefront is really what it's all about."

"If it's a stunt, then they have very right to perform this stunt on stage," a city council member added. "If somebody loses their life, they will be prosecuted as conspirators."

Q sez they got an act, but it ain't G.G. Allin


 
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Sheb Wooley dead at 82

Continuing the spirit of K-Luv's RIAA lawlessness, I present you with Flying Purple People Eater.


 
 

12 Sep 2003

 
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Actor John Ritter Dead

John Ritter, whose portrayal of the bumbling but lovable Jack Tripper helped make the madcap comedy series "Three's Company" a smash hit in the 1970s, has died, his publicist and longtime assistant said Friday. He was 54.

Ritter fell ill Thursday on the set of his ABC sitcom "8 Simple Rules ... For Dating My Teenage Daughter," said Susan Wilcox, his assistant of 22 years. The cause of death was a dissection of the aorta, the result of an unrecognized flaw in his heart, said his publicist, Lisa Kasteler.

via Drudge


 
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Johnny Cash: The Man Came Around

'Till armageddon no shalam no shalom Then the father-hen will call his chickens home The wise men will bow down before the throne And at his feet they'll cast their golden crowns When the Man comes around

Actor John Ritter Dies Too


 
 

04 Sep 2003

 
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The Tomato hurling Incident

More proof
that the Amish
are to blame
for all of society's ills.

( < Unrelated picture: Amish Baby got Back)


 
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Pizza Delivery Man forced to rob bank then killed via bomb

If you haven't already heard this story which occured a few days ago it will shock the hell out of you.

After a pizza delivery man went out to deliver a pizza, the customer attached a bomb to him, forcing him to hold up a bank. Afterwards he detonated the bomb and killed the poor guy.
Seriously disturbing.

(This story/link has already been revised to delete any reference to the delivery and blame the dead guy)

Update: Note found with body instructed victim how to defuse the bomb.


 
 

25 Aug 2003

 
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Cashing In, Cashing Out

OK, so I'm not il Postino the Music Guru, but here's some interesting stuff...


Johnny Cash has had about as interesting a life as any musician could hope to have, and while he's an acquired taste, there's probably something in his catalog for everyone.

Hobbled by a neurological disorder, his voice worn from years of (ab)use, and coming off the death of his wife this summer, Cash stands nominated for 6 VMA's for his video "Hurt". Strange as it might seem for Cash to be singing a Nine Inch Nails song, when paired with the video it's sort of moving. Check it out, it's pretty cool (it's also 9mb).

If it's celebrity dead pool you want to play, sadly my money's on Warren Zevon. Only a few of his songs got regular airplay, but the guy cracks me up. On his most recent tour Bob Dylan played one or two Zevon songs each night. Zevon included Dylan's "Knocking On Heaven's Door" on his last album; it ships tomorrow.

If all of this shite is too depressing, please watch this.


 
 

22 Aug 2003

 
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In lieu of flowers, fire the president!

Sally Baron's children don't want memorials for mom going to the Cancer Society or any organization like that. Baron's obituary reads: "Memorials in her honor can be made to any organization working for the removal of President Bush."

The late Mrs. Baron thought he was smirking liar.
Now why can't the media figure that out?

via obscure store


 
 

18 Jul 2003

 
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Manure Spontaneously Ignites, Sparks Fire

67 Goats Die In Blaze

LOS ANGELES -- A fire apparently started when a pile of manure spontaneously ignited scorched a 1-acre Mojave Desert property Tuesday, killing 67 goats.


A neighbor reported the fire Wednesday afternoon and arriving firefighters found a 150--by-20-foot structure and a grassy area ablaze, fire Inspector Ed Osorio said. The fire was extinguished in about 20 minutes.

All the goats on the property were killed, Los Angeles County Animal Care and Control spokeswoman Paula Gerken said. The animals were dead by the time firefighters arrived, Osorio said.

Gerken said the property was a rural residence where the goats were kept in a pen.


 
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The Bush/Blair killing

Forget whether the Clintons killed Vince Foster, the gent who disclosed that Blair and Bush lied about Iraq has been found dead.


 
 

18 Jun 2003

 
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Holy Fucking Shit

Iranians protesting religious rule in Iran SET THEMSELVES ON FIRE in France.

Warning: This is seriously burly and disturbing.


 
 

08 Jun 2003

 
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Vacation Hot Spot or Death Camp

Ditch those pesky civil liberties and work on your tan in lovely downtown Guantanamo Bay!


 
 

03 Jun 2003

 
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Out of work? Like to kill people?

In case you missed it, the CIA is trolling for fresh blood.
Yes, the US Central Intelligence Agency -- that fun-loving, drug-dealing, government-subverting dinosaur of a bureaucracy -- is running ads for new recruits.
The ad, in the employment section of the Wall Street Journal (September 7, 1999), features a photo of a smug-looking thirty-something woman with her chin in hand, and the preposterous headline -- "Do you have what it takes? Integrity.Intellect. Common Sense. Patriotism. Courage."
Sadly there was no mention of the applicant's ability to actively participate in, or at least look the other way, when confronted with state-sanctioned terrorism,like illegal drug smuggling or money laundering.
Sponsored by the CIA Directorate of Operations, Clandestine Service, the ad says you can't be older than 35 to enter the trainee program. In other words, the ad copy is aimed directly at people who may be unaware of the Agency's bloody and treacherous history.


 
 

24 Apr 2003

 
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SARS Q&A

A good Q&A about SARS, the exception being their claim about the life of the virus. It now appears that SARS lives outside the host at least 24 hours (most viruses live about 2-3 hours)

Also, the statement that SARS is not viable in an airborne state seems suspect.

So if your mailman sneezes on your mail, well, it's been nice knowing you


 
 

16 Apr 2003

 
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Tha Row Hit With Wrongful-Death Suit

The mother of a Los Angeles woman allegedly killed and partially eaten by aspiring Texas rapper Antron Singleton (aka Big Lurch) has filed a wrongful-death lawsuit against Tha Row Records and others, Billboard Bulletin reports.

Singleton, 27, allegedly killed and mutilated his 21-year-old roommate, Tynisha Ysais, on April 10, 2002, following a night of drug use. A medical examination of Singleton's stomach after his arrest found human flesh, according to reports. Singleton is awaiting trial on charges of murder and torture.


 
 

10 Apr 2003

 
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Soul On Ice

Alas and alack! Frozen food giant Sol Friend will never enjoy the sweet taste of Iraqi freedom. Now his family will have to invite someone else over to share it. Because, as Ari Fleisher noted, "Freedom's taste is unquenchible!"

But does it stay fresh when frozen?


 
 

04 Apr 2003

 
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War kills Edwin Starr

He warned us, and we wouldn't listen: Nothing but a heartbreaker. Giving only to the undertaker. The lesson is clear - U.S. out of Iraq before Gladys Knight kicks!


 
 

28 Mar 2003

 
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Darwin strikes again



via obscure store


 
 

27 Mar 2003

 
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Infographic: How many good guys are dead?

Legend: Dead

Someone over at MSNBC has a little too much time on their hands.

Of note:

  1. The prominent "View Most Recent" button. For those times when you caught a glimpse of casualties on "the crawl" but really need the gritty details of how they were killed.
  2. The accidental deaths vs. enemy fire pie chart. Lovely stat, that.

UPDATE: Dead Iraqi Would Have Loved Democracy


 
 

26 Mar 2003

 
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Javelin missle test

Q passes on a frighteningly cool movie of a Javelin missle test-fire. Holy crap.

QT movie 4.3 MB

Photos of test

via Q


 
 

13 Mar 2003

 
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Chinese Try Mobile Death Vans

A woman is taken away for execution after being sentenced to death in Beijing in 2001.

---------

When a bullet in the head too messy, just roll up in one of these vans... then roll up your sleeve.


 
 

10 Mar 2003

 
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That's The Spirit, Di

She's apparently broken her self-imposed silence (you know, the one she began when she died...)


 
 

01 Mar 2003

 
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Nine Deer, Spooked by Traffic, Plummet to Deaths From Bridge

ÒIt was quite frightening for people to watch,Ó she said. ÒOne caller said one of the deer was dangling on the bridge before it fell.Ó

-----

Posted specifically for Andrew.

The question is, were the deer evolving or devolving?

Or, had they reached the top of Maslow's heirarchy and, having reached self-actualization, were they content to make room for a new herd?


 
 

27 Feb 2003

 
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Sad day in neighborhood: Beloved Mister Rogers dies

Fred Rogers, who gently invited millions of children to be his neighbor as host of the public television show "Mister Rogers' Neighborhood" for more than 30 years, died of cancer early Thursday. He was 74.

------------------

Forgive me, Fred, if I don't want to be your neighbor now that you're dead.


 
 

26 Feb 2003

 
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Make Your Own Nightclub Disaster

Gerbs.jpg (46401 bytes)

Disclaimer: We're not saying these particular things were used in a nightclub disaster. As with all things flaming, be careful. Your results may vary.
 
 

25 Feb 2003

 
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Food Critics Blamed For Top Chef's Suicide

The suicide of famed chef Bernard Loiseau sent shock waves through France today and sparked condemnation from fellow culinary masters who accused the countryÕs all-powerful food critics of pushing him over the edge.

The news sent the gastronomic world into mourning and quickly sparked debate about the merits of restaurant guidesÕ rating systems which chefs await each year with bated breath.

---

Dude, lighten up!


 
 

20 Feb 2003

 
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Suicide wave

After Bria's return from Seattle, land of the defeatist attitude, welfare dependency and the methadone clinic, I'm beginning to wonder about the Pacific northwest.

Here's the dreary story of a real-life "Final Destination" (from Oregon).


 
 

05 Feb 2003

 
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"Obesity Friendly" Ambulance Unveiled in Portland

The ranks of the obese in Oregon have swelled (hee hee) from 11 percent in 1990 to 21 percent in 2000. "We felt it was within our purview (?) to make an accommodation for these people," said some guy in charge.

Just skip the ambulance and build that town a gym

The retrofitted ambulance uses ramps and a winch to get big tubs of goo with uncontrollable food urges on board. The unit carries a flat cot that can hold up to 1,000 pounds and a wider gurney because the patients flab hangs over both sides on the regular version.
shudder... only in America!

Hospitals expect to use the unit at least twice a week. The new ambulance will be more comfortable for heavy patients "and will help preserve their dignity."
Top three punchlines follow:
1) so they can eat it later
2) Isn't it a little late for that?
3) (Dignity last seen twelve thousand doughnuts ago)

These are just a couple of highlights from a seriously goofy article.
I wonder if it's stocked with Twinkies and coated with a foul-tasting substance to prevent patients from eating the vehicle.


 
 

03 Feb 2003

 
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Obviously, A Major Malfunction

An acquaintance of mine wrote this article about the Challenger disaster and it's aftermath (one of many he wrote over the years), outlining the turf wars and boneheadedness that has defined NASA.

I read the article Saturday, and emailed him a note.

Here's part of his response dated yesterday:

>>
based on what i have heard over the years from engineers in nasa, the kind of examination of the remaining shuttles that is likely to take place will reveal some breathtaking problems and evidence of a return to the "it didn't crash before, so we can live with it" mentality toward problems. i suspect that there is close to a 50 percent chance that the shuttle fleet will be grounded permanently.

which would not necessarily be a bad thing, if it leads to a reappraisal of what we seek to do in space and how we seek to do it. our abandonment of the moon is in my view (and that of many in nasa) unforgivable, as is our fixation on low earth orbit. sadly, any such reappraisal will be threaded through a matrix of turf defense and similarly typical and irrelevent behaviors. but we might just get the right outcome anyway.

best,

dep
<<

UPDATE From Dennis:

>>
i've put together my three major shuttle stories in one place; the second and third ones make me wonder whether nasa will truly be as forthcoming as they've promised. they're here

<<



 
 

28 Jan 2003

 
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A Legster-Gram?


North Pole, Alaska, resident LaMara Lane thought a package she received before Christmas might be a LobsterGram, a popular food gift in the Arctic.

To her horror, the package contained one of her long-dead father's leg bones and samples of his body tissue that were sent to her home by a Houston DNA testing laboratory, she stated in a federal lawsuit filed in a Galveston court Monday.


 
 

27 Jan 2003

 
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India Warns Pakistan Of 'Erasure'

No not the band...

India's defense minister warned Pakistan it would be "erased from the world map" if Islamabad used nuclear weapons against India, as heavy shelling pounded their frontier on Monday.

Good thing Bush pauses in his war rhetoric every now and then to take a leadership position on hot issues like these. (not)


 
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Sons say they dismembered Mom after watching Sopranos

Further Proof That TV is Tearing Some Families Apart. Literally.



via Drudgereport - I know, I know


 
 

24 Jan 2003

 
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First Al Hirschfield, Now Bill Mauldin

Not a good week for culture...


 
 

20 Jan 2003

 
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Al Hirschfield Dies


Al Hirschfeld, whose graceful, fluid caricatures captured the essence of performers from Charlie Chaplin to Jerry Seinfeld, died Monday. He was 99.




 
 

16 Jan 2003

 
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Chop Chop


Home-made guillotine makes quick work of sleeping owner...


 
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More Than You Ever Wanted to Know About a Dead BeeGee

For the record:

veráruácose (v-rks) also veráruácous (-ks)
adj.

Covered with warts or wartlike projections.

via The Smoking Gun


 
 

12 Jan 2003

 
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Died Online


Make sure your committed co-workers and friends haven't...


 
 

10 Jan 2003

 
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Darwin Award Nominee

In a bizarre case of road rage, a 20-year-old Poolville man was struck and killed north of Weatherford on Monday night after he exited his car and kicked and pounded another vehicle...

Peaster volunteer fire Capt. Mike Norris, who responded to the accident scene, said: "To me, it was a big case of the brain not functioning. Road rage is that way."

via obscure store


 
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Whay do they call them safety rails?



 
 

06 Jan 2003

 
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TV Detectors Threaten 8th Century Saint


Germany's television licence fee agency has apologised for sending an angry letter demanding payment from an eighth century saint.


 
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Death Clock

Here's a fun little activity!


 
 

23 Dec 2002

 
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My name is making me kill

can't...
stop...
killing....
must obey... middle name...

- Conan Wayne Hale, 20, a triple-homicide suspect in Portland, Ore.
- Escaped murderer Michael Wayne Thompson
- Danny Wayne Owens, 38, was arrested in Birmingham, Ala., for murdering a neighbor.
- Serial killer John Wayne Gacy of Illinois
- Serial killer Elmer Wayne Henley of Texas
- Recently executed Arizona murderer Jimmy Wayne Jeffers
- Sadistic Louisiana murderer Robert Wayne Sawyer
- The Ohio Aryan Nations member caught with freeze-dried bubonic plague bacteria, Larry Wayne Harris
- The Oklahoma rapist recently sentenced to 21,000 years in prison, Allan Wayne McLaurin
- John Wayne Bobbitt
- Frequent house8 contributor John "Wayne" Hettwer (just kidding...)


 
 

20 Dec 2002

 
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12 Dec 2002

 
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yet another moment of silence


Mary Hansen of Stereolab, killed Monday in an accident while riding her bicycle.

Thanks for the music, M.




via launch


 
 

10 Dec 2002

 
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Courtney? Man, is She Pissed...

Speaking of hooker bitches and blow...


 
 

02 Dec 2002

 
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Dead or Alive?


 
 

27 Nov 2002

 
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Aftermath


I saw their billboard on the way into the city this morning.

Their billboard, like their site, is... well, go have a look.


 
 

22 Nov 2002

 
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Is that a valve bag applicator or are you just happy to see me?

I edited this entire website after being laid-off from Organic. Is it just me, or is this stuff really sexy?


 
 

03 Nov 2002

 
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Playboy Gets Bang-up Response To Last Wish

You can have a portion of this man's fortune, but it's going to cost you. If any of the ladies of House8 decide to do this... er, him... I get half as a finder's fee.

 
 

31 Oct 2002

 
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Jam Master Jay, 1965-2002


 
 

28 Oct 2002

 
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Dying for a burrito...

A man was found dead in the roof vent of The Famous Burrito, a restaurant on Chicago's South Side today. He was removed and taken to the hospital, where he was pronounced "extra spicy."

It's not clear how long he was stuck in the vent. You want a Dos Equis with that?


 
 

10 Oct 2002

 
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Lemon juice = HIV Killer?

There's got to be a "When life gives you lemons..." in there somewhere.

Update: Q sez: "...make a battery."

via boing boing


 
 

17 Sep 2002

 
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Snack-tacular Deaths in China

A man jealous of his business rival has confessed to poisoning the competitor's breakfast snacks.

Chen Zhengping told police he was driven by hatred of the owner of a thriving fast food store. Residents were shocked to see customers at the tiny store collapse, some bleeding from the mouth and ears, after eating fried dough sticks, sesame cakes and sticky rice balls there.

Chen put poison in the eatery's water supply and noodles hoping to give breakfast-eaters stomach trouble. When he saw people dying, he fled the city by train.
The number of dead is between 38 and 49.


 
 

07 Sep 2002

 
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Female serial killer set to die Oct 9

Aileen Wuornos, a prostitute who killed six men along Florida highways and was one of the nation's first known female serial killers now has an execution date.
She claimed all the men tried to rape her, but the crime scenes indicated nothing like that.
You're probably aware of this creepy woman. Her story has been portrayed in two movies, three books and an opera.


 
 

03 Sep 2002

 
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The DDPI

After our cemetery trip this weekend, we encountered the powerful and influential DDPI group. We are now on their site. The link above is all the pix they took Sat night.

This link is the only pic we are in. It's suitable for desktop use. Note the suspicious dot at the top of the photo: Absolute proof that a dot-shaped ghost was watching us.


 
 

27 Aug 2002

 
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Fetus Removed From Boy

Medical oddities, read with caution.


 
 

22 Aug 2002

 
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Diamonds Are a Widow's Best Friend

A company in Chicago claims that it has developed a process for turning cremated human remains into diamonds that can be worn as jewellery


 
 

20 Aug 2002

 
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Al Qaeda: Meany Puppy Killers

No, I'm not making light of anyone abusing and killing animals for fun and profit. And the idea of weapons of this nature in these fuckers' hands is scary as hell.

But if we could all step back from this for just a second and think about how Onion-esque these headlines are...


 
 

19 Aug 2002

 
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One Little Elephant Went Out to Play

One Little Elephant Went Out to Play
Out on a Spider's Web One Day

-----------

This is your elephant. This is your elephant on drugs. Get it?


 
 

13 Aug 2002

 
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Teen Net Romance Ends in Brutal Murder, Arson

"You know, I've just had this weird feeling about them since (the kid accused of murder) moved in," she said. "I can't really explain it. ... There was just something that didn't seem right, something that made me uncomfortable."

----------

Aside from being the creepiest and most detailed crime blotter story I've ever read, I note that it has 5 bylines (they must get paid by the word at this paper)

I'm sorry Karen, but there'll be no more IM's from me ...


 
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Top-Earning Dead Celebrities

Take Tupac Shakur. The infamous rapper was gunned down in Las Vegas six years ago at age 25, but last year he sold 2.7 million albums and earned an estimated $7 million. In fact, Shakur--who had recorded some 200 unreleased tracks at the time of his murder--has put out more albums dead than alive.

 
 

11 Aug 2002

 
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Blueberry Pie Apparently Sparks Murder-suicide

I like mine with vanilla ice cream but it ain't worth dying over...

 
 

03 Aug 2002

 
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TV Coverage of 9/11 Online

Interesting links to video of the news of 911 as it happened. Get horrified all over again.


 
 

30 Jul 2002

 
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Dead Dentist Story Takes Bizarre Turn!

The case of the Friendswood dentist accused of murdering her husband by repeatedly running over him has taken more twists as tales of spying and allegations about the "other woman" emerged from court papers and an episode of Sally Jessy Raphael.


The Chronicle has learned that in April 2001, the mistress, Gail Bridges, and friend Julie Knight appeared in disguise and with their voices altered on a segment titled, My Husband Spies on Me!

--------

It's an update on this story, and a nice companion piece to this one from Johnny JPEG. Texas Trash! Woo Hoo!


 
 

26 Jul 2002

 
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Livid Wife Leaves Car Parked On Husband

Definitely not the Brady Bunch....

 
 

25 Jul 2002

 
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Maybe we should send Billy Bob, just in case.

And while we're at it, Bruce Willis, too. Yippie Ki Yay, Muthafucka!

20 bucks to the first band that renames itself "2002 NT7." I've got it in my wallet right now, I swear.

via Everywhere


 
 

23 Jul 2002

 
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Well, it's no Q deer story...

but when Winnie sends you a story, you post it, dammit!

NICE, France (AP) -- More than 400 sheep leapt to their deaths this weekend in mountainous southeastern France -- likely a panicked attempt to escape from a pack of wolves, police said.

The sheep have lain in a ravine near the Mercantour national park since Saturday, and police were burning them on Tuesday. Officials discovered wolf bite marks on some of the carcasses.

Police said there was no risk of contamination to the water supply.

The local agriculture department started a procedure to reimburse the owner, who lost 406 animals -- nearly his entire herd.

via Winnie


 
 

17 Jul 2002

 
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Legend of Famed Horny Toad Lives On

No ordinary reptile, Old Rip was entombed in a makeshift time capsule 105 years ago and emerged alive three decades later.

It's the friggin' Jesus Toad!


 
 

09 Jul 2002

 
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Pioneering Gnutella Developer Dead at 25

Gene Kan died as a result of an accident, according to a statement released Monday by his employer, Sun Microsystems Inc. At the request of his family, no other details of his June 29 death were being released, Sun officials said.

-------
Here's an interesting interview with Gene Kan...


 
 

23 Jun 2002

 
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Pastor Beaten After Blunt Eulogy


Reverend Calls Deceased 'Drunkard And A Fornicator'

The pastor was no lover of sinners, like the Rector of Stiffkey.

Nor would he be fond of The Earl of Kimberley .

-------------------

As for me, I'm following the "Thumper Rule" from Bambi:

Thumper's Mother: Now, Thumper, what did your Father tell you?

Thumper: If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

-------------------

The modern equivalent, of course, is "If you can't say anything nice, come sit next to me"...


 
 

22 Jun 2002

 
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Dear Ann Landers

Please God, I'm only 83!


 
 

31 May 2002

 
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Should Climbers Foot the Bill?

Lawmakers across the country are questioning whether climbers should foot the bill for their own rescues, which can cost quite a bit. (No word on who pays for the $13 million helicopter). Oregon is currently the only state where climbers, on a case-by-case basis, are actually fined.
Fuller Mt. Hood story details comedy of errors.


 
 

30 May 2002

 
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File under: "People of Means Putting Themselves in Harms Way, then Requiring Costly Rescues"

Oregon / Just Now - 7 (or 9) mountain climbers have fallen into a crevase 11,000 ft up Mt Hood. Three are known to be dead. Two helicopters arrived to rescue them and one just crashed and rolled down the mountain live on TV.

When wealthy people seeking bragging rights pay to hurt themselves, they should be...
poked with sticks
left to die as a cautionary device to other shallow rich people
pay for the rescue including $13 million for the Blackhawk helicopter.

Have 7 welfare moms ever asked the government for $13 million or required the army to kill themselves coming to their rescue?


 
 

26 Apr 2002

 
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Left-eye is dead

Left-Eye from TLC was killed in a car crash in Honduras!!!


 
 

10 Mar 2002

 
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PETA Officials Collide With Deer

It doesn't say whether they cooked it up, but that doesn't seem an unreasonable suggestion...

-----------------
Relevant passage:

"On three separate occasions during the past deer rut, which normally coincides with the Maryland and Virginia hunting seasons that I participate in, I spotted bucks with their noses to the ground, ignoring everything and everybody as they followed the scent of a female."

------------------

QTip sez it sounds like any given weekend in Wrigleyville to me...

via Drudge Report (I know, I know)


 
 

07 Mar 2002

 
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Hit-and-run Victim Trapped For Two Days

Mallard told police she had been drinking and using ecstasy the night she struck the man. The impact hurled him headfirst through the windshield, leaving his broken legs protruding onto the hood.

With the man still lodged in the windshield, the woman panicked and drove a few miles to her Fort Worth home, parked her car in the garage and lowered the door as Biggs, 37, began to plead for help, according to a police statement.

Investigators told the newspaper that Biggs received no aid for the next two or three days and remained lodged in the windshield, bleeding and slowly going into shock. Mallard told police she periodically went into the garage, apologizing to him but doing nothing about his cries for help.


 
 

08 Feb 2002

 
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Top DUI Cop Was Drunk When He Died

One of the top drunken-driving enforcement officers with the Lake County Sheriff's Office had nearly three times the legal level of alcohol in his blood when he died in a one-car accident last year, officials said Thursday.

Sheriff's Deputy Philip John Santucci, who was a member of the sheriff's accident-investigations unit, was driving about 30 m.p.h. over the speed limit and was not wearing a seat belt when he died Dec. 19.


< -snip- >

"I'm not good with poetic words, but I will say that we all learned a lot from Phil Santucci in life," Eckenstahler said. "Unfortunately, we learned even more in his death."


 
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Millions of Chocolate Bunnies Perish in Blaze


ZURICH (Reuters) - A fire in a Swiss warehouse destroyed between 3.5 and four million Easter chocolate bunnies, Swiss retail chain Migros said on Friday.

The fire swept a central distribution warehouse containing nearly half of the total output needed to cover demand at Migros, Switzerland's largest retailer.

Suppliers Chocolat Frey and Migros's Midor have cranked up production, pledging to manufacture the bunnies "around the clock, seven days a week, through March 28."



 
 

30 Nov 2001

 
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Jack Lemmon, part 2

To all the Jack Lemmon fans I've offended in the past, I'd just like to say I have no opinion on the death of ex-Beatle George Harrison.


 
 

23 Oct 2001

 
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Gorgo Speaks His Mind

Gorgo [to a young Web professional]: hey, I'm going to miss you when I murder you and rape your dead body.
Young Web professional: ewww. well, if you must, I'd rather be skull fucked.
[End of conversation.]


 
 

16 Oct 2001

 
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Death on a Very Small Planet

This has been making the weblog rounds.

via Doc Searls


 
 

09 Oct 2001

 
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Slate Explainer: What's Osama Talking About?

What's With Bin Laden's two-front war? After the collapse of the Soviet Union, Bin Laden dropped the Russians as "Public Enemy No. 1" and focused on the United States. Explainer doesn't want to make too much of this World War I theory, but it's possible that Bin Laden thinks he defeated the Soviet Union. If the end of World War I is the central historical moment to Bin Laden...

-snip-

On September 11, 1922, the British mandate came into force over Palestine. ("Mandate" in this sense means a commission given to a nation to govern a territory.) The British mandate lasted until 1948, when the state of Israel was established.

via My brother....


 
 

25 Sep 2001

 
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Saudi Arabia cuts diplomatic ties with the Taliban

The Taliban official, Mohammad Hussein Mostassed, told the Qatar-based news channel Al Jazeera that a clash with the United States would be a clash of values.

"The Americans are fighting so they can live and enjoy the material things in this life. But we are fighting so we can die in the cause of God," he said.

What are these guys going to do when the vast majority of the Muslim world leave them behind? (Or have they already?) How long before Pakistan cuts diplomatic ties with them?

I suppose that we can consider ourselves very lucky that our religious wackos' favorite pastimes include sticking their foot in their mouth, as opposed to sanctioning terrorism...

Update
Here's another article (via the excellent one.point.zero) from the Telegraph entitled "The Americans love Pepsi Cola, but we love death." Lovely. I'm sorry, but what the fuck is wrong with these people? I can understand abhoring the U.S. for being a global bully. I can understand other nations being pissed off at our government for the many stupid, duplicitous, and hypocritical foreign policies we've managed to spew out over the decades. I'm not trying to say the U.S. doesn't have innocent blood on its hands. But it doesn't sound like these nutjobs are interested in making this world a better place. It seems like they're really into death and carnage and pain for everyone, including themselves.


"War is our best hobby. The sound of guns firing is like music for us. We cannot live without war. We have no other way except jihad"

Oh, and by the way, I hate Pepsi.


 
 

07 Sep 2001

 
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"I'm not a midget, I'm a dwarf, you a--hole!"

Just days after Motero outed his website, Hank the Angry, Drunken Dwarf is dead.


 
 

07 Aug 2001

 
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Lymphoma didn't kill Joey Ramone; Carson "Carcinogen" Daly killed Joey Ramone

Joey Ramone died on April 15, 2001, in a world where the bloated, boring, blonde-and-blue-eyed records he and his colleagues flipped-off are more popular than Peter Frampton could ever have imagined. Our culture is crumbling; a pop stake was driven through poor Joey's heart. Making the Band documents the corporate manufacture of O-Town, whose album was subsequently certified platinum, providing further testament to the public's inability to think or feel.

via *spark-online


 
 

03 Aug 2001

 
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Brian Brindley


BRIAN BRINDLEY, who has died aged 69, was a flamboyant Anglo-Catholic canon whose extravagant tastes would have been more easily accommodated in Renaissance Rome than in the postwar Church of England.


< snip >

His house in Brighton was, if anything, even more sumptuously decorated than the Royal Pavilion, on which it was partly modelled (and on whose owner he partly modelled himself). Brindley spent vast sums of money reproducing the Pavilion's exquisite chinoiserie, and commissioned a splendid panoramic mural of the building extending over three drawing room walls.

He died surrounded by a dozen of his closest friends, celebrating his 70th birthday at a seven-course dinner at the Athenaeum; he suffered a heart attack between the dressed crab and the boeuf en croute.

< snip >

This obit is must-reading, en-toto, for all House8 members. There'll be a test Monday.


 
 

02 Aug 2001

 
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The Murder of Carlo Giuliani

To stay on the subject of mr. gomez's last entry, I'd like to blog this tragedy. Was he looking for trouble? Did he deserve such a death? You decide. I didn't know much about the situation in Genoa until i came across this. It drove me to read a few articles and, although I am not an expert, I still feel fucking horrible about what took place during the G8 protests. View photos only after lunch.

via supersphere


 
 

29 Jul 2001

 
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BOY'S SUICIDE ON INTERNET

It opened with the message: "Hi and welcome to the
homepage of my death. I assume that if you are
reading this, then I have died."

Warning to all you angst-filled dotcom worker bees.

The internet can kill!


 
 

23 Jul 2001

 
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Ronald Gay gets life for shooting gays

Gay, a Vietnam veteran, who told police he was angered by jokes about his last name was sentenced Monday to four life terms for a shooting rampage in a gay bar that killed one and left six others wounded. Gay told authorities he had become obsessed with a mission: to make all homosexuals move to San Francisco, which he thought would stop the spread of AIDS.

Gosh... he wouldn't have had any goals if his name was Smith.


 
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Undersea Film Reveals Secrets of the Hood

60 years ago the cannons roared, and the HMS Hood was lost.

"Our immediate reaction has been one of surprise by the damage suffered by Hood," Mr Mearns said yesterday.

"It is far worse than any of us had expected."

Note: It sunk, didn't it?


 
 

13 Jul 2001

 
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Poor widdle puppy...

SAN JOSE, California (AP) -- A man who tossed a fluffy little dog to its death in a bout of road rage last year was sentenced to the maximum Friday: three years behind bars.

If there was ever an injustice in the world... someone buy this guy a beer!


via Al-Dank


 
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God Really Hates Bad Poetry

A young couple who fell in love as they worked together as youth ministers were killed Wednesday night when their car was broadsided as it left the parking lot of the Christian Life Center. They had told his parents they wanted to talk about something important on Saturday.
"We found in his art book what they were going to talk to us about," Amos' mother, Linda Amos, said yesterday. "It was a poem."
The note, handwritten on daisy-embellished stationery, read:

    I love my mom.
    I love my dad.
    You must know something that makes me glad.
    Though I think you already know
    Patricia and I love each other so.
    I'm going to keep her.

    (retching noises)


 
 

11 Jul 2001

 
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Excuse me while I vomit

I don't consider myself "faint-hearted," but DAMN are these pictures of Ferrari wreck victims nasty... no one else thought i should blog it, but w.t.h., i thought i'd share the wealth.

via ian w


 
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Chicago's 19th century torture castle (100+ victims)

Herman Mudgett had a torture castle on the south side with vats of acid, secret passages, hidden chutes that ended in the basement, sealed rooms with gas-jets, trapdoors, a dissecting table, surgeons' tools and even an invention he said could stretch a human to twice their height.

He nabbed young ladies as they came to Chicago's World Fair in 1893, stripped their carcasses and sold their bones to medical schools. A very evil guy.

Why hasn't this been made into a movie?


 
 

09 Jul 2001

 
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Webvan Closes

Fucked Company is observing this solemn occasion with Haikus.


    extra loaves of bread
    I did not order this stuff
    lucky day for ducks

    Where is the Webvan?
    Where is my Count Chocula?
    Empty street mocks me

    Aeron chairs, laptops
    being stolen as we speak.
    Two weeks severance.

    Will the webvan guy
    Ever be back in my hood
    I still have your crates

    Webvan done closed down
    'cause of their cockamamie
    faith-based bidness plan.
    (President George Bush)

    Eight Haiku pages.
    Clever; how superior!
    But your firm is next.


 
 

05 Jul 2001

 
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Stench warfare and stink bombs-U.S. secret weapon?

LONDON (Reuters) - The Pentagon is developing a stink bomb to drive away enemy troops or hostile crowds, the magazine New Scientist has said.

Stench warfare could form a key part of the U.S. non-lethal weapons programme and provide police with an extra means of dealing with the kind of rioting that has disrupted recent summits of world leaders.


 
 

02 Jul 2001

 
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The Jesus Test

Could have been better executed, but just blasphemous enough to be funny... heathens like John will love it!

via Liz H


 
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whosaliveandwhosdead.com

What a great URL, but in my opinion, a close second only to celebritydeathbeeper.com, a morbidly wonderful service that let's you be nearly-the-first-to-know when the famous and infamous kick the bucket.




via Metafilter


 
 

28 Jun 2001

 
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This one goes out to you, John.

Because we all know how much you will miss Jack and his continued work "playing every ineffective clueless Willy Loman role he could find."


Jack Lemmon's film credits

Jack Lemmon, Super Start of the 60's

Jack Lemmon's Hollywood

Jack Lemmon: America's Everyman

Jack Lemmon: Reel Classics


 
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Boo Hoo! - Jack Lemmon is dead

One of my least favorite actors. Two of his "comedies" are indistinguishable from torture. No one may speak to me about how mean I am, until they sit through both of these crimes against entertainment.
Prisoner of 2nd Avenue

The Out-of Towners
There's no telling what would happen if you tried to watch them both in a single sitting. I suspect your autonomic nervous system would shut off circulation to your limbs in order to save itself.
Q agrees with me.


 
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Dwayne!? Are You Dead?! Yes, Carolyn Sue! Ack! Me Too!

PRINTER, Ky., 10:21 a.m. EDT June 28, 2001 -- An Eastern Kentucky love story has touched the hearts of all who knew Dwayne and Carolyn Sue Carroll.

Dwayne was working at a grave site Tuesday evening in a Floyd County family plot when he collapsed and died of a heart attack. When Carolyn Sue found his body, she too was stricken and died.

Carolyn Sue's brother, Gary Robinson, said that the two had been inseparable during 18 years of marriage. He added: "I can only dream of having somebody love me like that."

When the 49-year-old Carolyn Sue didn't hear from her 48-year old husband for a few hours, she and two others went to look for him. When his body was found, she fell to her knees in prayer.

Moments later, as an ambulance was arriving, Carolyn Sue collapsed and died. The gravesite was being made ready for a tombstone the Carrolls had ordered. It was engraved with their names.

Both had been under treatment for heart conditions.