Step on it!

I'm researching some odd logging technology for my thesis, and ran across this creepy machine today. You've got to see it in action.
It will have a recurring role in my nightmares starting tonight!

Anyone still post here?

um.

This clip needs no introduction. Ok then.

Oh My G....

Although I've been pretty shocked by a number of stories* since my return from France, Keith Richards snorting his father's ashes takes the gold medal.

It's one thing to snort your father ashes. It's another thing to feel so few of society's constraints that you care-freely release this as a press item.

* specifics to follow...

Finally! Pancakes & Sausage...on a stick!

America: continuing to push the envelope of what can technically be defined as food.

Mmmmm. Tastes like Biblical Prophecy & Caramel!

What's inside this candy bar, that tempted me in the metro today?

a) lunchmeat!
b) the dead sea scrolls
c) some lesser-known parchment, probably egyptian
d) a free tapeworm
e) other ______________

T is for Texas, D is for Death

Huge Campaign Finance Savings Coming Soon To An Election Near You

Politicians soon will be able to divert campaign war chests to a different focus: Finding the best people available to rig the local Diebold voting machines.

Apparently all it takes is a screwdriver. Awesome.

For your Consideration

The USB teddy bear... guaranteed to terrify your young ones.

(This entry provided by Nora's request)

yeecchh...

Very creepy McDonalds Ad from India.
The message: "Just opened, near Kimaya Kothrud. I'm lovin' it."

The Iran Plans

Skidmark-inducing piece on Iran's nuclear program(s), and what the U.S. may do about it. This is not good.

"The bottom line is that Iran cannot become a nuclear-weapons state. The problem is that the Iranians realize that only by becoming a nuclear state can they defend themselves against the U.S. Something bad is going to happen."

No candy for me, thanks.

Have you seen the Skittles beard commercial yet?

Seems designed so it can't be ignored.
creepy...
gross.

Dear bereaved relative of (insert name of deceased)

Families of those who died in (insert name of disaster or terrorist attack) were sent a form letter and transcription of their (insert relation)'s final 911 calls without any prior notification that the calls had been made. One woman fainted in an elevator, after reading what she thought was an unimportant piece of mail, but turned out to be her husband's final words.

Your Tax Dollars At Work

As expected, more photos from Abu Ghraib (or, as Dubya prefers, "Aboo Gareff") are all over the Internets. They are burly.

Guardian Unlimited

uruknet.info

How much is 69 plus 10%, Trigger?

The very horsey*, very-sunken-eyed, very stoned Heidi Fleiss has announced she's opening a male brothel in Nevada.

Somebody feed this gal a carrot.

(*as Carl would say)

Dick Cheney, fire-breathing monster

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrh! dickzilla - must - have- fresh - blood!

this is a few days old, but a good read if you want further proof that the VP is a malicious scumbag with no regard for the Geneva Convention.

This Land Was Their Land

From Operation Truth: Here is a map which shows the hometown of every serviceman or woman killed in Afghanistan and Iraq.

"While some areas appear to have higher casualty rates than others (and are, by the way, more heavily populated), there is not a state or region that has not been affected."

Clicking each dot opens a window with information on the individual who has died.

Creepy

The BTK killer abruptly pled guilty this morning to decades of Kansas serial killings which started with the killing of the entire Otero family.

Pillar of the Community
In a seemingly irreversible trend, Rader had been involved in church leadership for 30 years and just before his arrest was elected church council president. (He was also a former Boy Scout leader)

OK I felt that one!

Our building just spent ten seconds swaying to an earthquake (5.3 in San Bernardino) felt all the way to San Diego. We're way up on the ninth floor. First very quite then nervous laughter in the office. Feels like being seasick...

Last night San Fran had a tsunami advisory. Pretty active these days.

Creepy.

Lion Mutilates 42 Midgets in Cambodian Ring-Fight

"The fight was called in only 12 minutes, after which 28 fighters were declared dead, while the other 14 suffered severe injuries including broken bones and lost limbs, rendering them unable to fight back."

George and Abdullah sitting in a tree...

When you're ready to find the love of your life...

Check out oHarmony.

When Chimps Attack II

Fred Durst shows you his 'O' face (WARNING: Spyware-laden link. Proceed at your own risk. Thanks, Nora).

WARNING: NSFW. Actually, not safe for anyone with the gift of sight.

More
everywhere
else.

Leg Nipple!

A skin graft gone wack. The owner of this particular leg nipple claims it's just like a real one and responds to "rubbing".

Scared of Santa Gallery

The 1,420 Calorie Monster Thickburger

A self-described "monument to decadence," the Monster Thickburger consists of two slabs of beef (one-third pound each), three slices of cheese, four strips of bacon and a generous dollop of mayonnaise on top, and the whole thing is nestled between two sesame-seed buns.

Which are buttered.

Available at Hardees

Terrifying Crap

Looks like an old iXL favorite has started up again. New(ish) listings are appearing on Disturbing Auctions.com!

I am without words for this ceramic piece which I am calling shit-faced baby with elephantitus. Your old favorites like Flamboyant Clown and Really Ugly Witch Doll are still there.

Make this the worst Xmas ever with a gift from Disturbing Auctions.com!

Thank you, Smoking Gun...

...for Bill O'Reilly's sex-capades, hot off the presses. Seriously, this goes into really graphic details about the douchebag's low-rent Caribbean vacation fantasies. Not for the faint of heart.
(via Zena, who got a great reaction out of Ludacris)

Oh. My. God.

Okay, I have to be honest here. I've been going back and forth and back and forth on whether or not Dubya is really as dumb as he appears, or if it's all just a good ol' boy act.

Exhibit #29845 for the former: The President of the United States' explanation of tribal sovereignty.

Wow. It's almost as though the words hurt coming out.

via tmn

Eeeee-heh-hee...

Finally someone has put 2 and 2 together and produced a creepy Michael Jackson Halloween mask

I brought home some friends from the campsite!

Chiggers first show up as annoying red bumps. An itch begins. It grows. More hard red welts surface. From your feet and ankles upward, and especially at those tender locations your mother told not to scratch in public, a maddening itch takes hold.

Savage scratching begins. Every welt becomes a persistent, exquisitely itching preoccupation that continues to irritate for days and even weeks. You probably recognize these symptoms of chigger bites. Yet we never see the culprits responsible for this summertime agony. What are chiggers? Why do they bite us? How can we stop that horrible itching?

Yet another reason the terrorists hate us

I'm not sure how, but I'm certain we're responsible for this.

Thanks Ryan, I think.

Slip n Slide

A customer of the Motel 6 chain is accused of coating nearly every available surface in his room with petroleum jelly, including mattresses, bedding, a television set, furniture, carpeting and towels.

When police arrived, they found 14 empty petroleum jelly containers and numerous pornographic magazines in the trash can, and the room's fine lines and wrinkles appeared to be visibly reduced. Police found the culprit a short while later, also glimmering from head to toe in petroleum jelly.

Disgusting

I missed the 60 Minutes II piece on prisoner mistreatment in Iraq, but the accompanying article is pretty disturbing.

One of the soldiers facing court martial, Army Reserve Staff Sgt. Chip Frederick, is a reservist who is a prison guard from Virginia. Frederick is pleading not guilty, despite photos like these (Warning: Possibly NSFW, and definitely disturbing) yet claims no personal responsiblity in these events due to a lack of "rules and regulations" on how exactly to run a prison from his commanding officers. WHA?!?!

"Well, they never said we couldn't make 'em strip and sit on top of 'em!"

America's finest...

More Salad Mayhem

In the continuing effort to promote the Adkins diet, some retaurants are adding a twist to the boring old salad. Mmm! Other fixin's include "hair noodles" and Spicy Bile Sauce.

"I fought Bush's pre-emptive Oil War and all I got was this massive disability..."

What does a usefully-naive, blind or legless 20-year-old Iraq invasion vet look like? (photo essay). The text offers young adults cheering their own politically-ignorant patriotism, with complete naivete, and an inability(a resistance) to frame their experience within the larger, fucked-up picture.

"I lost my left leg, just below the knee. Lost my eyesight. I never had a health problem my entire life. Now I'm going to be seeing doctors every couple of months for the rest of my life. I just went and got fitted for my hearing aide.
It was the best experience of my life. (!!?!) Twenty-one years old and I've seen a couple of countries. I've been pretty much everywhere and done everything. I got to play with mines, got to see how the Army works. I got to interact with people of another culture, people who live their lives 100 percent different. That's something that one in a million people will ever get to see in their lifetime—another culture."

What a morass.

You Know You Want to Go Sing!

I mean... who could resist desktop Karoake?

Which Is Funnier?

That the wife of embattled polka music star Jan Lewan stole the 1998 Mrs. Pennsylvania title, or that Flathead County Sheriff Jim Dupont thinks there's a serial horse rapist loose in he community.

Of the latter, "He left his boots and a bottle of hand lotion behind," Dupont said.

TV Star's Baby Handed To Gorillas

Television presenter Donna Air and her zoo-owner boyfriend Damian Aspinall intend to place their daughter in the care of a gorilla.

The couple plan to put Freya, who was born in September, in the gorilla enclosure at Howletts Zoo near Canterbury, Kent.

They will then let her be carried off by the female of the group.

Neither parent has any qualms about letting their daughter be taken off despite five keepers being killed by animals at Howletts and its sister park, Port Lympne, since 1980.

Continue reading "TV Star's Baby Handed To Gorillas" »

I hope there isn't another Steve Bartman living in Chicago

The Smoking Gun outs Chicago's #1 fan.

The Fan

Green turtleneck.

Speaking of the straights...

Montana freaks want to watch the Queer Eye gang die of AIDS on television.

via kottke

God bless AmeriKKKa

Texas: "since the general feeling was people were offended, we decided to change it..."

ooooooooops

general feeling, ie "some of us racist jackasses down here didn't mind seeing that in it's full glory once again"

I am betting that they repainted the doors so no one would notice their FOUR ton 10 commandments display.

In case of poisoning...

Read this. WARNING: Do not attempt any of the practices listed on this site. You will likely have your ass handed to you.

Buy 3 bombs and your 4th bomb is free!

I wish I was joking, but some articles on washingtonpost.com are now brought to you by Lockheed Martin, the military contractor who is pushing their Small Diameter Bomb with PNAV with the tagline: "Moving Targets have met their match / We never forget who we're working for / Lockheed Martin" (Hit 'refresh' to get the right ad, or just view the screen capture)

Who isn't looking for a good deal on a bomb with PNAV? With some new wrong-headed urge, the weapons industry values you, the third party, as a marketing/PR opportunity. Now I feel even more pride in the Yankee know-how that allows us to kill those who won't accept our gift of freedom.
God Bless America.
God Bless our Bombs.

Weight Watchers from the 70's

Fluffy mackerel pudding!

Once upon a time the world was young and the words "mackerel" and "pudding" existed far, far away from one another.

Oh, and eggs, too.

via Graf via Julie via Steve

Holding Severed Head in Place, He Defied Death

--- snip ---

He, however, kept his head attached to his body with some cloth. When no one came to help him, he drove his own vehicle for 30 km to reach a nursing home in Agra.

(Kinda like the guy who cut his arm off, but more gory)

Holy Fucking Shit

Iranians protesting religious rule in Iran SET THEMSELVES ON FIRE in France.

Warning: This is seriously burly and disturbing.

The George Bush doll

Finally a doll to legislate Barbie back into church. The page says he's "America's true action hero," so my concern over dozens of ethical lapses must be groundless.

Comes complete with a tiny shredded Bill of Rights.

Teacher's Student Lover Wins Bid to Reveal Identity

_{CREDIT: Nick Didlick, National Post}

There's so much wrong with this story, not the least of which is the choice of the photographer the paper sent to make a picture of the happy couple.

First Nude Flight Leaves Miami Bound For Cancun

"After 9/11, I didn't have any cancellations," she said. "Even after war broke out, we didn't have any cancellations on this trip. People feel safe on a flight like this."

Talk About Stones: Colorado Climber Amputates His Arm

A Colorado climber amputated his own arm Thursday, five days after becoming pinned by a boulder, and he was hiking to safety when he was spotted by searchers, authorities said.