Fluffernutter? I hardly know her!

There's an awesome media page on the Fluff site dedicated to the glory of a Fluffernutter sandwich. Try playing all the files at once for a surreal experience.

Shrug This!

If you're not aware of Ayn Rand's novels or her predatory 'philosophy' Objectivism, it will soon be unavoidable. Pitt and Jolie are filming her dopey opus "Atlas Shrugged."

Rand was a little too insane to go into here, but finally her cult has a place where they can meet each other and date, the Atlasphere. Mind you, a date between two superior beings, who extol the virtue of selfishness and whose professed goal is to separate themselves from the mediocrity-laden establishment might be different...

"There's a popular game among Objectivists – Concepts in a Hat. Participants write philosophical terms on scraps of paper and drop them into a bowl, draw two or more at random, and explain the connections. The mood can be typical of Objectivist clubs and meetings, says Mr. Zader – impersonal and esoteric in a way "that isn't exactly a chick magnet. ....men outnumber women 4 to 1 on the site."

Although children are mysteriously absent from her novels, some lucky child can now someday be told, "Your mother and I fell deeply in love after learning we shared a complete contempt for humanity..."

From this article

Man, 56, Ruins Country... Walks Away.

Rove Resigns

Viagra to sponsor Van Halen '08 tour!

Continue reading "Viagra to sponsor Van Halen '08 tour!" »

Train Almost off Tracks

Although the Whitehouse cynically timed Saddam's guilty verdict to occur two days before the coming election, Iraq has just dealyed it until after the election.
ha ha.

Last week Cheney was pro-water-boarding, this week, no. Meanwhile Bush reiterates that we don't torture. So what are the signing statements for assh*le? Has this Whitehouse ever been this conflicted packaging a message? Some new variant of Herr Goebbels technique?:
"...the primary rule: never allow the public to cool off; never admit a fault or wrong; never concede that there may be some good in your enemy; never leave room for alternatives; never accept blame; concentrate on one enemy at a time and blame him for everything that goes wrong; people will believe a big lie sooner than a little one; and if you repeat it frequently enough people will sooner or later believe it."

Freedom of Speech

Iraqis are marching in support of Hezbollah chanting all the typical favorites, Death to Israel...Death to America.

"Saddam and Bush, Two Faces of One Coin" was scrawled on Bush's effigy.

That's a loose translation. I believe another interpretation is "We will be greeted as liberators."

That's uh-spicey meatball!

While Tom Cruise is expected to return to his home planet next month, there's still time for another disastrous PR move: Tommy's gonna eat his baby's placenta!

He'll need a big box of Placenta Helper as (almost) featured in a censored SNL skit: "Placenta Helper lets you stretch your placenta into a tasty casserole. Like Placenta Romanoff--a zesty blend of cheeses makes for the zingy sauce that Russian czars commanded at palace feasts."

Congratulations Tom, if you said you're gay at this point you'd actually seem less strange.
(Thanks to Carl for the illo.)

Dick Cheney, fire-breathing monster

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrh! dickzilla - must - have- fresh - blood!

this is a few days old, but a good read if you want further proof that the VP is a malicious scumbag with no regard for the Geneva Convention.

Make your own Jebus toast

Want to make some quick cash on ebay? Just brew up some jesus toast with these easy to follow directions.

Virgin Mary Tour '05 hits Chicago

That's right, the Virgin Mary arrived in town earlier this week for an appearance, and is currently playing to a standing room only crowds.

Get there early for the best seats. B.Y.O. candles and rosary beads.

Via Yahoo News

The triumphant return of Alan Keyes!

According to Andrew's friend over at the Sun Times, Michael Sneed says Alan Keyes is considering a run for governor of Illinois.

That would be great because then Rod Blagojevich would then almost certainly be a shoe-in for reelection!

Maybe if we are lucky, we can convince Alan Keyes to run for President of the US in 2008, and then maybe a Democrat might actually win!

http://www.suntimes.com/output/sneed/cst-nws-sneed28a.html

Christian Activists, Plan B: Threats

The disintegration of the right is proceeding on schedule. Never having developed social skills, zealots are busy wearing out their welcome.

Christian evangelicals are worried their support for the president might not translate into the instant influence they expected and that their power could be short-lived, given that a number of Republicans who support abortion rights and gay rights are positioning themselves to run in 2008.
(Nelson Muntz: HA ha!)

Some evangelicals warn that the GOP will pay a price in future elections if its leaders do not deliver.
(Talk about empty threats. Somehow I don't see these goofballs throwing their votes away on liberals, to make a point. Sorry nut-jobs, yer stuck with the same lousy 2-party options the liberals have!)

In a letter to Bush sent after the election Bob Jones III, president of the Christian conservative Bob Jones University, urged Bush to eject moderates from the White House: "If you have weaklings around you who do not share your biblical values, shed them. You owe the liberals nothing. They despise you because they despise your Christ."

Link

I swear I didn't write this

I'm gonna get blamed, but it is NOT me ranting... judge for yourself:

fuckthesouth.com

The Way of the Master

Creepy Christian Kirk Cameron and a super-slick Flash site let you know exactly at what velocity your sorry ass will be plummeting into the depths of hell.

I wonder how Boner's doin'?

Does This Tron Suit Make Me Look Fat?

This is one of those sites that details every step of a completely dorky project. The finished piece isn't as impressive as this preliminary cat suit shot. More photos from all angles on the actual, long-load-time page.

The Society for the Extermination of Ewoks

Damn straight! They're breeding like rats these days. My only beef is do you really have to destroy the moon of Endor to get rid of them? Have they tried glue traps?

Score: Satan - 244, Muslim Pilgrims - 0

While most "Let's all stone Satan" events, are just good wholesome fun, Sunday's annual ritual ended in a stampede that left 244 Muslim worshipers dead.

Minister Iyad Madani said, "All precautions were taken to prevent such an incident, but this is God's will." I guess he means all precautions but actually holding a "Let's stone Satan!" event. Apparetly if everyone had stayed home God would have struck down the same 244 devotees cutting their toenails and washing their clothes.

Because Conservatives care...

...as long as you pretend you believe in their values. Machiavellian George Bush wants to spend $1.5 billion to talk the poor into getting married so he can funnel millions into religious organizations that provide premarital and marriage counseling. Religiously sanctified boning among the poor will help the douchebag sleep at night...

The usual crap: Programs that counsel gay and lesbian couples would be excluded.

Soon he'll legislate everything off TV except the Donna Reed Show and Leave it to Beaver, to move the country back to the 50's.

Bartman foul ball goes for $106,000, will be destroyed

A group of buyers that included Harry Caray's widow Dutchie bought the ball, and will destroy it on Feb. 26th during the annual toast to Harry.

Steve Bartman will be invited to the ceremony.

Not if you was the last hobbit-dork on earth...

I've griped previously about how nerdy the Lord of the Rings movies are, but the english language lacks a word that captures the magnitude of dorkiness contained in the image below; 3 fanboys attending the premiere in Jackson Michigan.

The only women this trio will ever get near are their mothers.

(jpeg shivers in revulsion...)

Turn to Objective for an Objective Christian Perspective

Oh fer fucks sake, where do we begin? This is perhaps one of the greatest sites EVER. Do not visit until you've got about an hour to kill and are wearing some sort of protection against urinating yourself.

Not to be missed: The Brainwash 'em Early Section, featuring Habu the Hindu elephant, saddened by his inability to keep track of his many gods, and (I'm not kidding) Hopsiah the Kanga-Jew.

Is it ironic that this site's Objective to reclaim Halloween sounds like a Landover Baptist article, a site they are also trying to shut down? (Rallying cry: "He didn't give his life to be mocked.")

Enjoy...

The unsaved youths today with their Power Rangers and Peekachoos and other secular heros they see on TV are very enamored with "make believe" and "role playing". This is one of the reasons that Halloween keeps getting more popular every year since it allows them to dress up as their heros. Satan uses these seemingly innocent secular costumes (often cheaply purchased in local retail stores) as gate-way costumes for the more blatantly occult garb: witches, monsters, demons, Darth Mauls, and the like.

LATEBREAKING UPDATE: DO NOT miss the extra-creepy Baby Jesus (Speakers on, kiddies!)

Please, someone confirm this is all a joke...

via Jimmy Chan

Right-wing Boer Nutjobs

Check out this crazy ass plot to take over South Africa by a bunch of Afrikaaner extremists.

via tmn

I hope there isn't another Steve Bartman living in Chicago

The Smoking Gun outs Chicago's #1 fan.

The Fan

Green turtleneck.

Well that didn't take long

PETA faxes Roy's hospital room.

via Chris

Open Letter to Gary Coleman

Talk about getting more than you bargained for:
The loss of Diff'rent Strokes left a hole in my heart that will never be repaired. I tried, oh god, I tried. I've watched every one of Todd Bridges' talk show appearances, I've rented every one of Dana Plato's porno movies, and while the porno movies are enjoyable, they don't compare to you, Todd, and Dana working together, on Diff'rent Strokes.

Real Ultimate Power

Hi, this site is all about ninjas, REAL NINJAS. This site is awesome. My name is Robert and I can't stop thinking about ninjas. These guys are cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet.

It's Mac day, BABY! (Quicktime)

Umm... just watch it. ALL of it.

via inluminent