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07 Jan 2008 |
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Not since Jimmy Dean shrunk their portions has there been a food scandal with such weighty implications. Two heavy guys have been forbidden to return to a buffet.
"I got 3 shrimp-balls and 2 frog-legs, cause two legs come to a frog unless they're cripple." Somebody rush to the aid of these two jokers.
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17 Dec 2007 |
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There's an awesome media page on the Fluff site dedicated to the glory of a Fluffernutter sandwich. Try playing all the files at once for a surreal experience.
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13 Dec 2007 |
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How many times have you wished you had a big syringe that could suck out the center of a banana, so you could pump some sugary filling into it...? Well now your most delirious banana-fueled dreams have come true with DestapaBanana(tm).
Yes, we live in a world that thought this problem needed solving.
the horror...
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21 Sep 2007 |
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While researching cereal box typography, I came across this gem.
Nothing says "Good Morning!" like a one-two sucker punch to your bowels.
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20 Oct 2006 |
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America: continuing to push the envelope of what can technically be defined as food.
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14 Sep 2006 |
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23 Aug 2006 |
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A 21 year old employee of Debells Corp, a chocolate concern, fell into a vat of viscous chocolate and underwent a two-hour nightmare last Friday. Darmin Garcia said he was pushing the chocolate down into the vat because it was stuck, when it loosened unexpectedly and he slid into the hopper.
"It was in my hair, in my ears, my mouth, everywhere," said Garcia, who has worked at the company for two years. "I felt like I weighed 900 pounds. I couldn't move."
Police and firefighters tried to free him but couldn't get him loose until the chocolate was thinned out with cocoa butter. Garcia was pronounced delicious, treated for minor injuries and released.
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28 Jul 2006 |
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Just got back from a trip to Vienna...while I was there, we went to a place called Centimeter, where you can order a 2 Meter Wurst! 200 centimeters of delicious encased meat!
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26 Jul 2006 |
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Two Words: Band Name.
I now know how I want to go out. Eatin', shittin' and swimmin' in honey.
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22 Jun 2006 |
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06 Jun 2006 |
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Remember when the French were asses for not joing us in Iraq? Well Iraq did turn out to be a giant boondoggle. Still, apologies from red-faced, American reactionaries have not been forthcoming. Humble pie must be a french dessert.
Last night, Tom Delay held his "I'm an American scumbag who's been forced out of politics" sayonara dinner at a french resturant. The article recalls other examples of Delays French-bating.
I guess he had the freedom fries.
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20 Apr 2006 |
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If you're an Average Homeboy w/ a Casio SK-1...get in on this jingle contest for Chicago's very own, Moo & Oink!
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10 Mar 2006 |
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Because sometimes you just want
a meat'normous sandwich in the morning, Burger King thoughtfully provides one.
AND everyone still drinks 2% out here! You can barely find skim milk in CA. Health-food, schmealth food.
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09 Mar 2006 |
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Now he's only a quarter of a ton. I'm inspired. I'm going to go out for lunch and eat a whole cake with extra gravy.
(unrelated photo)
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19 Jan 2006 |
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at 1,213 pounds, gets his fifteen minutes of fame on an ABC web-teaser..
This ain't him.
Watch the video.
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07 Jan 2006 |
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03 Mar 2005 |
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Chicago's 168th Birthday Celebration
March 4, 2005
Chicago Historical Society
Clark Street at North Avenue
11 a.m. - 1:00 p.m.
Free cake and ice cream!
Just don't start singing Happy Birthday or we'll be owing royalties.
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14 Dec 2004 |
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A self-described "monument to decadence," the Monster Thickburger consists of two slabs of beef (one-third pound each), three slices of cheese, four strips of bacon and a generous dollop of mayonnaise on top, and the whole thing is nestled between two sesame-seed buns.
Which are buttered.
Available at Hardees
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23 Sep 2004 |
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26 Jul 2004 |
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When I was a kid the word "breezer" was slang for "fart," as in "Ewwww, Susie had beans for lunch and she just blew a breezer!" I saw these while shopping yesterday and thought "gross!"
Now you can sooth your sore throat by eating a breezer.
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06 Jul 2004 |
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Takeru Kobayashi beat his own personal record with 53.5 hotdogs (+buns) in 12 minutes during the Nathan's Fourth of July Hot Dog eating contest.
Personally, I think Johnny Jpeg could take 'em...
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05 Mar 2004 |
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In the continuing effort to promote the Adkins diet, some retaurants are adding a twist to the boring old salad. Mmm! Other fixin's include "hair noodles" and Spicy Bile Sauce.
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19 Feb 2004 |
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Some poor nutty Frog ate $650 in coins and needles, then went to a doctor to ask why he was feelin' low. Note the fact that he ate both French currency and euros.
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23 Jan 2004 |
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Possibly the greatest video link since Lightning Bolt! Lightning Bolt! Lightning Bolt!
Bikini'd models cavorting with various types of lunchmeats and dancing around like idiots. Off Boing Boing, so chances are you'll have to be patient. It is worth the wait.
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22 Jan 2004 |
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This photo has nothing to do with the story...
Long John Silver's First to Capitalize on Mars Exploration with Out-of-This-World Offer, Sets Sights on First Seafood Restaurant on Mars...
Q sez read the fine print...
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28 Dec 2003 |
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The Mad Cow in Washington State was traced to a herd in Canada.
See! Kyle's mom was right.
Graf and I can't give blood because we lived in the UK for more than 6 months and there is the (however incredibly slight) potential of being Creutzfeldt-Jakob carriers.
Eh, we all gotta die of somethin. Pass the Filet Mignon...
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15 Sep 2003 |
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Buzzed by flying cheeseburger; laser pointers fail to show; still crapping pants and drinking water.
via fark
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13 Aug 2003 |
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Fluffy mackerel pudding!
Once upon a time the world was young and the words "mackerel" and "pudding" existed far, far away from one another.
One day, that all changed. And then, whoever was responsible somehow thought the word fluffy would help.
Oh, and eggs, too.
via Graf via Julie via Steve
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15 Jul 2003 |
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Carl: I "Shared the Love" with at hostess at
Red Lobster once . . . then I got crabs!
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14 Jul 2003 |
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Evidently there's a Corndog Festival every year that includes Corndog Styling. I think I saw the "New York Dogs" live in my kitchen after a long night of drinking and eating pork snouts wrapped in corn sweaters.
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11 Jul 2003 |
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It just can't get any better than this...or can it with Origami Hot Dogs!
via spacegirl
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09 Jul 2003 |
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In addition, a floor drain in the food preparation area was backed up with raw sewage...
Eeeewww.
via obscure store
Because surely the demographic that uses Wi-Fi is also the one that enjoys low grade fast food.
Ronald and an anonymous pink friend give it a try: "...single, very white clown transvestite with huge feet seeks voluptuous, kinky female for anonyomus drive-through service. Must be into burger grease, McNuggets..."
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27 May 2003 |
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How many times have you been sitting around the house in your underwear, watching your fifteenth straight hour of TV and thought. "Dang, I could sure go for some Pie in a jar right about now!" only to realize that the marketplace has not kept up with your needs.
Well now there's new Pie-in-a-jar...
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14 Apr 2003 |
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10 Apr 2003 |
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Alas and alack! Frozen food giant Sol Friend will never enjoy the sweet taste of Iraqi freedom. Now his family will have to invite someone else over to share it. Because, as Ari Fleisher noted, "Freedom's taste is unquenchible!"
But does it stay fresh when frozen?
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07 Apr 2003 |
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A kitchen worker hits a water rat on the head to stun it before it is killed for a meal in a restaurent in the southern Chinese city of Guangzhou.
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06 Mar 2003 |
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It's believed to be the largest Chee-to in the world. The cheesy glob of fried cornmeal that Navy Petty Officer Mike Evans found last week in a bag of the snacks is about the size of a small lemon and weighs in at about half an ounce.
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25 Feb 2003 |
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The suicide of famed chef Bernard Loiseau sent shock waves through France today and sparked condemnation from fellow culinary masters who accused the countryÕs all-powerful food critics of pushing him over the edge.
The news sent the gastronomic world into mourning and quickly sparked debate about the merits of restaurant guidesÕ rating systems which chefs await each year with bated breath.
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Dude, lighten up!
The vast majority of the roadkill permits are issued in rural counties.
Now that's a surprise. When I lived in Athens, OH, I worked with a woman who would regularly attempt to run down wild turkeys near her home for dinner. I am unfortunately not making this up. This is the same woman who thought "The Barenaked Ladies" was a dumb name for a band "because they ain't nekkid and they ain't ladies." Indeed.
Does this qualify as a "Q Deer Story" Q?
via obscure store
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15 Feb 2003 |
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Good idea from Spain! The internet-based telemadre concept puts empty-nester moms (who got used to cooking for 20 or more years) in touch with workers who want to eat better and are tired of fast food. For about $6 a day office workers get delicious home-cooked meals and lonely moms feel appreciated and make a living.
I want a telemadre...
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13 Feb 2003 |
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Reports of lions eating humans are increasing in Africa, and one reason may be more tourists camping on the big cats' doorstep.
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07 Feb 2003 |
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Parents reportedly "very proud".
(Note: Fark labels story as "Hero". Hah!)
via fark
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05 Feb 2003 |
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The ranks of the obese in Oregon have swelled (hee hee) from 11 percent in 1990 to 21 percent in 2000. "We felt it was within our purview (?) to make an accommodation for these people," said some guy in charge.
Just skip the ambulance and build that town a gym
The retrofitted ambulance uses ramps and a winch to get big tubs of goo with uncontrollable food urges on board. The unit carries a flat cot that can hold up to 1,000 pounds and a wider gurney because the patients flab hangs over both sides on the regular version.
shudder... only in America!
Hospitals expect to use the unit at least twice a week. The new ambulance will be more comfortable for heavy patients "and will help preserve their dignity."
Top three punchlines follow:
1) so they can eat it later
2) Isn't it a little late for that?
3) (Dignity last seen twelve thousand doughnuts ago)
These are just a couple of highlights from a seriously goofy article.
I wonder if it's stocked with Twinkies and coated with a foul-tasting substance to prevent patients from eating the vehicle.
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27 Jan 2003 |
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14 Jan 2003 |
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The marketing geniuses at Universal Records have created Rapsnacks, slapping their artists (Nelly, Master P, and Lil Romeo, among others) where they've never bling-blinged before: on snack bags.
Be sure to view the intro
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19 Dec 2002 |
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04 Dec 2002 |
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"On this Thanksgiving, I would be thankful for the safe return of our blimp," stated Centioli. "We will express our thanks to whomever safely returns the blimp by giving them one dozen Krispy Kreme doughnuts a month for life."
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14 Nov 2002 |
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Metromix thoughtfully offers a list of places open for dinner on Thanksgiving including:
Zoom Kitchen. Try the "Durken Turkey" -- a boneless turkey, stuffed with a boneless duck, stuffed with a boneless hen and served with foie gras stuffing.
Now that's one confused piece of poultry.
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13 Nov 2002 |
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minus the anchovy bit, of course.
(Sorry kids, you're just gonna have to put up with my stream-of-consiousness surfing until I see fit to stop procrastinating and fix slave. Which won't be anytime soon.)
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08 Nov 2002 |
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28 Oct 2002 |
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A man was found dead in the roof vent of The Famous Burrito, a restaurant on Chicago's South Side today. He was removed and taken to the hospital, where he was pronounced "extra spicy."
It's not clear how long he was stuck in the vent. You want a Dos Equis with that?
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24 Oct 2002 |
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11 Oct 2002 |
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A police spokesman in Recklinghausen north of Cologne said the keepers in a section of the zoo popular with small children had slaughtered and barbecued five Tibetan mountain chickens and two Cameroonian sheep.
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10 Sep 2002 |
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