funny strange
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16 Jan 2008 |
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The papers down here are reporting that a crowd of regular Texans insist they saw a huge UFO last week . Says one witness in the video, "It seemed to be hoovering over Stephenville." Hmmm, I'm pretty sure he means hovering, unless they just came to do a little light housework.
Naturally I assumed the aliens were just waiting for something momentous (my graduation?) to divulge themselves.
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29 May 2007 |
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Remember that goofy loooking bastard Condi Rice picked as her 2nd in command back in 2005? Bush is making him Wolfowitz' replacement at the World Bank.
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11 Nov 2006 |
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Hannidate "The place where people of like conservative minds can come together to meet. Whether you are looking for a life partner, or just someone to hang out with:
"Self-loathing closet case seeks same for hot sex followed by complete moral disintegration. Interested in doing this again and again while fighting the countries real enemies; self-accepting homosexuals..."
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13 Sep 2006 |
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The latest from my local paper's Police Log:
"A woman removed 24 bars of soap from Walgreen's, 916 Madison St, wihout paying at 5:45 pm Sept. 3."
[Wait for it!] She got away clean. [ba-doom!]
Camus in grave: "Mon dieu! C'est absurd!"
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27 Dec 2005 |
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I found this on Found Magazine.com and liked the scenario it implies. (jackass putting strange things in his mouth)
Found magazine is good for filling all that useless time at work between the holidays.
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17 Nov 2005 |
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27 Apr 2005 |
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When you're ready to find the love of your life...
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20 Apr 2005 |
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That's right, the Virgin Mary arrived in town earlier this week for an appearance, and is currently playing to a standing room only crowds.
Get there early for the best seats. B.Y.O. candles and rosary beads.
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30 Jan 2005 |
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The new face of diplomacy - the North Face.
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10 Jan 2005 |
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26 May 2004 |
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Arkansas family celebrates birth of 15th child
via cnn/AP:
Fayetteville, Arkansas (AP) -- Michelle Duggar is all smiles after delivering her 15th child, but she may be ready for more...
ouch
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09 Mar 2004 |
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23 Jan 2004 |
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Possibly the greatest video link since Lightning Bolt! Lightning Bolt! Lightning Bolt!
Bikini'd models cavorting with various types of lunchmeats and dancing around like idiots. Off Boing Boing, so chances are you'll have to be patient. It is worth the wait.
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08 Oct 2003 |
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13 Sep 2003 |
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Seattle librarian Nancy Pearl holds the librarian action figure she inspired outside Archie McPhee & Co.'s Seattle store. The librarian joins the McPhee lineup of other action figures, including Sigmund Freud, Nico the espresso stand barista, and Jesus Christ.
I have this vision of House8 members going to this site and being separated from their money... be sure you don't miss 'peeing guy"...
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18 Aug 2003 |
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In a scheme likely to raise as many laughs among Iraq's hardline Islamic clerics as Salman Rushdie's The Satanic Verses, troops of the 4th Infantry brigade in Tikrit are planning to put up pictures around the town of Saddam's face superimposed on the bodies of a busty Veronica Lake, a slinky Zsa Zsa Gabor, a grooving Elvis and British-born rocker Billy Idol.
The aim, apparently, is to so enrage Saddam's followers that they will draw themselves out.
Q sez there were news reports, earlier in the war, of vans with loudspeakers driving through Baghdad calling the hiding fighters 'girly men' in Arabic. Apparently this enraged them and they'd come out shooting...
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15 Aug 2003 |
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this whole site is dedicated to the half chick, half something...also check out Chabio, half chicken, half Fabio. i didn't think this site was still kicking...
and, andrew, please add a category listing for Chickens
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23 Jul 2003 |
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--- snip ---
He, however, kept his head attached to his body with some cloth. When no one came to help him, he drove his own vehicle for 30 km to reach a nursing home in Agra.
(Kinda like the guy who cut his arm off, but more gory)
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11 Jul 2003 |
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It just can't get any better than this...or can it with Origami Hot Dogs!
via spacegirl
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10 Jun 2003 |
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From what I can decipher, this company in the Netherlands is dealing in celebrity urine. Either that or they give urine away for free in an effort to break into new urine markets. So how do they stay in business? VOLUME!
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14 May 2003 |
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...for this years Ugly Couch contest.
I think either of these would look pretty
great in the Falconer living room
or the backyard
or the alley
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29 Apr 2003 |
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This is the web site for a chain of gas stations I encountered in Iowa called Kum 'n' Go.
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24 Apr 2003 |
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It begins innocently enough in the pet-shop. I am seeking worms for Jetta.
'Hello there,' says a vaulting tenor voice behind me. 'We meet again.'
I turn and take in the black clothes and trademark dark glasses. I bow and smile. 'Mr. Roy Orbison, I presume. What brings you to our little emporium?'
'I was passing through town on my way to a rock star conference in Essen when I decided to get some de-worming powder for my dog.'
'Ah! How ironic! Your dog has worms and my Jetta eats worms.' I decide to risk a little joke. 'Perhaps we should bring the two of them together!'
But Roy does not laugh. The eyes behind the dark shades express no mirth. 'What? What are you saying? Are you saying your terrapin should eat worms out of my dog's ass?' he snarls.
It is all going wrong. My palms sweat. I wish to die. I try to wake up.
I blush and mumble apologies. Fortunately just then a distraction arrives.
Two criminals burst in waving shotguns.
'This is a robbery!' they yell. 'You two are hostages.'
'Make them tie each other up,' says the lead robber.
'Ach! I have forgotten the rope,' says his cohort.
'I happen to have a roll of cling-film with me,' I offer diffidently. 'Perhaps that would serve?'
'It will have to. Wrap that man in black in cling-film at once or it will go badly with you.'
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15 Mar 2003 |
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In northern Iraq, they're laughing at Saddam Hussein. Luke Harding meets two comedians who have dared to cock a snook (an English phrase, the definition of which is about 1/4 of the way down this page) at the ruthless dictator - and annoyed him so much that he ordered their assassination
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12 Mar 2003 |
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A young woman left in a coma for six years after she collapsed at school has started to respond to the world around her after her mother took her to see her pop star hero Bryan Adams perform live.
Q sez her first words were, "Turn that shit off!"
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04 Mar 2003 |
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Embattled pop star Michael Jackson wears a prosthetic nose and once paid $150,000 for a Òvoodoo curseÓ to kill director Steven Spielberg!!
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27 Feb 2003 |
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A HOTBED of sex and violence has been observed on ScotlandÕs remotest islands, where the locals have been carrying on undisturbed for more than 1,000 years.
Highly promiscuous females have been seen to copulate with a large number of partners, the horniest of whom appear to be the most successful.
via Neal...
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19 Feb 2003 |
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14 Jan 2003 |
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3. After I graduated I met a girl I really liked and asked her out. She sayed " Well I am really busy, but give me your number and I will call you". Well she did about 2 weeks later. She called me on a Saturday night around 6Pm and said " Hey, do you have any plans for tonight?" I said " No, I do not have anything to do tonight" She said "Good, I have a DATE tonight can you come over and babysit my son for me" Well that was the last time I ever spoke to her.
Yeah, that pretty much sums it up...
via bud.com
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08 Jan 2003 |
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So what's the record number of baby animals in her bra at one time? "The most I've had at one time was 12," Allison said, speaking of a passel of young possums. "I was living in Killeen at the time, so it was for about an hour and a half, two hours."
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04 Sep 2002 |
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ok, this is bizarre. scroll down and click on the links for even more cute pics. and don't forget to read the author's message for foreigners. leave it to the japanese...
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03 Sep 2002 |
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Teacher Ray Downing, 23, from North London, auditioned for the show and said: "I was shocked when they told me what it was about. It's up to contestants to find ways to catch the disease, but they talked about snorkelling in sewage!"
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Maybe the best part of this story is the byline:
By EMILY SMITH,
Deputy Bizarre Editor
That'll be my new title, thank you.
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Oh yeah, it's from the Sun, so don't miss the Page 3 girls.
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19 Aug 2002 |
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One Little Elephant Went Out to Play
Out on a Spider's Web One Day
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This is your elephant. This is your elephant on drugs. Get it?
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26 Jun 2002 |
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BRADENTON, Fla. - Grant Griffin's one-bedroom apartment isn't big enough for him, and more importantly, bats have turned up in his shower, sink and sheets. So he is moving.
A Royal Cookbook dating from 1500 has turned up.
Curlew, anyone?
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07 Jun 2002 |
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10 Apr 2002 |
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McMahon, 79, is suing his home insurance company for $20 million, claiming it botched a simple repair on a broken pipe and, as a result, allowed a toxic mold to spread through his house, making his family sick and killing his dog.
Has he checked his underwear drawer?
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01 Apr 2002 |
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The Savage Love sex column recently asked readers to submit their fantasies, then they refused to print them saying they were too boring. They've published a sampling:
"I am Smurfette. Gargamel has kidnapped me from Smurf Village and he keeps me in a little birdcage. He paces up and down, describing his plans to destroy Smurf Village forever. I am horrified, but strangely aroused. He also is getting distracted from his plans by the thought of my small blue femininity waiting breathlessly in the cage. Finally, he opens the cage and runs his finger up and down my body."
I find "Smurf" fantasies more disturbing than "Furry" fantasies:
Agree
Disagree
Nothing wrong with a good Smurf fantasy.
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21 Mar 2002 |
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Those who've worked with me know I'm not that design-savvy. But these vomit bags rock!
via Liz H
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05 Mar 2002 |
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Considering that the Italians have had like 65 governments in the last 50 years, its not surprising that they put it to a vote.
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16 Feb 2002 |
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Trapped beneath tons of unshelled peanuts in a warehouse, Floyd Goodman Jr. refused to panic.
Instead, he slowed his breathing to conserve what little oxygen there was. And he prayed.
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I'm thinking he was praying not to win a Darwin Award...
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14 Feb 2002 |
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08 Feb 2002 |
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ZURICH (Reuters) - A fire in a Swiss warehouse destroyed between 3.5 and four million Easter chocolate bunnies, Swiss retail chain Migros said on Friday.
The fire swept a central distribution warehouse containing nearly half of the total output needed to cover demand at Migros, Switzerland's largest retailer.
Suppliers Chocolat Frey and Migros's Midor have cranked up production, pledging to manufacture the bunnies "around the clock, seven days a week, through March 28."
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29 Jan 2002 |
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All confessions are anonymous. There are those that may contain ideas or words offensive to some. Confessions are as we see ourselves. It is not always pretty but it is often illuminating.
Confessions are categorized under pride, envy, sloth, gluttony, greed, lust, anger and misc. (although, potpourri or grab bag would be better descriptions).
Just download and make your desktop happy. 1024 x 768.
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23 Jan 2002 |
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"Hey, you look at my girlfriend one more time and I will rip your eyes out and shove them up your asshole, which I will also rip out. And then tear you a new one."
via here
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08 Jan 2002 |
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I don't think this site needs any explanation...unless of course you wanted to listen to this...eee eeee eeee!!!
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03 Jan 2002 |
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21 Dec 2001 |
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"It's bizarre. His mom was doing an act of kindness taking this lady around to see Christmas lights," said Lt. Chuck Williams, a spokesman for the Florida Highway Patrol. "You think the probabilities for a phenomenon like this are, wow."
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14 Nov 2001 |
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Holy crap! A web site with a section devoted to digitally altered images of beautiful celebrities waist high in quicksand!
A quick Google search for "Quicksand Fetish" will reveal more fun destinations. It's the sensation crossing the nation!
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30 Oct 2001 |
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Ladies and Gentlemen, here's the right way to make a profit using Ebay as your online selling venue. Please do not be afraid, this is my Uncle Hank!
via Jane at Streams
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27 Oct 2001 |
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--Last week, the Air Force Research Laboratory (AFRL) in New Mexico finished testing the system on human volunteers.--
Yes, but how fast does it cook a potato?
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07 Oct 2001 |
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The spherical shape of the grill concentrates the heat; subsequently, the normal quart of lighter fluid is not necessary.
Regardless, the local Fire Chief said "In the last 27 years of firefighting, I have never seen flames leap that high from a
grill. Outstanding!" And the cute Simpson decal had the firemen laughing so intensely, they let the high-pressure hose
slip and the glass was blown from three windows, the paint was damaged on my Dodge Dart, and my dog was
knocked into the pool. As you read this, I am grilling some burgers for the insurance adjuster and the construction
repair crew. They love it too!
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05 Oct 2001 |
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