T is for Texas, D is for Death

Two days go by and still no Johnnie Cochran jokes?

I'm looking in your direction, Jpeg.

What a Country

"It may soon be possible to carry around an AK-47 assault rifle and an iPod with you down the street - and be arrested for carrying the iPod."

...

In his floor speech introducing the measure, [Utah Senator Orrin] Hatch said that once people are given PCs, they are bound to infringe. (Many would agree with him there). So he frames his bill as a protection. Hatch said people weren't aware that they were breaking the law by running P2P software, (citing work by Harvard's Berkman Center, which says the Senator quoted them out of context) and therefore running "piracy machines" that had been designed to mislead their users. Therefore, his argument goes, the users are in need of protection from 'inducement'.

Guh. So, according to that logic, why don't we just start charging gun owners with murder right now? 'Cause you know eventually someone's gonna be induced to pop a cap in someone.

"But officer, I didn't mean to run that red light, my car induced me with all that horsepower!"

Would someone introduce a bill to protect me from uptight, ancient, out-of-touch Senators who will flip flop on an issue over a steak dinner and a lobbyist blowjob? Loosen the collar, Orrin, I think your brain is in need of oxygen.

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Speakin' of the Beastie Boys...

What's up with the news lately using Beastie Boys instrumental tracks as background music?

(Beastie Boys cleared in sampling case.)

It's Apple vs. Apple in Court

Reportedly, Applecorps has filed a lawsuit in London against the computer firm over a 22-year-old agreement that Apple Computer use the Apple name only for computer products--not music-related enterprises.

Apparently Applecorp looks upon the digital music machinations--iPod and iTunes--of the Cupertino,Calif.-based computer firm none too kindly.

August 15th: Fair and Balanced Day

Fox News is claiming that Al Franken's new book title, "Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right" infringes on their trademarked tagline.

Hee hee! Silly Fox!

via just about everywhere

Parents File Lawsuit Over Star Wars Video

The parents of Ghyslain Raza, the Quebec teenager who became a celebrity this spring after classmates posted on the Internet a video of him mimicking a Star Wars character, allege that their son was so humiliated by the experience that he had to get psychiatric care.

Sex.com, Sex.com, You're My Sex.com

The US Supreme Court has rejected the appeal by Stephen Michael Cohen in the sex.com case.

The decision brings to a close two years of pointless legal argument and leaves the way clear for sex.com owner Gary Kremen to concentrate on forcing .com registry VeriSign to admit its guilt in transferring the valuable domain to Mr Cohen in 1995.

_{-- snip --}

With the case finally put to rest however, Mr Kremen faces his toughest battle - forcing VeriSign to accept blame for transferring the domain without checking in the first place. He is expected to win although VeriSign is sticking to its defence that a domain name cannot legally be held to be property and as such it cannot be held to account for giving the sex.com away to someone else.

If VeriSign eventually loses, it will face a $100m fine and legal fee bill. It would also set a legal precedent that will encourage thousands of other domain owners to seek recompense for wrongly handing over domains (something VeriSign has become particularly famous for).

How To Make A Telemarketer Cry

Or at least pay you $500.

via boing boing

NCR Patents the Internet

I give them props for trying this...

Corporations still own our court system

The Supreme Court on Wednesday upheld lengthier copyrights protecting the profits of songs, books and cartoon characters -- a huge victory for Disney and other companies.

Hundreds of thousands of books, movies and songs were close to being released into the public domain when Congress extended the copyright by 20 years in 1998.

A contrary ruling would have cost entertainment giants like The Walt Disney Co. and AOL Time Warner Inc. hundreds of millions of dollars. At risk of expiration was protection for the version of Mickey Mouse portrayed in Disney's earliest films, such as 1928's "Steamboat Willie."

Congress passed the copyright law after heavy lobbying from companies with lucrative copyrights.

Click Here, make $20

A class action lawsuit has been brought by the attorneys general of 43 states, who charged that the industry's five largest labels engaged in a five-year campaign to fix CD prices.

If you bought a recording from a retailer between 1995 and 2000, it's definitely worth a visit to the site. You could wind up $20 richer just by filling out a claim form.

The application window closes March 3, 2003.

Spanking Client Not Legitimate Trial Prep Tactic

Repeat after me: "The perverted act of intentionally fondling the bare bottoms of female clients cannot and is not part of the practice of law."

Alexander Graham Bell Did Not Invent the Telephone, U.S. House Rules

Italy hailed the redress of a historic injustice yesterday after the US Congress recognised an impoverished Florentine immigrant as the inventor of the telephone rather than Alexander Graham Bell.

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OK, so maybe Bell didn't invent the phone (maybe he really stole it from Elisha Gray). But he did do some cool stuff. .

Tinsel Town Club

Sure, watch the amusing Flash animation. More importantly, send a letter to your representatives (house | senate) to let them know what a piece of shit CBDTPA is.

via Lots of places

Our Divorce Agreement Dot Com

This exclusive tool will save thousands of dollars in attorney and mediation fees and accomplishes this otherwise time-consuming task in the time it takes to fill out the necessary forms.

Who Should Not Use This Site?

You shouldn't if you're:
~ Not able to independently complete online forms.

via CNN

FAA to do background checks on 750,000 employees

The Federal Aviation Administration plans to check the backgrounds of every employee who has access to secured areas of airports, Administrator Jane Garvey said Wednesday.

Garvey told a National Press Club luncheon that she hoped to have the checks completed within nine months. Around 750,000 employees will be checked.

It's a good thing they are taking swift action! Holy hell, don't they realize nine months is plenty of time for possible insider terrorists to strike in some fashion? Maybe they should implement the Rapid Speed Process and get through the checks before the end of the world. Gosh!

via Washington Post

Police + Technology = Helicopter Doughnut Run!

Okay, this has gone too far! I love this Police story. Two cops, one helicopter, one box of doughnuts--two idiots.

via Ananova

Cartoonist Kieron Dwyer Sued By Starbucks

In other words, while Judge Chesney agreed that Dwyer's image was a legitimate parody in and of itself, and thereby protected by the First Amendment, the sale of items bearing that image constituted an infringement on Starbucks' trademark. Dwyer cannot profit by this image, because the only reason that people would buy the t-shirt, mugs, or stickers was because they bore a logo "confusingly similar" to Starbucks'. The temporary restraining order she eventually signed now bars Dwyer from selling any such merchandise.

Diplomatic Passport and Honorary Consulship

Through our long time reliable and trusted contacts at governmental level we are finally able to offer a genuine diplomatic passport from a highly respected country for only US$50,000! As a part of this program you MUST agree to go to the host country to personally pick up your diplomatic passport and credentials direct from the head of state.

Here's my favorite:

7. Doors, which may have been previously closed, will remarkably open once you have received your diplomatic status.

Ira Einhorn - Punishment Comes 24 years late

You've probably seen this scumbag on tv exposés. He's the self-proclaimed inventor of the internet who killed his girlfriend (1977) when she tried to dump him. He left her body in his closet for two years and then fled to Europe which has weak extradition treaties. He has denied culpability long after his identity was determined and gloated when France refused to turn him over to the U.S. last year. He just lost his last appeal. He's coming back to the U.S. and will spend the rest of his life in jail.

Polaroid Mulls Bankruptcy

If ever a company deserved extinction... Back in the 80's Kodak issued their own line of Instant Cameras and surpassed Polaroid in just a few years. Rather than compete Polaroid sued for patent infringement and put Kodak Instant out of business in 86. Then they reverted to the lazy monopoly they had always been. Bye bye Polaorid