Riddle me this.
How on earth does a person make their name as a nemesis-crushing, whistle-blowing reformer (for almost a decade) while secretly indulging an apetite for pricey hookers? How do you imagine you're protected from those you've toppled, who would be looking for this exact piece of information about you?
How is NY's Elliot Spitzer capable of such unimaginable levels of stupidity?
Selct one: because he's:
a) a douche bag
b) a horn dog
c) a gas bag
d) secretly a Republican
e) more than one of the above
Windy City Gone Wimpy
Nick Gillespie's take on the recent slew of nanny state ordinances to pass through the Chicago city council.
But it turns out that Chicago is a sissy town because that "stormy, husky, brawling … City of the Big Shoulders," in Carl Sandburg's evocative 1916 poem, seems hellbent on putting a chokehold on just about everything that makes a city a city. Namely, fun. Local pols evidently are more dedicated to rooting out gluttony among residents than reining in a police department neck deep in an ugly torture scandal.
Oy.
According to some poll:
- Two-thirds of Americans believe Hillary Clinton will run for president in 2008.
- Only one-third believes she can win
- 80 percent don't think Condoleezza Rice could win presidency
I agree; Hillary doesn't have a prayer.
Sadly, the Dems treat running for president like it's a resume-builder.
how much for zee wimin?
Poll shows people prefer the moderate, pro-choice First Lady over her husband, the Poster Child for birth control. Discuss.
On a side note, isn't it funny that the same does not apply for the previous Commander-in-Chief? Diametrically oposed, I guess.
Can I get an "Amen"?
now go unto the world and spread the word with this
much props to johnny c. for sending this.
Hugo Chavez: Halloween part of U.S. culture of terror
Venezuela's Hugo Chavez, has come down hard on Halloween, saying it's part of the U.S. culture of "terrorism, putting fear into other nations, putting fear into their own people." You should hear what he has to say about Sweetest Day. ¡Vivo la revolución!
Bush reaches out to Trans-Gender Patriots
Attempting to drum up support for ANYTHING, President Bush trots out a gigantic Tommy Hilfiger poofy flag dress yesterday, July 4th. In an effort to mobilize his trans-gender and homosexual base, and also demonstrating that being a girly-man isn't actually a bad thing, Bush implored those opposed to same-sex marriage to "tone down the heated rhetoric."
"I have a lot of gay friends," Bush stated, "Karl Rove, Scott McLellan, that Cheney kid... and when a friend gets attacked, I don't like it." Bush followed his speech with a parodic rendition of the old showtune classic, twisted for laughs to "Laura, Get Yer Gun."
Mr. Blackwell panned Bush's feeble attempt at propping his flagging poll numbers ""Out of the blue, pops our president, and I’m seeing red - AND stars! It's like being hit with WMD... a wickedly monstrous dress!
"It's just dreary, drab and dour... wake up George, you’re getting worse by the hour!"
(this picture comes to our attention from that traitor, Scott B.)
Am I the only one who sees the likeness?
yet another separated at birth... Is that British Parliament member George Galloway, or the criminologist from Rocky Horror?
full story
calling all flash designers
MoveOn PAC is appealing to animators to come up with a flash piece that rips the Social Security privatization plan of King George... I figured there might be a few of you out there who would be interested...
Gomez, you've been kinda quiet lately, here's your chance to come over to the left:
check it
and the winner is...
Results from a friendly caption contest:
10. W: "Seriously, feel how big my hand is. It's huge. I am the leader of the free world. I have big ol' oil drillin' God-fearin' Texan hands." (Scott B)
9. Chirac: "I expected your palm would be hairier." (David B)
8. W: "Ya see, Jacques, if your right hand had rolled as many joints as mine has, you'd be reluctant to shake on anything!" (Terry B)
7. W: "It's a deal. You support the war in Iraq and I'll have a fighter pilot accidently drop something on EuroDisney." (Scott B)
6. W: "You mean which hand I use makes a difference?" (Kitty W)
5. W: "By the way, Jacques, we're all sincerely pleased to see yer startin' to recover from that nasty dioxin incident." (Mike V)
4. W: "It worked great for Moises Alou! Look how tough my paw is!" (Steve B)
3. W: "Sometimes I feel like I got the whole world's nuts...right here in my hand!" (Bob R)
2. W: "So I was cupping Condi's ass like so and I got Ann Coulter over this knee. Who walks in? The First Lady!" (Scott B)
And the winner, submitted as his sole entry, comes from Alexander C:
1. W: "See that scar? I once tried to milk a bull!"
An open letter to Scott McClellan
Dear Mr. McClellan,
I am writing you in regard to the now-vacant position of White House press corps plant.
It is my understanding that your previous press corps plant, James D. Guckert - to whom you issued White House press credentials under the name Jeff Gannon - is no longer with the administration.
I realize, of course, that because of the flap over the administration's policy of having conservative columnists on the payroll, it may not be politically feasible to fill Mr. Guckert's position right away. However, when you do begin hiring again, I hope you will consider me.
If my name seems at all familiar, it is probably because I have written to you in the past hoping to secure a contract writing pro-administration columns. As a point of reference, I am the one who offered to push your agenda at the rate of $500 per column, or three for $1,399, which I still believe represents an excellent value in today's marketplace.
In regard to the position of press-corps plant, I do not pretend to have the strong conservative affiliation that Mr. Guckert enjoyed with TalonNews.com. Although my newspaper has editorially endorsed President Bush for re-election, it is otherwise a mainstream media operation, and not linked to the Texas Republican Party.
Despite this obvious hole in my resume, I still believe I would be an excellent replacement for Mr. Guckert, who I feel is one of the great press corps plants of all time. Certainly the question he asked at President Bush's press conference about the president's pledge to reach out to Democrats - "How are you going to work with people who seem to have divorced themselves from reality?" - was nothing short of brilliant.
To give you an idea of my own abilities, I have put together a few sample press conference questions for your consideration:
Mr. President, at this point in your tenure you have not made a single wrong decision. Do you find it difficult to work with this kind of incredible record, or is perfection something you get used to over time?
Mr. President, now that Iraq has held free elections, your policy has been proven to be correct and democracy is on the march in the Middle East, how do you respond to those who are calling you the greatest American since FDR?
Mr. President, Social Security is in such a serious crisis that if your plan to change it is not adopted immediately, senior citizens are going to be dropping like flies by next winter. Is this why you deplore the scare tactics being used by those who oppose your plan?
Finally, Mr. McClellan, because I know you don't like your press-corps plants to go by their real names, I have been working on coming up with a suitable alias, and have decided on the following - Kent Clark. What do you think?
Again, thank you for your time, sir, and I will be waiting to hear from you.
P.S. The three columns for $1,399 offer is still good while supplies last.
(mad props 2 the author of this: Jim Shea - www.courant.com
scott b. pointed it out - made my day with this one)
I swear I didn't write this
I'm gonna get blamed, but it is NOT me ranting... judge for yourself:
fuckthesouth.com
The United States has changed its name...
Jesusland!
thanks to Ken W for IMing that to me
looking to get out now?
I'm hitched, but for you single types, sign up to meet foreigners sympathetic to the plight of reasonable Americans stuck with a 4th-rate President. Who knows, someone may come to your aid.
check it
Think of it as an Underground Railroad for enslaved liberals.
via Ken W.
His mamma says he loves him, but she might be jivin' too...
By the looks of this picture, I'm not convinced that Jeb is going to vote for g-dummy!
This being the day before the election, how 'bout we blast the sucka with a caption contest for this photo:
"Not now Jeb, the Nascar dads are watching!"
"Hey Georgie, watch that left hand!"
"Man, do you smell... stop worrying about the election, I disqualified all those black voters..."
"Damn this wind... I'll just hold my mannequin so it doesn't blow over..."
"Sorry George, I will NOT let you do the Macarena in front of Floridians!"
hey, that's MY responsibility
I guess people are a little revved up about the elections...
My impression of Kathryn Harris from my encounter last week is that she's a nice lady... despite the fact that she SHOULD HAVE RECUSED HERSELF FROM THE FLORIDA RECOUNTS. I guess someone doesn't feel the same way.
Break through
The Warren Report Redux
The 9-11 commission are selling the limp, no-account conclusions of their report all over the airwaves today. It illustrates the country's unwavering faith in institutions teeming with ineffective white men who look grave while spouting drivel and take/assign no responsibility.
To help calibrate your moral guage:
- Tenuous suggestions that Saddam might have a bomb are absolutley conclusive enough to pre-emptively invade a country, and kill 8000 people.
- Ten or twelve major blown opportunities to prevent 9-11 are no one's fault.
Don't you hate when you spend $40 billion on intelligence and you only get thirty buck worth of groupthink? With drones like these who needs enemies?
All the intelligence community should give their salaries back for the last five years to help repay for the damage they "weren't responsible for."
Kerry / Hans Moleman '04
Dick Gephart is the kind of unexceptional drone who has never really understood the difference between just hanging in there like the guest-who-wouldn't-leave and acheiving any real distinction. I wish he would get out of politics, because he is such a bland cardboard cut-out. Instead, now it seems he may be Kerry's VP running mate.
Why John, WHY?
You'd hope that Kerry would treat this as an example of how he'd lead if elected, not talk up the imaginary quailites of some milquetoast. Noone has ever benefited from association with Dick Gephart. If Kerry just wanted to shoot himself in the foot, why not pull Walter Mondale out of mothballs?
Punch his face off
I have a dollar for anyone who gets within punching distance of Ralph Nader, the silly ass.
New Mexico's congress has passed a bill that would require cars to be fitted with a breathalyzer device that locks the ignition if the driver is over the legal limit. If this thing becomes law, remind me to bring a dental dam and some sanitary wipes if I rent a car in New Mexico.
Developers! Developers! Developers...
I got to see Howard Deans bizarre teeth-baring, war-whoop this week and was immediately reminded of:
- Steve Ballmer's freaky pep rally at Microsoft a few years back
- Al Gores spine-crushing P.R. kiss at the Democratic convention.
- George Bush shaking his bon-bon when super-ass Ricky Martin played his inauguration. (disturbing!)
File all of them under "Need to practice their spontanaeity."
I am Mayor Willie Brown
I always smile and never frown...
SF Mayor Willie Brown appointed City Supervisor Chris Daly "Mayor-for-a-day" (something he does, apparently, with all supervisors as one of those goofy meaningless political gestures...), and Daly decided to do a little appointin' and pontificatin' while ol' Willie was otherwise preoccupied.
Natural gas supplies in the US have reached critically low levels in recent months and may be inadequate to meet demand during a hot summer this year.
- snip -
Prices are reported to have increased as much as 700 per cent over the past three years
- snip -
The problem arose after the US government encouraged natural gas as an environmentally friendly fuel but refused to open what Mr Abraham said were about 40 per cent of the potential gas resources on federal lands.
Your tax dollars at work
H RES 195
2/3 YEA-AND-NAY
2-JUN-2003 7:00 PM
QUESTION: On Motion to Suspend the Rules and Agree
BILL TITLE: Congratulating Sammy Sosa of the Chicago Cubs for Hitting 500 Major League Home Runs
Your tax Dollars At Work
Halliburton will $ave us...
George "I'll bring dignity back to the White House" Bush gave the billion dollar contract to cap oil fires after the war to Halliburton, the company vice-president Cheney ran, before "winning" (ahem...) the election.
That'll buy a lot of dignity.
So let's see where that ethical boundary lies: Clintons blowjobs, "travelgate" and failed real estate ventures are bad, but egregious conflicts-of-interest that line your own pocket are just fine and dandy.
"Liberal Media" my ass! No one has said Boo! about this. The media continue to act as shills for the chimp-in-chief.
...she's decided to seek the 2004 Democratic presidential nomination!??! After her stint as a clueless senator, she thinks that America is going to elect her the first woman and black president all in one fell swoop...
Surely there is something better to spend these campaign millions on.
Wearing pink T-shirts that read "Bad girls like good contracts," dancers banged on pots Monday and chanted, "Two, four, six, eight, pay me more to gyrate!"
The club uses its unionized status as a selling point, boasting on its answering machine that it is "San Francisco's only peep show where you can be sure the dancers will be beautiful, smart and unionized."
"They use the union to promote the club, yet they don't support it," said Vivian. "It feels like exploitation."
Dry Bones
Stupid
If you live in Winona, they're gonna tax the rain that falls on your house. Stupid government!
And looky here, stupid companies! (Dedicated to j p e g)
I wonder if the guy who's selling these is using proper accounting methods...
At least two others have fallen in the past year. In June, one man fell in the Eagle Creek area but refused treatment. In October, another fell in the Tillamook State Forest and suffered multiple broken bones.
I'm curious if she made a sound.
It's cruel, but this story struck me as very funny. Could it be that the trees are tossing the protestors?
It doesn't say whether they cooked it up, but that doesn't seem an unreasonable suggestion...
-----------------
Relevant passage:
"On three separate occasions during the past deer rut, which normally coincides with the Maryland and Virginia hunting seasons that I participate in, I spotted bucks with their noses to the ground, ignoring everything and everybody as they followed the scent of a female."
------------------
QTip sez it sounds like any given weekend in Wrigleyville to me...
via Drudge Report (I know, I know)
