Bad Monkey!
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21 May 2007 |
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19 Sep 2006 |
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CNN: Not playing fair
C'mon, how am I supposed to NOT click that? It's a story about boxing apes AND there's video?
Maybe this is why there was a coup in Thailand today. Save the apes!
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16 May 2006 |
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Bears eat Monkey!
Bears killed and ate a monkey in a Dutch zoo in front of horrified visitors, witnesses and the zoo said Monday.
The park confirmed the killing in a statement, saying: "In an area where Sloth bears, great apes and Barbary macaques have coexisted peacefully for a long time, the harmony was temporarily disturbed during opening hours on Sunday."
Stupid Monkey!
More photos here(pdf).
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28 Jan 2006 |
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RobotMonkeyPirate! (beta release!)
Be the first on your block to rock the brand-spankin' new designs from House of Carl. Jeff has sketched up some pretty cool stuff, and we're doing what anyone with a minimal amount of creativity would do: we're puttin 'em on T-shirts, baby!
All proceeds from the shop go toward the purchase of beer and surfing lessons. And if you ne'erdowells have any designs or ideas for the future, send 'em in and we'll get them made. (Or more accurately, Spreadshirt* will.) There's lot's more to come. At least that's the fantasy in my head.
Current designs include:
- RobotMonkeyPirate!
See, it's a robot that LOOKS like a monkey, but he dresses like a pirate... - Pabst Blue Robot
Also available in muscle T, for showing off your pythons. - "whew!" for you squid lovers.
I have to admit when I first saw this, I thought it was a squid fucking an octopus. Carl assures me this is not the case. - As well as a few other designs made from Spreadshirt's stock artwork
YAAAR!
* We're not talkin' some weak-ass Café Press digital printing on crappy tees. Spreadshirt quality is excellent.
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15 Dec 2005 |
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16 Nov 2005 |
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No one understands me like you do, Robot Chimp Head.
Finally, someone who will listen to my problems and not judge me.
http://www.sharperimage.com/us/en/catalog/productview/sku__WW258/hppos__13
Feces-Flingin'™ arm attachment sold seperately.
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03 Nov 2005 |
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Category 5 President soaking the Nation.
Generalissimo Rumsfeld says Gitmo prisoners are dieting not starving themselves.
With an idiotic stay-the-course, post-indictment recovery plan like this, Bush deservedly slips to his newest low:
a 35 percent approval rating.
He is now below everyone ever except Nixon. To catch up with Tricky Dick will take eight more points. Give him a couple of weeks.
Like father like son: disastrous presidencies.
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18 Oct 2005 |
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05 Mar 2005 |
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When Chimps Attack II
Fred Durst shows you his 'O' face (WARNING: Spyware-laden link. Proceed at your own risk. Thanks, Nora).
WARNING: NSFW. Actually, not safe for anyone with the gift of sight.
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04 Mar 2005 |
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When Chimps Attack!
A couple's plans for a birthday party for their former pet chimpanzee turned tragic when two other chimps at an animal sanctuary escaped from their cage and attacked.
St. James Davis had severe facial injuries and would require extensive surgery in an attempt to reattach his nose, Dr. Maureen Martin of Kern Medical Center told KGET-TV of Bakersfield. His testicles and a foot also were severed, Kern County Sheriff's Cmdr. Hal Chealander told The Bakersfield Californian.
Buddy, a 16-year-old male chimp, initiated the attack and after he was shot, Ollie, a 13-year-old male, grabbed the gravely injured man and dragged him down the road, authorities said.
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21 Feb 2005 |
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Koko likes them tigobitties
Two fired caretakers for Koko, the world-famous sign-language-speaking gorilla, have sued their former bosses, claiming they were pressured to expose their breasts as a way of bonding with the 300-pound simian.
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20 Jan 2005 |
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God bless CNN
Winnie, can I have a job? Start this video clip about halfway in, with the speakers up.
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20 Oct 2004 |
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Please, don't vote for our cousin!
"Bush Relatives for Kerry" grew out of a series of conversations that took place between a group of people that have two things in common: they are all related to George Walker Bush, and they are all voting for John Kerry...
...We invite you to read our stories, and please, don't vote for our cousin!
If his own relatives are smart enough to not vote for George W. Bush, why would anyone vote for him?
http://www.bushrelativesforkerry.com
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19 Aug 2004 |
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03 Aug 2004 |
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Bitchslap The Monkey
A helper monkey turns on a 2-year old. Reporters are given a cornucopia of hilarious quotes with which to craft an article.
(Please note that it took no fewer than three people to write this story. I can only speculate that while the others were doubled over laughing, one managed to get some notes down.)
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19 Mar 2004 |
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21 Feb 2004 |
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13 Oct 2003 |
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Monkeys, robotic arms and neural implants
Yep, can't get much better than that! Happy Monday everyone!
As Boing Boing suggests, just go straight for the good stuff...
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16 Aug 2003 |
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Better than Citizen Kane!
This movie is playing in any parking lot that will have it. I need to find a venue for it here in Chicago . . . any suggestions?
Andrew, please add a category for Bigfoot.
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17 Jul 2003 |
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Man Sets New Donkey Kong Record
Another Donkey Kong post! The record now stands at 947,200 points. How high can you get?
Download the emulator and ROM for your shot at fame and glory!
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09 Jun 2003 |
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BEWARE OF MONKEYPOX!
MONKEYPOX is usually transmitted to people from squirrels and primates through a bite or contact with the animal's blood....and it has the best disease name ever!
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09 May 2003 |
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It's official: Monkeys + typewriters != Shakespeare
They did produce a urine and feces covered keyboard and a five page document primarily composed of the letter S.
Was this some sort of scientific dare?
via 6:01am
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10 Mar 2003 |
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12 Feb 2003 |
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Looks like JPEG has some tree house competition...
With a chain saw, a rope and a hatchet, Tony Detmer built his three-story dream house -- suspended 20 feet up, in a stand of Douglas fir and cedar.
"I've pretty much been a monkey all my life," he said. "This is what makes me happy."
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11 Jan 2003 |
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20 Dec 2002 |
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Are those monkeys in your pants or are you just happy to see me?
LOS ANGELES, California (Reuters) -- Customs officials opened his suitcase and a bird of paradise flew out but that was nothing compared to what they found in his pants -- a pair of pygmy monkeys.
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12 Nov 2002 |
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11 Jul 2002 |
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Jack Ass - The Movie
Can't wait to see this...not sure why this isn't a straight to DVD release...but it apparently will contain everything that couldn't be shown on tv. So, it's GOT to be good.