Hardhat Johnny comes with everything you see here...
For the next 2 months I will be working on a construction site for a different project. Try to picture me in a hardhat getting yelled at by contractors and foremen.
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31 Oct 2005 |
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01 Dec 2004 |
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Dubya - The Movie
Gotta laugh to keep from cryin...
Brilliant in execution, a little disturbing that someone out there is that familiar with Don Knotts' catalog.
via defective yeti
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05 Nov 2004 |
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George Bush and Dick Cheney are gay lovers!
George Bush proclaimed on Wednesday, after winning the election by the lowest margin ever for a sitting president since Woodrow Wilson in 1916, the he and Dick Cheney have a "Man Date".
I guess after all the gay bashing from John Kerry and the Liberals in this election, the term "Gay" got kind of tarnished, so George W. Bush is using his new term: "Man Date".
I guess in four years those damned liberals will be "Man Date" bashing instead of gay bashing.
(sorry jpeg, I couldn't resist)
btw... I know that they are using "Mandate" to mean something entirely different, but it's funnier if you say "Man Date" instead of Mandate.
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22 Oct 2004 |
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Weapons of Mass...Seduction!
Lie Girls - Call now, they'll tell you exactly what you want to hear!
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These girls pose a grave and gathering threat... to your pants.
Call or Click Now!
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20 Oct 2004 |
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02 Sep 2004 |
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Unfit for Cancun
Bwahahahahahah! Thanks for making my week, Q! Everyone have a safe and happy Labor Day holiday, hopefully pleasure boating on a nearby body of water.
I'm off to the left coast and the greater San Francisco area. I'll be pleasure boating my way on over to Alcatraz tomorrow, in fact!
Hello everyone, I am a park ranger and I will be leading you on the tour. All of the park rangers here at Alcatraz were at one time guards, myself included. My name is John Johnson, but everyone here calls me Vicky. Will you please follow me.
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26 Aug 2004 |
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Communists for Kerry
Armed with tools of Marxist-Leninist propaganda, Che begins the re-education of the misguided...
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10 Mar 2004 |
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Stick it
Some of you may be too young to remember Wacky Packages stickers. My brother - Mike - and I ruined the door to our bedroom with them as kids. Well Topps (the inedible chewing gum concern) is reviving them. There's some debate whether they'll be a hit with kids the 2nd time around, but it just doesn't seem like corporations tolerate mockery too well.
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25 Feb 2004 |
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Top Twelve Reasons Against Gay Marriage
Hah hah! Brilliant.
7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.
via Adam Curry's Weblog (Yes, that Adam Curry.)
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17 Feb 2004 |
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Triumph Insults Canadians
Conan O'brien took his show and Triumph the insult comic dog to Canada...only to insult them.
In the skit, a beret-wearing Triumph was seen visiting the Quebec carnival where several locals appeared distinctly unamused by his grouchy remarks.
"So you're French and Canadian, yes? So you're obnoxious and dull," the puppet told one passerby. "You're in North America, learn the language," he hollered at another.
And to one rotund man, Triumph suggested he might want to separate himself from doughnuts for awhile.
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21 Jul 2003 |
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Endless Love
George W. Bush and Tony Blair express their true feelings for each other as they sing a stirring rendition of "Endless Love."
via keith p.
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17 Jul 2003 |
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09 Apr 2003 |
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04 Apr 2003 |
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07 Feb 2003 |
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British scientists develop "The New Black"
Special scientific liasons Spinal Tap retained to help explain concept to public.
UPDATE: See the Tap in action! (2.4 MB QT)
via the morning news
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27 Oct 2002 |
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Halloween Witnessing Tips For True Christians
From your friends at Landover Baptist.
Will Jesus Sling Little Children Into Hell For Celebrating Halloween?
Quite frankly, the answer is, absolutely yes!
via K-Ho
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06 Oct 2002 |
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Puppetry of The Penis: The Ancient Art of Genital Origami
Drudge says these guys are booked for Wednesday's Leno Show.
Hoax?
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11 Sep 2002 |
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The Morning News weighs in on the Nimbus 2000
Would someone please wipe the smile off that kid's face?
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10 Aug 2002 |
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"Perfume" Throws Off Drug Dogs
"We was real angry when they put the dogs on each end of town so you couldn't get in or out," he said, referring to incidents last year when Australian police brought drug dogs to Nimbin and nearby Byron Bay. "We figured that if the drugs were trained to smell, we'd give them something to smell all right!"
A team of awesome Aussies fanned out across the region, spraying street signs, curbsides, buildings, police cars and stations, and other locations with liquids that smelled of cannabis. (Ed. note: bong water)
Wanna make your own perfume? Try Bubblebags.
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30 Jul 2002 |
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09 Jul 2002 |
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13 Jun 2002 |
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Refined teen plays 'air bassoon' in front of bedroom mirror
Sample article title from 'The Chaser' - Austrialia's answer to 'The Onion'. One difference though - it's NOT funny.
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07 Jun 2002 |
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04 Jun 2002 |
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Woman Dozes Off, Tanning Bed Timer Fails
Larri Brown of Williamstown, Ky., got into her home tanning bed last week and set the timer.
Then she fell asleep.
The timer was supposed to shut off the ultraviolet lights after 20 minutes, but the timer stuck.
--------
This got me to thinking that if she'd slept a little longer, she might have been good enough to eat.
And THAT got me thinking that maybe our notion of what's edible is a bit too narrow.
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27 Mar 2002 |
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The Toughest Decision:
Should my loved one be placed in an Assisted Computing Facility?
Sometimes referred to as "Homes for the Technologically Infirm," "Technical Invalid Care Centres," or "Homes for the Technically Challenged," Assisted Computing Facilities, (ACFs), are modeled on assisted living facilities, and provide a safe, structured residential environment for those unable to handle even the most common, everyday multitasks. Most fully accredited ACFs, like Silicon Pines, are oases of hope and encouragement that allow residents to lead productive, technologically relevant lives without the fear and anxiety associated with actually having to understand or execute the technologies themselves.
Be sure to read the 10 Warning Signs to see if you or a loved one need help.
via Gil
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15 Mar 2002 |
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Jeez-Its!
This is the unfortunate result of my unemployment...I have too much time and a wandering mind. -Greg
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12 Feb 2002 |
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21 Dec 2001 |
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21 Sep 2001 |
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Body-Shaping With Christian
Any physical improvement program is at least fifty percent mental. That's why retards and tiny babies are often so out-of-shape.
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08 Aug 2001 |
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06 Jul 2001 |
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Funny Foreign Names
Many of you may know Jib Jab already, but do check out the recent Dubya cartoon about how our fearless leader memorizes names of African and Asian dignitaries... it's high-sterical...
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22 Jun 2001 |
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Indiequirer: Manchester vs. Glasgow Debate Erupts In Riot
Stuart Murdoch, of resident whiny rockers Belle and Sebastian, says "One minute we were discussing the merits of Glasgow's superiority and the next thing you know, these blokes start throwing punches."
Reportedly, things escalated when Looper frontman, Stuart David made the sweeping claim that "after the Stone Roses debut in 1989, Manchester's scene was as dead as Athens, Georgia in 1986." The comments reportedly sparked a fistfight between Mogwai frontman, Stuart Braithwaite, and Happy Monday's dancing fool, Bez. "Whoomp!" exclaimed Bez, "I'll show you who will come on and die young you little bitch!"
The long dead music scene of London could not be reached for comment.
via The Morning News
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30 May 2001 |
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17 May 2001 |
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Netiquette
Modern Humorist's Miss Manners on message boards and chat rooms. Any person who's enjoyed either Star Trek or making fun of people who enjoy Star Trek will appreciate.