Oh really...?

A new test for dementia involves speaking sarcastically to patients. And isn't that just terrific?

Sort yourselves into two groups of "people who got that joke" and "people who didn't."

Genes Schmenes

The first human-designed gene was announced today. Let's hope it leads to a boneless, hamburger-flavored creature that cooks itself. My efforts at solving this problem are all buried out back.

The last gene-futzing effort (genetically identical corn) may have caused the massive bee deaths that occured this summer. So that went well.

Why Does God Hate Amputees?

“If God were answering the prayers of amputees to regenerate their lost limbs, we would be seeing amputated legs growing back every day,” the Web site declares, adding: “It would appear, to an unbiased observer, that God is singling out amputees and purposefully ignoring them.”

Is it hot in here?

Record Set for Hottest Temperature on Earth: 3.6 Billion Degrees in Lab.

Yowza! The best part? They don't know how they did it. Maybe if they got Chris and Mitch on the job they'd be able to figure it out.

2 New Rings Around Yer Anus

Add the 2 new rings to the 11 existing known rings and to the 22 known moons, and you've got quite a lot going on with Uranus. :-)





More Rings Are Found Around Planet Uranus

Of course none of this will true in a few weeks, once King George declares the Earth is flat (and always has been), and the Sun revolves around the Earth (and always has), and anyone that says different is just emboldening the terrorists.

Am I just juvenile?

Or is this headline kinda funny?

The Island of Dr. Moreau?

Scientists have begun blurring the line between human and animal by producing chimeras�a hybrid creature that's part human, part animal.

New Scientist: Hawking is wrong

Renowned phyicist Stephen Hawking has announced that he was wrong about things escaping black holes and stuff.

Listen to his comments on this development, and the resulting repercussions.

(Donning NerdProtector Helmet 3000...now.)

(Thanks, Q.)

Oh My Stars!

Tell the Birthday Stars computer when you were born, and it will look for a star that is your age in light years away from Earth. This means that the light we're seeing from that star today actually left the star around when you were born, and has taken your entire life to reach Earth.

From month to month you may see your birthday star changing. This is because as you get older the light from more and more distant stars has had the time to travel to Earth in during your life.

"Sewage Blending"

That's the term waste treatment plants use when referring to the practice of releasing partially treated waste into waterways during rainy weather and large snow melts. The restrictions on the practice have been loosened by a Bush administration EPA policy change, who claim that not doing it actually results in bigger problems.

That's like saying if you don't drink yourself blind, you'll just shoot heroin. So while we're blowing five kagillion dollars in Iraq every day and sending remote control trucks to Mars, the EPA is finding ways to make it even more convenient for all of us to get E. coli, Giardia and salmonella. Environmental Protection, indeed.

According to the article in today's Chicago Tribune, sewage spills into Lake Michigan were responsible for 130 beach closings in Chicago and 178 in Lake County last summer. Proponents of the practice say it helps limit waste backups into property and worse spills during bad weather, and the only way to fix the problem is to spend billions of dollars on upgrades. Hmmmm...

Now, I know this is a very complex issue (I encourage you to read the article, because there is a lot to consider), and there's a lot of science that I'll never understand going on here. But aren't we smart enough to build systems that can handle these situations without having to release even partially treated sewage back into our own water supply? Bleh. I mean, we got guys that can make a plane disappear fer fuck's sake!

The "5-Second Rule" is true

but only applies to non-sticky food that is dropped on tile and hardwood floors.

Monkeys, robotic arms and neural implants

Yep, can't get much better than that! Happy Monday everyone!

As Boing Boing suggests, just go straight for the good stuff...

Hmunas are samrt!

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it
deosn't mttaer waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are in; the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh?

via Mindy

Austrian Birdman Falls to Earth -- From England to France

It's the same guy who jumped off the Statue in Rio...

via Drudge

Creationist Science Fair

2nd Place: "Pine Cones Are Complicated"

David Block and Trevor Murry (grades 4) showed how specifically complicated pine cones are and how they reveal God's design in nature.

Anything Into Oil

Ooops... ignore this post. I just noticed this was posted a few days ago.

To make it up for it, here's a cool new Honda Advertisement (No special effects were used!).

Anything Into Oil

Technological savvy could turn 600 million tons of turkey guts and other waste into 4 billion barrels of light Texas crude each year

The process is designed to handle almost any waste product imaginable, including turkey offal, tires, plastic bottles, harbor-dredged muck, old computers, municipal garbage, cornstalks, paper-pulp effluent, infectious medical waste, oil-refinery residues, even biological weapons such as anthrax spores. According to Appel, waste goes in one end and comes out the other as three products, all valuable and environmentally benign: high-quality oil, clean-burning gas, and purified minerals that can be used as fuels, fertilizers, or specialty chemicals for manufacturing.

Chernobyl Worms Have More Sex

THE Chernobyl nuclear disaster has radically changed the lives of worms in the region, which now enjoy more sex, Ukrainian scientists have said.

Scientists in Sebastopol have compared the way worms reproduce around Chernobyl, where radioactivity levels in the soil are 100 times higher than normal, with their cousins elsewhere.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Q sez these scientists never lived in Wrigleyville, where the worms don't even wait til they get home...

It's Earthday. What's your Footprint?

IF EVERYONE LIVED LIKE ME, WE WOULD NEED 5.2 PLANETS

via google

Onward science! Ho!

Just look at what your tax dollars have achieved. A man can EAT tea with chopsticks in space.

Plus, they're fun--and the entertainment value shouldn't be underestimated. One day, perhaps, luxury space hotels will offer their guests afternoon tea 300 miles above Earth . No cups or plates. Just chopsticks and droplets. Now that's high tea!

Where's my checkbook?

via boing boing

Spongeworthy? No worry...

In the years since it disappeared, the sponge achieved a kind of cult status, helped by a 1995 "Seinfeld" episode in which Elaine, discovering it would be discontinued, goes from pharmacy to pharmacy to stock up, then forces boyfriends to prove themselves "spongeworthy."

---------

The actual article is behind a NY Times login.

_{Q sez on these sites the login 'ANNOYING' and the password 'ANNOYING' works for me...}

British scientists develop "The New Black"

Special scientific liasons Spinal Tap retained to help explain concept to public.

UPDATE: See the Tap in action! (2.4 MB QT)

via the morning news

Powers of Ten

This is really, really cool. Go from the depths of outer space to subatomic study quickly without leaving your chair.

Wanna make a Rocket?

At the current time, we cannot ship to, or take payments from international locations.

Q says, "Be sure to check out the FAQ"

Help cure diseases: fold a protein

Because I am a geek, distributed computing is cool to me. If finding signals from space through SETI@Home was never your thing, perhaps curing Alzheimer's or Parkinson's is.

Head on over to Folding@Home and help really smart brainiacs figure out what makes proteins go wrong and cause diseases. If you'd like to join the House 8 Network team, the team number is 11615. (I'd link to the stats page, but it looks like the protein folders are too busy folding proteins to maintain their web server.)

See also: Adam Beberg's Distributed Computing Design Manifesto.

All of this

via boing boing

An Interesting Optical Illusion

You've probably seen similar optical illusions involving perceived color vs. actual color, but I've not seen it done this convincingly before. I had to download the image into photoshop to verify it for myself.

via JREF

Lemon juice = HIV Killer?

There's got to be a "When life gives you lemons..." in there somewhere.

Update: Q sez: "...make a battery."

via boing boing

Maybe we should send Billy Bob, just in case.

And while we're at it, Bruce Willis, too. Yippie Ki Yay, Muthafucka!

20 bucks to the first band that renames itself "2002 NT7." I've got it in my wallet right now, I swear.

via Everywhere

What's Next?

Twelve scientists lay odds on the next great inventions.

(via Forbes magazine)

Alexander Graham Bell Did Not Invent the Telephone, U.S. House Rules

Italy hailed the redress of a historic injustice yesterday after the US Congress recognised an impoverished Florentine immigrant as the inventor of the telephone rather than Alexander Graham Bell.

---------------

OK, so maybe Bell didn't invent the phone (maybe he really stole it from Elisha Gray). But he did do some cool stuff. .

Didja Hear the One About the Radioactive Boy Scout?

They opened the trunk and discovered a toolbox shut with a padlock and sealed with duct tape. The trunk also contained foil-wrapped cubes of mysterious gray powder, small disks and cylindrical metal objects, and mercury switches. The police were especially alarmed by the toolbox, which David said was radioactive and which they feared was an atomic bomb.

Weed Killer Found To Give Male Frogs Extra Sex Organs

Hayes said he didn't know, adding that, unlike frogs: "We're not in the water all the time. I'm not saying it's safe for humans. I'm not saying its unsafe for humans. All I'm saying is it that it makes hermaphrodites of frogs," he said.

Guys, I'm hosting a RoundUp party at my place Saturday night....

Did Mad Scientist Clone Richard Simmons?

"It struck me that this was a man," explained Dr. Altiplano, "the kind of man the world needs more of. His incredible wit and sagacity made me see that there should be more men like Richard Simmons - many more.

"And I intend to make many more clones of Richard - an army of them - to help the world."

I can't wait until David Letterman gets wind of this.

via Fark

SlugBot: Enemy of Slugs

In the near future, the very mention of SlugBot could send waves of terror through the slug community, while farmers will sing its
praises.

A prototype robot capable of hunting down over 100 slugs an
hour and using their rotting bodies to generate electricity is being
developed by engineers at the University of West England's
Intelligent Autonomous Systems Laboratory.

"Penis" in juice turns out to be mold

Rowe said Wednesday the pathologist from the coroner's office didn't do a tissue sample but only an external examination of the object before identifying it as a penis.

Rowe said she could see how the pathologist could come to that conclusion. "If you saw it, you would have believed it," she said.

This whole story is just too weird. Penis-shaped mold in fruit juice bottles has just got to be a sign of the apocalypse.


via QTip

UK Child Earthquake Terror!

On Friday, schoolchildren all over Britain ran outside, jumped up and down for a minute and caused an earthquake.

When reached for comment, a spokesperson for the children said, "We don't need no education. We don't need no thought control. No dark sarcasm in the classroom. Teachers leave them kids alone."

via Chicken Soup for the Rectum

Desktop Theremin

A downloadable desktop toy. It simulates the sound and control of a theremin using mouse position rather than the position of one's hands on space. Also included: background loops over which to play. PC and Mac versions are available!

Danger on The High Seas

Most people probably think that alcohol and bad weather are the biggest dangers in boating. Think again.

"Potential Explosion Hazard Exists for this Buoy"

Explosive hydrogen gas can accumulate inside the hull of 3-m discus buoys.

This dangerous gas is caused by batteries corroding due to water intrusion. While a remedial plan is being developed, mariners are asked to give this, and all other 3-meter discus buoys, a wide berth. The buoys are 3-meter discus shaped, typically with a yellow hull and a 5-meter tripod mast. All buoys are identified by the letters "NOAA" and the station identifier number, such as "46050" and has a group flashing (4) 20 second, yellow lights.

Please do not trespass, tamper with, or tie up to any NOAA data buoy. "

Make sure to click the link so you know what one looks like.

Project PigeonWatch

Big city ornithology for your browsing pleasure.

"If you have read this far, you are probably excited about becoming a PigeonWatcher."

F*ck yeah I'm excited!

Note: * = "lo"

Things seem a little slow around here today

So how 'bout a monkey opening cans with a screwdriver to liven things up a bit? No? Yeah, I didn't think so...

Many questions come to mind after watching the entire clip. I'll only ask one.

Why, if we were able to teach a monkey in 1952 how to pry off the lid of a can with a flathead screwdriver, have we not implemented armies of can-opening helper monkeys across the hardware and paint stores of this great land of ours? (Okay, so I lied about the one question part) And why, given the relative ease with which the monkey acheived this skill, have we not taught them how to use a paint roller? Think of the practical applications, man!

(Ok, I'll go now.)

via memepool

Amputee + Guillotine = Exciting Web Cam Action!!

Prepare yourself for an adventure like you have never before experienced. In an unprecedented event... LIVE via webcam access... you can watch Paul amputate his legs with a homemade guillotine!

Paul is hoping that at least 200,000 people sign up to watch him cut off his feet so that he can buy prosthetic legs.

Stay Healthy With the Toilet 'Doctor'

A company in Cheshire is designing a futuristic toilet which can monitor human waste and spot health problems.

At the first sign of a medical condition, the Versatile Interactive Pan (VIP) would contact a GP via the internet.

Only a country that brought us Princess Di and Boy George could be counted on to develop a toilet that diagnoses what you expel.

You Don't Know Squat

The way some people go to the toilet could be a matter of life and death. This is according to a study conducted in Calcutta and presented at the World Congress of Neurology taking place in London.

This may concern something a lot of women do. Some women hover over the toilet; they don�t put their butts down. That hovering could be harmful -- first, because the bladder isn�t fully emptied and now, it appears to raise the risk of stroke.

One-third of stroke deaths occurred while people were squatting. In India, it�s traditional for people to squat instead of sit or stand. They�ve found that not only do one third of strokes occur while squatting, the risks go way up if the people are squatting and doing their business. Fascinating.

Badastronomy.com

The Bad Astronomy web pages are devoted to airing out myths and misconceptions in astronomy and related topics.

Be sure to read his Tomb Raider review.

If you have not seen the movie, well, good for you! Read my review and let it be spoiled.

Hah!

via Sheila's Web Site

Eat Like an Astronaut For Less Than $20 Million!

Kids won't eat healthy? Camping food? Easy dorm room food? An out-of-this-world dinner party?

This real space food offered exclusively at The Space Store is ready to open and eat, and has a five-year shelf life. These meals and individual food items are prepared by the NASA food vendor and are made to the same specifications as those used by NASA contractors to prepare meals for the astronauts and cosmonauts on ISS.

the date my sister project

From the the people who brought you "Stinky Meat", comes the "Date My Sister Project". It's pretty funny how to see the lengths he goes to purchase all this random spy equipment and disguises, such as:

It's a long read, so if you have time to kill, check it!

Some Days It Doesn't Pay To Be Royalty

It seems Windsor Castle is overrun by poisonous spiders... "The creatures discovered so far have large fangs, hairy legs, an aggressive nature and a predominantly rusty red and black colouring". But they only have a 4-inch legspan, or I'd have thought for sure they were clones of Princess Fergie...

I really hate spiders...

Speaking of Nature gone amok, remember when they told us we had to get rid of all our vinyl records because CDs are superior?

Well, guess what?!!

There's a fungus amongus!

big bones, long....

...life span. tall people live longer than short people. i'll be damned.

Tale of the Radioactive Boy Scout

Fascinating. I suppose this is what happens when chemistry and physics are interesting at too young of an age.

Ignoring safety, David mixed his radium and americium with beryllium and aluminum, all of which he wrapped in aluminum foil, forming a makeshift reactor core. He surrounded this radioactive ball with a blanket of small foil-wrapped cubes of thorium ash and uranium powder, tenuously held together with duct tape.


via Camworld