It's still early in the AFC Championship game between the Patriots and the Colts, but if the Patriots win, I think I'm gonna have to go live in a cave for two weeks to escape the avalanche of comparisons between Super Bowl XX and Super Bowl XLI.
UPDATE: It's the Colts, overcoming the largest deficit in NFL Conference Championship history, coming from 18 down to beat the Patriots. This also means it's Lovie vs. Dungy, who are very close friends from their days in Tampa. Peyton and all his goddamned audibling vs. Urlacher, Briggs, Anderson, Brown, Ogunleye, et al. This is gonna be good.
In the meantime, everybody sing! The Bears are going to the Super Bowl!
Bear down, Chicago Bears, make every play clear the way to victory;
Bear down, Chicago Bears, put up a fight with a might so fearlessly.
We'll never forget the way you thrilled the nation with your T-formation.
Bear down, Chicago Bears, and let them know why you're wearing the crown.
You're the pride and joy of Illinois, Chicago Bears, bear down.
In a piece of footage from the recent St Louis storms, a woman trying to cross a blowing trail of rubbish at a Cardinals game, gets wallopped by a garbage dumpster. It looks like the running of the bulls, only with garbage. Watch the middle of the screen.
We may have finally found a way to make baseball interesting.
(This link is sketchy - If it fails, go to Crooks and Liars.com to see it)
Universally reviled
vice-president Dick Cheney
(far right) threw out the first
pitch in Washington today
to a deafening chorus of boos
and catcalls. It sounds like
a freight train.
The Fox announcer (Qtime)
doesn't even mention it.
With Prior and Wood starting the year on the DL, Cubs LF Matt Murton may be one of the few bright spots of this early season. He proved late last year he belonged in the bigs, and with an opening day 3-run homer in Cincy, he got 2006 off to a great start.
The story goes that when Murton first walked into the clubhouse, Greg Maddux asked, "Who's the orange guy?" and the nickname stuck.
Zombie running back Thomas Jones attempts to eat the brains of Packer safety Nick Collins. Oh, and the Bears clinched the NFC North Division, a first-round playoff bye, and swept the Packers for the first time since '91, all in the same day. Yay Christmas!
This site dedicated to my heroes...the beer vendors of Wrigley Field. Unfortunately my favorite vendor, Louie, is not featured. He was probably at a nascar event when the photos were taken.
CAR (WOO!)
RONNIE (WOO!)
CONCRETE (WOO!)
HOSPITAL (WOO!)
Ultimate Cubs fan/hobo, Ronnie "Woo Woo" was hit by a car today near wrigley, but is in good condition. If you've ever been in or around wrigley field during a Cubs game, you've probably heard "Woo Woo" and his infamous "woo" chants.
There's a new x-treme sport on the block, cup stacking. Nearly as dumb as the urban hipster sport of free-running, Cup Stacking invovles taking twelve specially designed plastic cups and arranging them into various pyramids in the shortest possible time. Okay, I know that sounds exactly like the plot of the movie Cocktail, but, trust me, this is way more entertaining. Just jump to the video page and check out the video of Emily Fox's world record (7.43 seconds) cup stack. While you're there, watch the "What Is Cup Stacking" video. By the end of the clip, you too will be convinved that cup stacking, in addition to promoting bilateral proficiency, will make your love-life richer, cure male-pattern baldness, end the turmoil in the Mid-East and, God willing, bring back the 59 cent menu at Taco Bell.
Indiana Pacers forward Ron Artest said Wednesday that he asked coach Rick Carlisle for time off because of a busy schedule that included promoting a soon-to-be released rap album, which led to his two-game benching.
Over the weekend, I heard a stat that kinda made my brain wobble. Anyone who's read Moneyball (I haven't yet) probably won't be surprised, though.
Including the current season's games up to Saturday, and the past 4 full seasons, the Oakland A's have won just one fewer game than the New York Yankees.
This year, the A's payroll is $59,825,167.
The Yankees payroll is $183,335,513.
I know that the stereotype of the bleachers is shirtless drunken yobs blindly praising Sosa and piling grief on opposing outfielders. Well, okay, that's mostly true. But tonight, Lisa, Karen, Steve and I spent possibly one of the most pleasant and fun nights I've ever had at Wrigley. The weather was absolutely perfect, and tonight's win over Houston was the best game I've been to in quite some time. It's a good game when the Cubs win and you can still admire an opponent's home run. Carlos Beltran just crushed that thing. (And whoever threw it back from outside had a gun. It almost landed at second.)
Perhaps the best part of the night was watching four friends playing the betting game where you put a dollar in and pass the cup each batter and watching the newlyweds of the group (wearing goofy "Bride" and "Groom" visors her mom had made them) win three times in a row. Then, two little boys in front of them wanted in on the game, so they all started putting dollars in for them, too.
At the end of the game, whoever ends up holding the cup wins whatever's left. The guy that won sat down, counted it out, and split the pot with the two kids. That probably just made their summer, winning $5 each out of a silly dollar game in the bleachers at Wrigley.
The infamous ball that may have cost the Cubs a trip to the world series last season is going to be destroyed this Thursday (Feb 26). Tune into MSNBC at 7:30 p.m. for a live broadcast of the ball's destruction.
Months ago when I learned that country singer Tim McGraw was baseball player Tug McGraw's son**, I thought "Wow, Tug must be dead quite a while now." Well he wasn't. Tug just died yesterday! I know almost nothing about him, but for some reason I think he was good guy. (!?) Chalk it up to advertising in the 70s. 19-years playing pro baseball sounded impressive. Is that long?
(* from an old Schick commercial)
(** ipso facto: he's Faith Hills father-in-law)
(Live on WGN radio) Two guys just tried to get into the Astros - Giants game at Minute Maid Park with a goat. They had a ticket for the goat, but were refused entry, reversing the Billy Goat Curse on the Cubs, as well as hexing the Astros playoff hopes with a rather clever poem.
I don't lump all straight guys together nor do I think there is some unified straight viewpoint, but...I'm wondering if any of you have any insight. Why do ostensibly straight football players sodomize their teammates with golf balls and pine cones?
This kind of story urns up often enough to make me think that big tough straight football jocks are really just closet-case butt-pirates.
I'm very confused.
I would seriously be one of the guys attacked. Whenever I used to golf, it seemed like people behind us were always bitching about how slow we were. Or maybe this is how they golf in Detroit... Karen?
In a recent interview with New York Magazine, Shockey allegedly called Bill Parcells a "homo."
Last year on Howard Stern, Shockey shared these stunningly-crafted thoughts on the possibility of having a gay teammate in college.
"No. I mean, if I knew there was a gay guy on my college football team, I probably wouldn't, you know, stand for it. You know, I think, you know, they're going to be in the shower with us and stuff, so I don't think that's gonna work."
Some wacky Japanese dudes on a wacky Japanese variety show stage an incredible ping-pong match that's sorta The Matrix meets Mummenschanz. You have to see it to believe it!
The crime: Alleged misdemeanor battery (assault on a sausage with a baseball bat)
The victim: Italian Sausage
The alleged perpetrator: Pittsburgh Pirates first baseman Randall Simon
The incident: As the four sausages were coming toward the finish line during their traditional race after the sixth inning, Simon allegedly whacked Italian Sausage over the head with a wood bat (presumably uncorked), causing the meat of the savory Italian variety to fall to the ground and also trip up the Hot Dog in the process.
Nice to see that while former NVU staffer John Fuller did not receive any credit for his hard work with Steve on the new Bobcats logo, THANKFULLY Chad Rupp did...phew! Isn't he creative director now?
July 4, 2003 -- LIQUID Gold: According to local beer industry sources, the Mets' and Yanks' concessionaires purchase half-kegs in bulk for approximately $29 per half-keg, roughly half the cost charged to bars and restaurants. Each half-keg holds 1,984 ounces, or 124 16-ounce servings.
So, if the teams sell 16-ounce servings for about $6.50, which they do, the profit over the initial purchase price of each half-keg begins when the fifth beer is sold and that profit, per half-keg, is nearly $800.
And that's why, regardless of the escalation of brew-fueled episodes of incivility at ballparks and arenas, those who call for the ban of beer sales are wasting their breath, ink and time.
In anticipation of the Cubs-Sox series at Wrigley Field June 20-22, dozens up on dozens of Sox fans are planing to take to the streets in what organizers are billing the Million Mullet March. It will be the largest gathering of Sox fans ever outside of the Cook County penitentiary system.
This slanderous article and more, thanks to The Heckler... the offical sarcastic newspaper for Cubs fans.
"Harvey -- a 200-pound white dog with a foot-long red tongue -- began mocking MacTavish during a timeout.
Harvey leaned over the glass behind the bench which prompted MacTavish to grab the tongue, rip it out and throw it into the crowd.
Undeterred, Harvey kept leaning over the glass. MacTavish reached for a hockey stick but was calmed by Oilers trainer Ken Lowe. Several Oilers players squirted Harvey with water bottles before security moved the mascot away."
In the end the NRL Judiciary had little trouble differentiating between a "wedgie", a "finger up the arse" and the area between the "arse and the nuts" before finding Hopoate guilty.
Cricket-mad Australians at the fifth Ashes test in Sydney this week made sure they missed none of the action by hiring the latest sports accessory, a "beer wench".
I have caught two "Sportaerobic" contests (jamborees, throw-downs, rumbles?) on cable over the last month, sitting there with an uneasy look on my face. Previously I had considered figure skating and synchronized swimming the bottom of the sports barrel.
You have to see this bizarre, frenetic sugar-induced prancing and it's exuberant (ahem!) costumes.
Maybe you already have...
Voluptuous SWF seeks man for walks on the beach, eating, erotic rubdowns, romantic evenings drinking protein shakes and regular asskickings.
Su Hua-Hsieh (female) of Taiwan, at the Asian Games.
Universally reviled 
