Hoover this!
I've been assured (by an instructor) that Paris used to be knee deep in dog-shit (although I don't recall a problem on my last visit) just as reputed, and the problem became ridiculous in the 90s. It's really cleaned up now thanks to a penalty system (135E) that was instituted after the previous solution was laughed off the streets. The city had a fleet of two-wheeled vehicles with huge vacuum bags that would drive around sucking up the offending crap. They entered the french lexicon as "merde-mobiles."
Chez Jpeg
Click to see the rest of my street, rue Keller.
mAhh technologie!
I'm crouched in a doorway in Paris, poaching somebodies wifi on 8% battery strength. Got here fine. One of the flight attendants on Aer Lingus was wearing green eyeshadow. Very unflattering.
French people very nice. Bought groceries this morning: "Bonjour... Je cherche pour le papier hygenique... et une banane" (Hi I'm looking for toilet paper, and a banana.) It sounds pretty bad out of context.
More on the next charge, and the next wifi link.
All my l'amour, jpeg.
Bye Bye L.A.
Hello interminable flight to Paris without carry-on luggage, or electronics.
I leave my job in an hour. I leave L.A. at 8pm.
2 Meter Wurst!
Just got back from a trip to Vienna...while I was there, we went to a place called Centimeter, where you can order a 2 Meter Wurst! 200 centimeters of delicious encased meat!
2 New Rings Around Yer Anus
Add the 2 new rings to the 11 existing known rings and to the 22 known moons, and you've got quite a lot going on with Uranus. :-)
More Rings Are Found Around Planet Uranus
Of course none of this will true in a few weeks, once King George declares the Earth is flat (and always has been), and the Sun revolves around the Earth (and always has), and anyone that says different is just emboldening the terrorists.
They touched my monkey
A german dude (below) is suing the CIA for wrongly kidnapping and torturing him.
For clarification the U.S. is the country that doesn't torture (but rejects legislation that bans torture), that was not responsible for Abu Ghraib (but reserves the right to torture) whose overseas citizens are not bound by the Geneva convention (except when they are), and who does not use extraordinary rendition (but has secret prisons all over Europe and now in North Africa).
It's crystal clear. I don't know why the God-damned liberals can't keep it straight.
"Actually... I enjoyed some of it."
You think traffic is bad now.
Save Chicago Transit.
SPRING BREAK FALLUJAH 2005!
"Some of my friends are hassling me, spamming me with all sorts of scary stuff telling me how Bush is going to bring back the draft, so I should vote for Kerry. And I’m like, hello, I should vote to avoid the draft? Fuck that. The draft is TOTALLY GONNA RULE. So I started this site to make sure that no one takes away MY right to a draft."
http://www.enjoythedraft.com
Book your trip abroad now, with options for One Way or One Way. You can also choose Economy, Business, or Body Bag class. Sorry, but body armour is an extra $50.
Lighten up Frances!
With apologies to Jeff Carlson, Florida is a tear-down.
Take That, everywhere else!
Chicago has been chosen as the most enjoyable city when playing away games by Major League Baseball players.
Apparently you good people "dress real nice like you have somewhere to go." (?)
One dork voted for Houston, but he's from here (H-town) and doesn't know any better.
TSA: Thousands Standing Around
Latest entry to the Shit List: The Transportation Security Act fuckos who broke our luggage on our way to Mexico last month.
Why do you bother even having a lost/damaged report to fill out if your Bureaucrat Drone Bosses have absolved everyone of any liability?
Their Auto-Generated Response Fuck Off Email at least states that the TSA certainly "apologize[s] for any difficulties you may have experienced." You bet! I pay your fucking salary asshole, and now you owe me a suitcase.
Related: US Aviation Safety "smoke and mirrors"
AA pilot freaks the Bejezus Boots out of passengers
An American Airline pilot asked "all the Christians to please raise their hands," causing everyone to instead reach for the first available phone and call in a Crazy Person Report.
It ain't friggin' 7 F in Mexico!
Just back from an incredible week in Puerto Vallarta. More photos to come, but this particular photo requires immediate dissemination to the masses.
Please note: Carl brought the mask with him.
(Also available in Desktop Wallpaper size.)
Drug War is Fine - Wish You Were Here!
Nuevo Laredo... Heavily armed Mexican army troops and federal police guard the principal street intersections of this popular border town, as the government tries to quell a brutal, bloody battle between warring drug cartels. 75 people were murdered during 2003 in Nuevo Laredo, and the majority of the killings appear to be drug-related. In recent months, the violence has spilled across the Rio Grande to Laredo. Three men were gunned down in Laredo last November in contract killings now linked to the cartel struggle across the river. The battle raging in Nuevo Laredo is for control of one of the Southwest border's most lucrative drug trafficking corridors
We heard about this the instant we talked to the locals in Laredo. We still went across into Nuevo Laredo where we saw the military presence (along with incredible poverty) in the article. Two short trips for dinner and drinks which were very cheap.
Laredo is a town that will never rise above it's alternate economy and/or poverty for geographic reasons alone. Mexican Americans were routinely kind and soft-spoken. Had a nice time, and now a non-stop week of deadlines awaits.
Off To Mexico
This semester we'll be looking at immigration. Friday morning my class is taking a five hour drive to Laredo TX, through the border crossing (below left) and into Nuevo-Laredo Mexico. Should be eye-opening fun.
I will not be drinking the water.
Here's the shoe I will be deconstructing in my other class.
In response to my story about missing engine rivets on our first plane back from LA (don't worry, they found them in LA, not Chicago), Q sent me this. It had me belly-laughing this afternoon. Those wacky Aussies!
via Qtip
At first glance, very funny. But if you think about it, very very sad. Has it really come to this? Happy 4th, everyone...
via svn
About 750 people traveled to Las Vegas to attend the seventh annual National Abstinence Clearinghouse Conference, which runs through Sunday. Convention exhibitors displayed various abstinence items, including "Keep It" underwear depicting a large red stop sign with the message "No Trespassing."
Ditch those pesky civil liberties and work on your tan in lovely downtown Guantanamo Bay!
For only $19.95, you too can look like a complete jackass on a plane.
And in case using it doesn't make you look stupid enough, when you're not using it, you can store it in an embroidered velvet carry pouch. That's a selling point?
via boing boing
THERE have been plenty of cars labelled dogs but now there is a car for dogs.
Honda has launched what it describes as a "pet-friendly small utility vehicle" for the Japanese market and called it the Vamos Hobio Travel Dog.
I couldn't find a picture to go with the story, but it may be a version of this.
Bad timing, indeed.
Val and Jeff went to Argentina and marvelled at the advancements in liquid-refreshment grocery-stocking techinques.
Although she will claim otherwise, I've heard that Val took the missing bottle of "minerva" off the shelf "just to fuck with them."
"Homercidal"
More Val and Jeff Argentina goodness.
In 1994 two friends and I drove down to Daytona to fly to Bermuda to relieve a crew of six on a sailboat there. We then sailed it back to Florida. It was beautiful.
The strangest among many odd signs we passed on the trip down was for Big Bone Lick state park, located in Beaver Lick Kentucky.
Saddam vs. Bush
Although Saddam caved and will allow UN weapons inspectors to return to Iraq , now Bush is insisting that Iraq hand over it's weapons, end it's nuclear program and Saddam get a tattoo that says "I am the Bush Family Bitch"
(From Greg Kinnear last night)
Rapid melting of the Arctic ice pack may turn a cherished sailor's myth into reality. The Northwest Passage, the legendary shipping shortcut from the Atlantic to the Pacific, could be ice-free in as few as 10 years
An ice-free Northwest Passage would let ships traveling between Europe and Asia shave more than 4,000 miles off the route through the Panama Canal and would allow ships to avoid the occasional delays and the passage fees of the canal.
Well sure, if it saves someone a passage fee, it must be good...
Time Travel is now possible with the magic of compound interest! Assuming that time travel will exist in 500 years. Just $1 compounded over this time will result in $39 billion dollars. Someone will then come back and take you to the future, rejuvenating your health and supporting you financially.
Personally, I'd like them to come back from the future, and hand me the check for $39 Billion.
Dumbass Hans von Schweinitz gets his family kicked off plane for asking if the pilots are sober, then compares America West flight attendants to Hitler's Boot Boys.
"It sent cold chills down my back," he said. "My family opposed Hitler, but if you asked the wrong questions, you took your life in your hands, because the SS and Gestapo had complete power."
...
[T]he flight crew announced that the plane's departure would be delayed because a passenger had asked if the pilot had taken a blood alcohol test.
The delay lasted 2 1/2 hours while the crew waited for a blood alcohol test to be brought to the airport.
...
A security guard escorted the von Schweinitz family off the plane. The airline put the family on the next flight to Seattle.
"People cheered, and that was embarrassing and humiliating," Christopher von Schweinitz said.
Hans, bubby: Yer an asshole.
via Obscure Store
Hey Carlos and Roberta
Is there a timeshare in Alberta?
via Peterme
They may be big, loud and drunk, but there is no need to fear them.
Hah! Here we go! Here we go! Here we go!
The pamphlets urge shopkeepers to try to communicate with the fans, and in addition to daily phrases like 'Welcome' and 'Can I help you', it recommends trying: 'England are a great team'.
Well, better than '94, anyway.
Wait, it gets better...
'The Handy Guide for England Supporters', which will be handed out to the fans together with their tickets, tell them to avoid a 'cultural red card', such as taking shirts off in public, and advising that those with tatoos cover them up.
It also warns that drunken fans will not be allowed into the matches, urging: 'Pace yourself!'
The media loves this shit. "Oh, my! Nooo! Here come the hooligans! Hide the women and children!" Fox Sports World has been running these short "Road to the World Cup" fluff pieces on teams, players, and how Korea and Japan are preparing for the crowds. Almost all of these are used to demonstrate the flash new riot gear the cops have, including net guns that can take down three people from five meters away or some crap like that. The most recent one shows Japanese riot cops taking on a "simulated" attack by hooligans, followed by the cops jumping all over the "hooligans," 3-5 on 1.
Nothing is funnier than a Japanese guy trying to act like an English hooligan. I'm pretty sure they were laughing through the whole performance.
Considering that the Italians have had like 65 governments in the last 50 years, its not surprising that they put it to a vote.
Find the cheapest fares by searching 30 travel sites in one go.
via Seth
OSLO (Reuters) - An American woman had no need to fasten her seatbelt on a flight from Scandinavia to the United States after a high-pressure vacuum flush sealed her to the toilet seat of the transatlantic airliner.
The woman filed a complaint with Scandinavian Airlines System (SAS) after her ordeal on a Boeing 767 flight last year. She got sucked in after pushing the flush button while seated, activating a system to clean the toilet by vacuum, the airline said Monday.
"She could not get up by herself and had to sit on the toilet until the flight had landed so that ground technicians could help her get loose," a SAS spokeswoman told Reuters. "She was stuck there for quite a long time."
Headin' to New York anytime soon? Be sure to take advantage of this night on the town.
via zena
Emergency crews were called to a Toronto airport after a horse went berserk on a Boeing 747.
More on Ginger (now termed "Segway")
"Cars are great for going long distances," Kamen told a reporter from Time. "But it makes no sense at all for people in cities to use a 4,000-pound piece of metal to haul their 150-pound asses around town."
Another mnore technical article on IT from Wireless.
FAA to do background checks on 750,000 employees
The Federal Aviation Administration plans to check the backgrounds of every employee who has access to secured areas of airports, Administrator Jane Garvey said Wednesday.
Garvey told a National Press Club luncheon that she hoped to have the checks completed within nine months. Around 750,000 employees will be checked.
It's a good thing they are taking swift action! Holy hell, don't they realize nine months is plenty of time for possible insider terrorists to strike in some fashion? Maybe they should implement the Rapid Speed Process and get through the checks before the end of the world. Gosh!
via Washington Post
If you decide to wax up your Discover card and actually go to some of the locations described in this book, please remember that visiting these places may likely get you killed or earn you the nickname Stumpy. On the other hand, since more people are injured in their homes than outside them, you may be safer traveling to some of the places in this book. So remember, this is a book about dangerous places, dangerous people and dangerous things. If you are one of those people who doesn't know the difference between phone sex and everlasting love, quickly put this book back on the shelf. Nothing in this book will get you out of a Somali jail and no one in Chechnya gives a damn if you really are a nice person and make a mean chocolate mousse.
This is the warning to the online version of Robert Young Pelton's The World's Most Dangerous Places.
via MetaFilter
Okay, this has gone too far! I love this Police story. Two cops, one helicopter, one box of doughnuts--two idiots.
via Ananova
Francis Ford Coppola has recut this classic piece of cinema and added almost an hour of new footage. Given that it almost killed him (and some of the cast) the first time around, I'm not sure why he's chosen to mess with it, but you can bet I'm going to rush out and see it.
via Tony L
Here is an interesting label I found on a bag of Taiwanese crackers. This image is guaranteed to touch yourmind.
Dr. Yuri Zotov likes his job as surgeon at Vacha's one and only hospital. The problem is the pay...
...Instead of rubles, Vacha's esteemed medical professionals were offered 3 tons of manure for services rendered.
These Russian doctors sound like a bunch of whiners if you ask me.
Report comparing American sexual activity data to French.
"American men reported 16 sexual partners in a lifetime on average while French men reported 13. American women said they had six partners, on average, in a lifetime while French women reported having an average of four."
2 thoughts:
- Americans are 20 to 30 percent sluttier than the french.
- Is it just me or do these numbers seem really low?
Check out this the latest smash music video from, uh... somewhere.
